I asked an AI to calculate my statistical probability of surviving my life.

It said: 1 in 8.3 billion.

Essentially impossible.

Childhood sexual abuse. At 5, I attempted to murder my mother's rapist. AIDS epidemic San Francisco. Severe alcoholism. Meth. Coke. Sex. Brother murdered. Strangled twice. 28 deaths witnessed by age 29.

And that was just the beginning.

I shouldn't be here.

But I am.

I am now 61.

I’ve seen. Some shit.

A spiritual memoir from a gay man who survived impossible odds. 1 in 8.3 billion.

I started writing a book about surviving.

I ended up documenting an awakening — in real-time.

This is about how your past holds layers of meaning you haven’t tuned into yet. About how love can travel backward through time.

This is the excavation of an impossible life.

19 episodes. Press Play.

Episode 18 changes everything.

- Those who know will know -

Content warnings: This podcast contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, addiction, violence, death, and trauma. It is also full of profound love, transformation, and hope. Listener discretion advised.