This week on Haunted and Homicidal, we dive scalp-first into the wild world of medical “professionals” who really said, “Do no harm? Never heard of her.”

First up is Jolly Jane Toppan — a nurse described as “unattractively fat” (first of all, RUDE. The audacity. The Victorian era really had no chill). But behind that backhanded insult was a woman who loved two things: murder and making people almost die just so she could bring them back. You know… for funsies.

Then we move on to Charles Cullen, the nurse who decided that grilling in the shower was a good way to end it all. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Because apparently, logic had already left the room (probably along with the carbon monoxide).

Meanwhile, Mischa makes her dramatic return with a symphony of barks because, once again, Lauren has a full house of chaos — family, friends, ghosts, probably Jane’s spirit lurking somewhere judging our life choices.

So grab a drink, lock your meds, and join us for an episode full of unhinged hospital horror, questionable life decisions, and the sweet sounds of Mischa’s background commentary.