In this episode of the David Watson Podcast, betrayal-trauma practitioner Mr Jay breaks down what really happens to your brain and body after infidelity or a breakup, why the pain can feel worse than grief, and the practical steps to move from shock to stability to rebuilding. We talk about

• Why betrayal trauma is different: it feels personal, it’s a “secret society,” and it even rewrites your past
• The brain on betrayal: amygdala overdrive, prefrontal cortex shutdown, hippocampus and time/place distortions
• Triggers and “emotional flashbacks,” and how to calm the system so you can think again
• The early rule: don’t make major decisions in the first 3–6 months; choose from empowerment, not fear
• Needs assessment 101: what you actually need in week 1 vs. week 12
• Betrayal blindness and the thousand micro-justifications that precede an affair
• Reframing the inner dialogue: separating your worth from someone else’s choices
• Pebbles and raindrops: tiny promises that rebuild self-trust and self-esteem
• Practical tools: journaling, simple meditations, walking, “gratitude with reasons,” and everyday follow-through
• Staying vs leaving in long relationships: finances, family systems, resentment, and compassion without excusing
• The “dash” on the tombstone, bridge-and-volcano analogy, and other mindsets that help you keep going Key takeaways
• Healing time beats time alone. Numbing and avoiding stretch the pain; gentle daily work releases it.
• You are 0% responsible for someone else’s decision to betray. You’re 100% responsible for how you show up next.
• Self-esteem returns through kept promises to yourself. Start very small and be consistent.
• If you stay, rebuild from safety and transparency; if you leave, leave when you feel grounded and resourced. Resources and mentions
• Mr Jay, betrayal-trauma practitioner and relationship coach
• Gratitude journal exercise: list 3 things you’re grateful for, with 3 reasons each
• Music mention: The Lady of Shalott by Loreena McKennitt

If you’re in the thick of it Please don’t do anything rash.

Give yourself days and weeks to settle your nervous system. Talk to someone trained in betrayal/trauma. Being heard and guided changes everything. Where to find Mr Jay https://mrjayrelationshipcoach.com