Nervous System Regulation After Betrayal: Somatic Tools to Calm Panic, Stop Shutdown, and Reclaim Your Power

“Sensations are the language of the nervous system. When you notice—and stay with—the feeling, the cycle completes and your system comes back to safety.” -- Laurie James

When betrayal scrambles your nervous system, healing isn’t just “mindset”—it’s body-based. In this episode, we unpack somatic, practical ways to calm panic, prevent shutdown, and rebuild your capacity so you can make clear decisions and feel safe again.

Betrayal shocks the body as much as the mind. Lora talks with somatic practitioner and coach Laurie James about nervous system regulation after infidelity—what “somatic” really means, how polyvagal states show up (ventral vagal, sympathetic, dorsal), and simple practices that help you come out of anxiety, numbness, or overwhelm. You’ll learn how to complete the stress cycle, set body boundaries, and create five-minute rituals that expand your capacity without adding more to your plate. Whether you’re staying, leaving, or still deciding, these tools help you feel safer now—so you can choose your next step from clarity, not crisis.

Top 3 Takeaways

1. Know your state to change your state.
   Learn the cues of ventral (present/connected), sympathetic (fight/flight), and dorsal (shutdown). Naming your state reduces shame and gives you a map back to safety.
2. Small pockets > big pushes.
   Micro-practices (5 minutes to ground, orient, breathe, feel sensations) complete the stress cycle and build capacity—so you can handle life with more ease and fewer blowups.
3. Somatic ≠ “just think positive.”
   80% of information travels from body to brain; regulation starts in the body. Gentle, titrated work prevents re-traumatization and supports wiser decisions during hard conversations, mediation, or reconciliation.

About Laurie James — Somatic Practitioner & Life Coach

Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie’s podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go.

Laurie’s book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble.

Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire.

When she is not coaching clients or podcasting, she can be found nurturing her free spirit by walking her dog, skiing, sailing, hiking, spending time with close friends or planning her next adventure.

Website: https://www.laurieejames.com/

Podcast (site page): https://www.laurieejames.com/podcast2

Podcast (Apple): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-freebird-midlife-divorce-heal/id1694026063

Free download – Beginner’s Guide to Somatic Healing: https://notable-apricot-657.myflodesk.com

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Don’t just listen—start healing.

Get your free downloadable guide on the “The Top Three Ways You Betray Yourself Every Day, and How to Stop” at www.burnoutorbetrayal.com. https://workplace-burnout.com/the-top-3-ways-you-betray-yourself-every-day-and-how-to-stop/

If you’re ready to Rise Up & Reign as the creator and queen of your life, let’s talk. I will walk by your side and give you the perspective, permission, and wisdom needed to turn your betrayal experience into something constructive, empowering, and transformative in all the right ways.

Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

Download your Sparkle After Betrayal Recovery Guide at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com, a guide designed to help you take the first steps in feeling better, so you can reclaim your power, own your worth, and start putting yourself, and your life, back together again.

About Lora:

Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, TEDx speaker, and author of FLAUNT! and It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal.

After uncovering her husband’s 15-year affair, she turned her own pain into purpose—helping high-achieving women reclaim their identity, power, and joy.

A trauma-aware coach, somatic therapist, and former attorney, Lora blends legal insight with emotional and spiritual healing for full-spectrum recovery.

She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal. Learn more at www.loracheadle.com and follow me across all social!

Get the support you need to find your footing, begin making sense of it all, and feel better fast. As an attorney, betrayal recovery expert, and survivor of infidelity I can help you find the clarity and confidence to create a life that you love on the other side of betrayal. Book Your Session Here: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/coaching-session

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