Welcome back to Broke is Boring. And today we're gonna talk about how to raise kids who know what the real value of wealth means. As moms here, raising kids in, in these times. We really want to teach values to teach them that generosity is so important. And that freedom that they can get to because their adulthood is gonna look completely different from our adulthood.

And I really want to lean into not glorifying that grind culture that we've become so familiar with, I don't want my kids to, when I ask them what's new with them, them to just say, oh, I'm busy. Like I don't wanna keep glorifying being busy. Okay. I have a story with this. So my 10-year-old just applied to a writing contest and she was really proud of it.

But she wrote about a story about when we were in Barcelona this past year. For her 10th birthday and my husband and I try to teach our girls to live with an open hand, so instead of a closed fist. And what that means is when you have an open hand, you can give and receive.

And when you have a closed fist, you can't lose any money that's in your hand, but you also can't receive any. So we have this open hand concept. We've really like drilled it in, you know, really taught it a lot throughout our parenthood. As we've been parents, so we're in Barcelona, we have this banana from the cruise ship, and it's been in our bag all day and we're on the beach and it is like kind of brown and, you know, smashed a little.

But we got it that day. It's still good, but we're not gonna eat it. And we turn around and there's a guy digging through the trash behind us and we said, Hey, why don't we go give this banana to that guy? And. Our 10 year old's like, okay, I'll go do it. And so she did. So she went and gave the guy the banana and instead of us throwing this away, right, and he immediately said, Gracia, and then he started eating it.

He walked away and just opened it up and started eating it. So my daughter wrote about that, and she just wrote that what she learned was that she had to be brave because she was in a foreign country. She was talking to a stranger. You know, my husband went with her, of course, but. And then the other lesson she learned is that you, you don't have to speak the same language to be kind.

And then when we are reading it to you, your lesson was also that like it costs $0 to be kind. And she, so she added that to the, to the submission for the contest. And it was just like such a proud parenting moment that she, this was what she wanted to write about and reflect on for this contest. I love that.

And it just shows who she is as a kid and her heart and you as parents on full display. I'm really proud of her. I'm proud of her too. Thanks. Thanks girl. So like, what does, what does wealth mean to you? Like, again, we always go just toward the financial wealth because that's what we were always taught.

And then when I read that book, five types of Wealth that really hit home, like for me being. Together for lunch and dinner every single day. I know it's such a gift because probably 90% of American families are either not present for one or both of those meals, and I know a lot of families out there haven't had a sit down meal together in ages because they pack the evening schedule with.

Sports and practice and work and all these things that for them to just sit down and ask how each other's day was, is something that just doesn't really happen. So for me, that's like a huge time wealth thing that I, I really love when I ask someone how they are and they immediately say they're busy.

It's, it's a trigger for me because busy is a choice. And if you have a full calendar. You show it to me, I bet I can see the choices you've made to fill that calendar. To me, wealth is an empty calendar, an availability and an openness to receive new ideas. Like, oh, do you want to go to lunch? Sure, because I'm available.

And being able to be fully present parents with the girls. When we are working on our phones, they'll be like, oh, why are you on your phone? And we're like because it's two in the afternoon on a Tuesday. This is how we work. And most people have parents who are at work and then the kids are in school.

And also then you would go to an afterschool program and I wouldn't see you till this evening. And then we would probably take you to a, some sport. Sport, right? So like, your life is not, your life is different and you're welcome. And you're welcome. Another thing I, another thing I think is super important as Luca grows up is giving him that abundance without spoiling him. And he, as a 4-year-old, a normal 4-year-old is we're experiencing, you know, we're going into all these markets on our world crews, and he's just, I wanna buy that. I wanna buy that. I wanna buy that. And I just have to keep saying, no, no, no. Or I didn't bring money for that.

And he. Probably thinks that we have no money at all. But I'm trying to, you know, not lean into buying him anything he ever wants. 'cause of course he's not gonna play with it again tomorrow or ever again. And so I think that showing kids that power of delayed gratification is so important, especially in a culture that we have now where.

You know, prime deliver something on your doorstep in a day. We get groceries delivered with a click of a button on our phones. And I think that a lot of adults could probably benefit from some delayed gratification. 'cause that's how building a business is. Mm-hmm. Right? They say, I've been doing this for two weeks and it's not working yet.

And I'm like, so what are you gonna do? Close your doors? Like of course you have to keep working. And so I think teaching. My son that is, is super important to me. I have a couple stories with this. So the first one is, you know, my 10-year-old wants a laptop. And so we have told her, okay, that is a great goal.

