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Jeanine Mouchawar — Talking to Teens When “I Don’t Know” Is Every Answer

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Manage episode 509437198 series 3655435
Content provided by Michelle Choairy. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Michelle Choairy or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

In this conversation, Michelle sits down with parenting coach Jeanine Mouchawar to unpack why the strategies that worked for little kids fall apart in the teen years—especially for neurodivergent teens—and how small shifts in tone, timing, and language rebuild connection without power struggles.

Jeanine shares:

  • The teen transition = a parent transition. Your child’s needs change at puberty; your approach must, too. “What worked at 8 won’t work at 14”—and that’s normal.
  • Side-door conversations beat head-on clashes. Skip the spotlight and eye contact; try parallel talks (car rides, walking, chores) and start with low-stakes observations instead of accusations.
  • Say less, get more. Lead with a single fact + a curious question: “I noticed a D on the test—what happened?” (Not: lectures, portals, and punishments.)
  • Shame shuts down the brain. When kids sense our disappointment, they can’t problem-solve. Regulate yourself first; then coach them.
  • Name it to tame it. Build a feelings vocabulary (beyond “mad/sad”) so kids can describe embarrassed, overwhelmed, frustrated—and choose better coping.
  • DBT-lite at home. Practical skills that help: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindful pauses (“Mom needs a time-out—give me a minute.”)
  • For neurodivergent teens (ADHD/LD): Short sentences, reflective listening (“So you meant…?”), and indirect empathy (“I miss that puppy…”) open doors that direct comfort can slam.
  • Five questions that get teens talking. Jeanine’s free guide to jump-start stalled conversations—tested over a decade with families.

Quote to tape on the fridge:
“Calm is a strategy. Regulate you first—then your teen can borrow your nervous system.”

Whether your teen is quiet-quitting family life or debating every boundary, Jeanine’s message is simple: connection before correction. Shift the approach, and the “I don’t knows” start turning into real conversations.

👤 About Jeanine Mouchawar
Jeanine is a parenting coach who helps moms and dads of preteens through young adults reduce conflict, rebuild communication, and navigate the unique needs of neurodivergent teens using practical, skills-based tools grounded in emotion regulation and connection.

🔗 Connect with Jeanine
IG: https://www.instagram.com/jeanine.theparentingcoach
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jeaninemouchawarcoaching
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeaninemouchawar/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmQD811NxejLhXRJwG19k7g
Website: www.jeaninemouchawar.com
#ComplexKidsSimpleSolutions #

Listen to this episode and more at
https://wisdom4complexkids.com/complexkidssimplesolutions

🎧 Connect with Michelle:
Website: www.wisdom4complexkids.com
Instagram: @michellechoairy
Join the community: Wisdom 4 Complex Kids Facebook Group

💌 Have a question or want to share your story? Email Michelle at [email protected]

🧠 Want simple tools that actually work?
Download the free advocacy toolkit: wisdom4complexkids.com/the-ultimate-advocacy-toolkit-pdf

  continue reading

31 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 509437198 series 3655435
Content provided by Michelle Choairy. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Michelle Choairy or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

In this conversation, Michelle sits down with parenting coach Jeanine Mouchawar to unpack why the strategies that worked for little kids fall apart in the teen years—especially for neurodivergent teens—and how small shifts in tone, timing, and language rebuild connection without power struggles.

Jeanine shares:

  • The teen transition = a parent transition. Your child’s needs change at puberty; your approach must, too. “What worked at 8 won’t work at 14”—and that’s normal.
  • Side-door conversations beat head-on clashes. Skip the spotlight and eye contact; try parallel talks (car rides, walking, chores) and start with low-stakes observations instead of accusations.
  • Say less, get more. Lead with a single fact + a curious question: “I noticed a D on the test—what happened?” (Not: lectures, portals, and punishments.)
  • Shame shuts down the brain. When kids sense our disappointment, they can’t problem-solve. Regulate yourself first; then coach them.
  • Name it to tame it. Build a feelings vocabulary (beyond “mad/sad”) so kids can describe embarrassed, overwhelmed, frustrated—and choose better coping.
  • DBT-lite at home. Practical skills that help: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindful pauses (“Mom needs a time-out—give me a minute.”)
  • For neurodivergent teens (ADHD/LD): Short sentences, reflective listening (“So you meant…?”), and indirect empathy (“I miss that puppy…”) open doors that direct comfort can slam.
  • Five questions that get teens talking. Jeanine’s free guide to jump-start stalled conversations—tested over a decade with families.

Quote to tape on the fridge:
“Calm is a strategy. Regulate you first—then your teen can borrow your nervous system.”

Whether your teen is quiet-quitting family life or debating every boundary, Jeanine’s message is simple: connection before correction. Shift the approach, and the “I don’t knows” start turning into real conversations.

👤 About Jeanine Mouchawar
Jeanine is a parenting coach who helps moms and dads of preteens through young adults reduce conflict, rebuild communication, and navigate the unique needs of neurodivergent teens using practical, skills-based tools grounded in emotion regulation and connection.

🔗 Connect with Jeanine
IG: https://www.instagram.com/jeanine.theparentingcoach
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jeaninemouchawarcoaching
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeaninemouchawar/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmQD811NxejLhXRJwG19k7g
Website: www.jeaninemouchawar.com
#ComplexKidsSimpleSolutions #

Listen to this episode and more at
https://wisdom4complexkids.com/complexkidssimplesolutions

🎧 Connect with Michelle:
Website: www.wisdom4complexkids.com
Instagram: @michellechoairy
Join the community: Wisdom 4 Complex Kids Facebook Group

💌 Have a question or want to share your story? Email Michelle at [email protected]

🧠 Want simple tools that actually work?
Download the free advocacy toolkit: wisdom4complexkids.com/the-ultimate-advocacy-toolkit-pdf

  continue reading

31 episodes

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