Ep. 523 I Feel Like a Good Dad and a Shitty Parent

Fatherhood Field Notes

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8d ago 15:56

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In this episode of Fatherhood Field Notes: The Craft of Fatherhood, host Ned Schaut gets real about the tension between being a “fun dad” and a responsible parent. Reflecting on moments with his teens and college-aged kids, Ned shares how easy it is to say yes to dirt bikes, hangouts, and late-night drives—but how crucial it is to also enforce accountability, chores, and responsibility. Through candid stories about family dinners, devotions, and even shutting down screen time, he explores how fatherhood shifts with each season—from raising young kids to guiding adult children—and why dads must lead their homes with love, calm firmness, and consistency. At the heart of the conversation is learning when to hold the line and when to step back—when to enforce discipline and when to show mercy. Ned opens up about moments where he intentionally stayed quiet, choosing relationship over reaction, and how that practice can change the way kids respond. With practical tips, raw honesty, and affirmations like “I am the CEO of this house” and “I will not surrender my responsibility to lead this home,” this short but powerful episode challenges fathers to ask: Do I need to say yes more, no more—or show mercy more often?

Chapters:

00:00:00 – Welcome to Fatherhood Field Notes
00:01:32 – “Good Dad, Shitty Parent”
00:03:52 – Balancing fun dad vs. structured parent
00:06:27 – Tip 1: Present a united front; don’t say “because mom wants it”
00:07:14 – Tip 2: Know when to stay silent
00:08:00 – Tip 3: Enforce consequences (screen time off for missed devotions)
00:08:51 – Tip 4: Balance saying yes and no
00:09:54 – Parenting beyond 18—shift into advisor role
00:12:15 – Affirmation 1: “I am the CEO of this house”
00:13:49 – Affirmation 2: “I will not surrender my responsibility to lead”

Links and Resources:

Transform Your Body with Ned & RUK Fitness:
RUK Fitness
This episode is sponsored by The Adventure of Fatherhood
Order The Adventure of Fatherhood children's book here
Check out the TEDx

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