“Caregivers are natural givers… when it comes time to ask for help, that guilty voice shows up.” In Episode 286, Linda says, “I hate to ask my sons for help. This is my job, not theirs.”
I answer plainly: “That guilt doesn't protect anyone. It just leaves you drained and makes it harder for you to serve with patience and joy.”

As always, I begin with the exact clarifying prompt:
“if you look back six months from today and your caregiving journey is easier. What would need to happen for you to say that you have been able to steward it well, keeping in mind your health and your relationships in the process?”

Linda’s hope is simple: ask her sons for specific times—“a few hours in an evening or on Saturday or Sunday”—to take Dad out. She hesitates because they’re building their own families.

Here’s the reframe I offer:

1) Receiving is part of stewardship. Givers often struggle to receive. But when you never ask, you remove your children’s opportunity to give to you. Offer structured choices and concrete time blocks so they can put it on the calendar.

2) Let “no” be an honest answer. Sons are heads of their households; sometimes the right answer is no. Don’t take it personally. Use that no to pursue other provision: church friends, paid caregivers, wider community. The need you identified is respite—find it.

3) Take one action step. After the call I ask, “What is the one action step you will take?” Start with your children; if they can’t, line up help elsewhere. Longitudinal support matters—join early so you’re not guessing alone.

If you want steady, faith-centered help, the Christian DigniCare Society offers lifetime access, monthly AMAs, prayer, and a curated library—plus a 15-minute welcome call if you join before year-end.
Or come to Ask the Dementia Coach live on September 20.
You don’t have to carry this alone.

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🧭 Still Feeling Stuck?
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