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154. Contempt After Betrayal: The Silent Killer of Connection

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Manage episode 504171707 series 3409760
Content provided by Luke Shillings. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Luke Shillings or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Contempt is one of the most corrosive emotions in any relationship, and after betrayal, it shows up on both sides. The betrayed partner may see the unfaithful as beneath respect. The unfaithful partner may grow contemptuous of how long healing takes. Either way, contempt is the silent killer of connection, intimacy, and empathy.

In this episode, Luke explores what contempt really is, how it differs from resentment, why it so often takes root after infidelity, and why it makes reconciliation almost impossible if left unaddressed. You’ll also hear why contempt usually requires outside help to shift, and what it takes to eradicate it before it destroys the possibility of repair.

Key Takeaways

  • Resentment says “I’m hurt.” Contempt says “You’re beneath me.” The difference matters.
  • Betrayed partners often fall into contempt when painful thoughts harden into a permanent narrative.
  • Unfaithful partners may develop contempt out of shame and frustration when healing takes longer than they want.
  • Contempt blinds us to itself, which is why outside support is often essential for change.
  • Intimacy, empathy, and repair can’t survive contempt, it must be eradicated, not managed.

Connect with Luke:

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

  continue reading

157 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 504171707 series 3409760
Content provided by Luke Shillings. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Luke Shillings or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://podcastplayer.com/legal.

Contempt is one of the most corrosive emotions in any relationship, and after betrayal, it shows up on both sides. The betrayed partner may see the unfaithful as beneath respect. The unfaithful partner may grow contemptuous of how long healing takes. Either way, contempt is the silent killer of connection, intimacy, and empathy.

In this episode, Luke explores what contempt really is, how it differs from resentment, why it so often takes root after infidelity, and why it makes reconciliation almost impossible if left unaddressed. You’ll also hear why contempt usually requires outside help to shift, and what it takes to eradicate it before it destroys the possibility of repair.

Key Takeaways

  • Resentment says “I’m hurt.” Contempt says “You’re beneath me.” The difference matters.
  • Betrayed partners often fall into contempt when painful thoughts harden into a permanent narrative.
  • Unfaithful partners may develop contempt out of shame and frustration when healing takes longer than they want.
  • Contempt blinds us to itself, which is why outside support is often essential for change.
  • Intimacy, empathy, and repair can’t survive contempt, it must be eradicated, not managed.

Connect with Luke:

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

  continue reading

157 episodes

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