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How Being Right Actually Keeps You In The Wrong: What Now? for Alienated Parents
Manage episode 508352234 series 3415638
In episode 156, Shelby dives into the topic of comparative righteousness and explores how alienated parents can move past rigid right-wrong thinking. She categorizes four types of mindsets parents like us might fall into: the over analyzer, the justice seeker, the rigid role model, and the personal martyr. Shelby discusses the cognitive biases involved in these mindsets, such as all-or-nothing thinking, confirmation bias, naive realism, group bias, and the implications these have on our mental and emotional well-being. Emphasizing the importance of curiosity, compassion, and understanding, Shelby provides practical prompts and gentler phrasing alternatives for interactions with co-parents and children. She also delves into the roots of right-wrong thinking from both a neuroscientific and psychological perspective, encouraging listeners to adopt a more balanced and introspective approach in dealing with their experiences of parental alienation.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:29 Listener Review and Reflections
03:39 Black and White Thinking in Alienation
05:15 Understanding Moral Outrage
12:20 Comparative Righteousness and Cognitive Biases
14:53 The Over Analyzer Parent
21:41 The Justice Seeker Parent
30:20 The Rigid Role Model Parent
36:35 The Personal Martyr Parent
44:33 Roots of Right vs. Wrong Mindset
45:43 Understanding the Cycle of Anger and Shame
49:49 The Ego's Role in Conflict
53:40 Client Case Study: Overcoming Victim Mentality
01:02:04 Shifting Perspectives: From Rigid Judgments to Compassion
01:12:41 Practical Communication Strategies
01:21:39 Final Thoughts and Reflection Questions
161 episodes
Manage episode 508352234 series 3415638
In episode 156, Shelby dives into the topic of comparative righteousness and explores how alienated parents can move past rigid right-wrong thinking. She categorizes four types of mindsets parents like us might fall into: the over analyzer, the justice seeker, the rigid role model, and the personal martyr. Shelby discusses the cognitive biases involved in these mindsets, such as all-or-nothing thinking, confirmation bias, naive realism, group bias, and the implications these have on our mental and emotional well-being. Emphasizing the importance of curiosity, compassion, and understanding, Shelby provides practical prompts and gentler phrasing alternatives for interactions with co-parents and children. She also delves into the roots of right-wrong thinking from both a neuroscientific and psychological perspective, encouraging listeners to adopt a more balanced and introspective approach in dealing with their experiences of parental alienation.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:29 Listener Review and Reflections
03:39 Black and White Thinking in Alienation
05:15 Understanding Moral Outrage
12:20 Comparative Righteousness and Cognitive Biases
14:53 The Over Analyzer Parent
21:41 The Justice Seeker Parent
30:20 The Rigid Role Model Parent
36:35 The Personal Martyr Parent
44:33 Roots of Right vs. Wrong Mindset
45:43 Understanding the Cycle of Anger and Shame
49:49 The Ego's Role in Conflict
53:40 Client Case Study: Overcoming Victim Mentality
01:02:04 Shifting Perspectives: From Rigid Judgments to Compassion
01:12:41 Practical Communication Strategies
01:21:39 Final Thoughts and Reflection Questions
161 episodes
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