Transforming relapse into momentum, building community, and learning to let go of perfectionism. In this first guest episode, Tom joins me to talk candidly about sobriety, slipping on a golf weekend, owning it publicly, and getting right back on the horse. We compare AA vs. online recovery communities (The Luckiest Club, Reframe), talk about meeting cadence and fit, and unpack the “voice” that tries to drag us back to drinking. I also share a personal check-in: Halloween marks three years since my intervention and 19.5 months sober today—proof that it really “takes what it takes.”

What we cover:

- Relapse, restarts, and why honesty keeps you sober long-term

- AA meetings vs. online communities (pros, cons, and finding your people)

- Surrender vs. “moderation” and the illusion of control

- Anxiety, the nervous system, and why alcohol makes it worse over time

- Perfectionism, people-pleasing, and healthy boundaries in recovery

- Coffee/caffeine as a crutch in early sobriety

- Share etiquette: speak in “I” statements, stay on topic, 3-minute timers

- Rage, misdirected criticism, and choosing to walk away

- Practical tools that actually help day to day

If you’re sober-curious, early in recovery, or rebuilding after a slip, you’re not alone. Drop a comment with what’s working for you, and share this with someone who needs it.

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