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Four words can slice through a tender moment of grief: “At least it was” (now, fill in the blank). We’ve heard it, we’ve felt the sting, and we wanted to unpack why platitudes show up so easily—especially around miscarriage—and what to say (and not say) when someone you love is hurting. Sophie from Miscarriage Mumma Support joins us again to explore the complex reality of baby loss, the social pressure to “look on the bright side,” and the deeper work of choosing presence over pat answers.
We talk about why people reach for platitudes in the first place: discomfort, fear, and the reflex to fix what can’t be fixed. Together, we examine the false hierarchy of loss that pits experiences against each other, and we share how separating spaces—loss, trying after loss, pregnancy after loss—can actually reduce comparison and increase care. You’ll hear concrete language swaps, gentle questions that open a door instead of closing one, and simple ways to show up that don’t require a solution: sitting in silence, remembering dates, checking in after the initial shock fades.
This conversation also looks at the “good vibes only” mindset and how it slips into support as quick tips and toxic positivity. We reflect on cultural habits that push activity over acknowledgment—from pep talks to one-size-fits-all “fixes”—and why real healing starts with being witnessed. If you’ve ever struggled with what to say, or if platitudes have left you feeling unseen, this episode offers a compassionate, practical framework: get comfortable being uncomfortable, ask better questions, and let people lead their own stories.
If this resonated, share it with someone who wants to support better, subscribe for future conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your voice helps change the way we show up for grief.

Related Episodes:

• E14: The Unspoken Agony of Life after Multiple Miscarriages (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support - part 4)
• E18: Doing Right by Grief (ft. Miscarriage Mumma Support)

Visit Miscarriage Mumma for more information and resources.

Show Music from Soundstripe:

• Vinyl Glow by Joachim
• East London by Nu Alkemi$t
• Nowhere Left To Turn by Ghost Beatz
• Caesura by Hale (theme)