Dear Evil Engineer: Could I steal a lake to top up my shark-infested moat?

Evil Engineer

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The Evil Engineer turns their attention to a booming area of villainy: water theft.
Dear Evil Engineer,

Earlier this year I bought a derelict castle. I’ve been busy with upkeep, dealing with a bat infestation (the previous owner had chased them out) and fixing the dungeon (it had been converted into a yoga and wellness studio). The final addition will be a shark-filled moat.

I have dug out a deep moat around my castle and now I just need to fill it. However, my water is metered, so I hesitate simply to get out the hosepipe. Could you suggest how I could empty a nearby lake in the dead of night and use the stolen water to fill my moat?

If you also have any time for suggesting how to transport sharks (I can’t be certain it is impossible to send them whooshing down a pipeline, but I’ve never tried), that would be much appreciated.

Yours,
An aquatic villain

10 episodes

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