When Kids Break Stuff: Teaching Accountability Without Shame or Punishment

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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3d ago 17:20

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Your child smashes a TV. Or floods the bathroom. Or writes off the car. What now?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of parenting’s trickiest questions: should our kids pay for the damage they cause? You’ll hear real family stories, a breakdown of natural vs logical consequences, and a powerful mindset shift that helps kids take ownership without shame — and keeps relationships intact.

KEY POINTS

Why “natural consequences” aren’t the same as punishment
How to teach accountability without blame, guilt, or control
The “OAR vs BED” principle: helping kids own mistakes and grow from them
When (and how) to talk about reparations or paying for damages
How to balance compassion, responsibility, and fairness

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Discipline isn’t about punishment. It’s about problem solving — together.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Happy Families Membership
10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson
Entitled [Upcoming Live Webinar]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

When something breaks, pause before reacting.
Ask: “What does my child need right now?” — not “What consequence fits this?”
Guide your child toward ownership, accountability, and reparation.
Keep the relationship more important than the thing.

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