Let's figure out how much they cost, which one you want, and then let's figure out what you can do to earn the money for that. I have money. You don't have money, so let's go figure out how to get you money because I'm not buying you that laptop. But that's a great goal. On the other hand, when we were in Cape Town this past on this past World Cruise, we were.

We went up to a line to get on this funicular to go up to Table Mountain in South Africa, and the line for the general admission ticket was 90 minutes long, and you could pay almost triple and completely skip the entire line and go straight to the top. And. My children just assumed we were getting into the 90 minute line and so we, they were prepping, they were gonna, the bathroom, they washed their hands, they came out and my husband and I told the girls, Hey, we decided we're doing the, the fast pass.

And they just could not believe it. And we tried to explain to them in that moment, sometimes money really does buy happiness and also your time. And so this was a perfect example of us saying, Hey, we're splurging and this is. An opportunity we have because we have money in this moment right now because I didn't buy you all those dumb magnets.

You, you can't get a t-shirt on the way out. But yes, we're gonna go skip that line. Everybody cool with that? And so when my kids were also Luca's age. You know, like those okay, you're sitting in line in Target and there are the grocery store and all the stuff that's along the all the gum. Yeah. All the, what are, like the stuff for the impulse buys, right?

Mm-hmm. So when my kids were Luca's age, of course, it's like at their eye level, there's toys, there's candy. I mean, they're just like living the dream, just playing with all of it, right? Mark and I told our daughters that none of that stuff was actually for sale. It was just advertised and they believed us like.

I maybe think they might still think that's true. You can't purchase that. Oh no, that's not for sale. Oh yeah, I know m and ms are great. No, it's not for sale. And it just like stopped the conversation. They just didn't know that they could buy those things. I just tell Luca I didn't, oh, I didn't bring my m and m money.

It's gonna work while it works and I'm gonna ride that wave as long as I can. Oh, I didn't bring my Mario kart money. Sorry. I only brought my. Swimsuit money for our trip. That's right. That's right. So until he understands, I'm gonna ride that way for sure. And, and I love creating these teachable moments along the way.

We are budgeting for toys too, and, and we talked about this in a previous episode, that gig culture around the house instead of just an allowance. So Luca has mapped out. All the toys he wants, he knows the exact cost and he's working little jobs and, you know, to, to get that paid for. And, and I really love that.

At the beginning you talked about grind culture, so I really wanna talk more about that. Our family, you know, since my husband and I quit our jobs seven years ago. We really wanted to, to quit our careers, to be with our, our daughters, and normalize rest, relaxation, and just the joy of being together. And it has just completely changed our lives.

We went from this very busy, very structured life to a, the most being the most time rich people. We know we are available, we are present, and if we are in a place. Doing something, it is only because we want to be there and living that intentional way is just such a cool thing to be able to show our kiddos.

I love not having to ask Luca how his day was. 'cause I was there, I was there for every moment of it. I don't need to play catch up in the evening. I was there for it and I love that. And, and kids are watching you. They watch our every single move. They watch how you nourish yourself, how you care for yourself, how you treat other people, how you react.

When other people treat you unfair and kindly unkind you. They're, they're determining their worth. Based on how you treat yourself and if you just are so burnt out from that grind, from working so hard to make other people happy and not yourself happy I think you're truly doing a disservice to your kids because they're gonna believe that they should be treated that way.

That okay, my mom was so busy her whole life and that's what made her successful. I'm gonna go do that too. So she's proud of me. Don't. Kids don't need to believe that success means burnout. You can be successful and still prioritize yourself and normalize rest and joy as I think Europeans have this down.

Oh, for sure. I mean, look at all those New Zealanders on our world crews, they. They understand that rest and enjoy. I think that's something that American culture has really forgotten about. And, and that, you know, living for the weakened kind of mentality where you just grind all week and then it's the TGIF, you know, I never wanna say that again in my life.

And, and we don't need to live that way. So if, if you're listening to this and you want an actionable step. Tonight, ask your kids what does being rich mean to you? And then share your version and talk about, share your version of what rich means to you, and then talk about what true wealth looks like in your family.

This is gonna be different for everybody, and once you have an answer to that, feel free to share it on Instagram and tag us at, at tag us at Broke is boring. Yeah, we'd love to hear it and, and create a life that you're proud of. I think that that's something most people haven't sat back and thought about or considered in 20, 50 years.

When, when you're, you know, reflecting back on your life, are you gonna be proud of being busy or are you gonna be proud of those moments that you created with your family? Tony Robbins has a quote that I have framed in my house, and it's because we talked about this with our daughters, and what does success mean to you?

What does being rich look like to you? What Tony Robbins said was, success is doing what you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want as much as you want. Boom. That's the end of the episode. Frame it and share it with those kiddos. Thanks guys. See you next time. Bye.