Ep. 158: Breaking the Usual Error — How Assumptions Sabotage Your Marriage and What God Says About It

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

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12d ago 43:23

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Have you ever caught yourself assuming you knew what your spouse was thinking or feeling—only to find out you were completely wrong? That's what we call "The Usual Error"—and it's one of the most common causes of conflict, hurt, and disconnection in marriage.

In this episode, we'll unpack what the Bible says about making assumptions, why they're biblically unwise, and how to replace them with curiosity, humility, and God's wisdom to strengthen your marriage.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

1. What the Usual Error Is and Why It Hurts Marriage

How assumptions create false narratives and unspoken expectations
Why acting on unproven beliefs leads to miscommunication

2. Why Making Assumptions Can Be Spiritually Dangerous

It's based on what's unproven → Leads to wrong conclusions
It shows a lack of wisdom → Proverbs 18:2: "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
It causes division → Misunderstandings breed resentment and distance
It reflects pride → Assuming we know our spouse's motives takes God's place as the only One who sees hearts

3. What the Bible Encourages Instead

Practice humility and patience (Ephesians 4:2-3): Bear with one another in love
Seek truth and discernment (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:21): Think on what is true and test everything

4. How to Break the Usual Error in Marriage

Practical tools to shift from assumption to understanding:

Pause before reacting: "Do I have proof, or am I assuming?"
Ask clarifying questions instead of assigning motives
Practice reflective listening to ensure you've heard your spouse correctly
Invite God into the conversation through prayer and patience

5. Encouragement and Hope

Marriage is strengthened when you replace assumptions with curiosity and humility. Unity grows when you trust God more than your perceptions, opening the door for deeper connection, grace, and peace.

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