Best Paul Colaianni Podcasts (2025)

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The Cycle of Sexual Coercion 9:15

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18m ago9:15

9:15

Sexual coercion is one of the most misunderstood and silenced forms of abuse. It’s not seduction. It’s not miscommunication. It’s pressure, guilt, manipulation, and punishment used to get sex when you’ve already said no, shown hesitation, or felt unsafe. It’s not about intimacy—it’s about power and control. This is a bonus episode from Unhooked—my …

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The intense pain, longing, and pining over the one who left 35:17

3d ago35:17

35:17

If you’re struggling with the feeling of emptiness after a breakup or loss, is it really about them, or something deeper within you? I’ll share my own experiences with heartbreak and loneliness, and why understanding our emotional dependencies might just be the key to healing and building healthier relationships.…

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Why you may not be ready to call it abuse when it is abuse 25:44

7d ago25:44

25:44

The emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be hard to define. How long must abusive behavior go on before actually admit that what's really happening is abuse?By Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

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The “Nice” Version Isn’t Proof They’ve Changed 15:09

7d ago15:09

15:09

They’re kind again… so does that mean they’ve changed? In this episode, we unpack why the “nice” version is part of the abuse cycle — and how to tell the difference between real change and a calculated reset. One of the most confusing parts of an emotionally abusive relationship is when the cruelty suddenly stops — and the “nice” version of the per…

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Waiting and waiting for others to change 35:37

10d ago35:37

35:37

How long will you wait for someone to make changes to treat you better? At what point do you decide enough is enough and move on without them in your life? And is there anything you can do if change seems impossible?By Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

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From Love Bombing to Losing Myself — and Finding My Way Back 57:11

15d ago57:11

57:11

n this raw and validating conversation, fitness expert and former pro athlete Holly Rilinger shares her first public telling of the emotional abuse she endured inside a long-term relationship that looked perfect on the outside. Holly opens up about how the relationship began with admiration and love bombing, then slowly eroded her confidence, ident…

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10 Life lessons that will help you in your pursuit of happiness 54:24

17d ago54:24

54:24

A list of ten life lessons to help you achieve a happier, more fulfilling life... perhaps. Some lessons are scary to implement. Some are a must if you find that you can never quite achieve fulfillment.By Paul Colaianni

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Do you end the relationship because they won't? 31:14

20d ago31:14

31:14

How do you know when it’s time to instigate a split? If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling oppressed and defeated, and they refuse to change, and they also don't want to end the relationship, then what?By Paul Colaianni

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Am I Overreacting? 12:44

22d ago12:44

12:44

Most survivors don’t start by asking “Is this abuse?” They ask “Why do I feel crazy?” This episode dives deep into the emotional confusion that defines so many abusive dynamics—especially when gaslighting, blame-shifting, and chronic invalidation are at play. If you’ve ever found yourself apologizing after being hurt, doubting your memory, or shrin…

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How do I know when I'm ready to love again? 45:05

25d ago45:05

45:05

How do you know when your heart is ready to embrace love again after weathering the storm of a toxic relationship? What should you be prepared for at the start of a new relationship? I talk about that and the draining effects of toxic relationships in this episode.By Paul Colaianni

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When It Was Never About Change: Understanding the Psychology Behind Cluster B Abuse 57:53

29d ago57:53

57:53

Dr. Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the most confusing and painful parts of surviving a relationship with someone who has Cluster B traits, including narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders. We explore: The neurological and psychological reasons why people with Cluster B disorders don’t change Why survivors feel …

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The giant waste of time you spent with someone or someone spent with you 40:35

1M ago40:35

40:35

If you’ve ever felt like you’re trapped in a time loop of bad relationships or self-destructive patterns, you’re not alone. Why do we sometimes stay in situations that don’t serve us? And were those situations a huge waste of time or something else?By Paul Colaianni

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Breaking the Trauma Bond 13:45

1M ago13:45

13:45

I’m sharing one of the most requested and emotionally charged topics: the trauma bond. This episode is part of my private podcast series Unhooked: Mapping the Cycle of Abuse, and I felt it was important to bring it here too—for anyone who’s stuck in the pain, confusion, or shame of staying in a relationship they know is harming them. We explore why…

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The breadcrumbing of relationships' past 18:19

1M ago18:19

18:19

Breadcrumbing can be a manipulative way to keep someone in your mind so that you can't fully move forward, keeping you as a pawn in another person's game. In this episode, a person wrote to me talking about their ex, a 13-year breadcrumber!By Paul Colaianni

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The formula for making hard decisions 38:57

1M ago38:57

38:57

Do I change my career? Do I move? Do I wait? If I change, will I be happy or sad? Never let life's hard decisions stop you from making decisions that are right for you?By Paul Colaianni

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Healing a Trauma Bond: The Power You Still Have 17:51

1M ago17:51

17:51

Trauma Bonding—a term that’s often misunderstood and sometimes avoided because naming it means facing the abuse beneath it. In this episode, I break down what a trauma bond is (and isn’t), why it’s more than “shared trauma,” and how it functions as an emotional and physical addiction. Then, we talk about something that might feel uncomfortable: the…

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The language patterns of the abusive person 24:55

1M ago24:55

24:55

The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language patterns will help you understand on which side of the fence you're on.By Paul Colaianni

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What's the real reason you keep getting into "those" kinds of relationships? 1:07:21

2M ago1:07:21

1:07:21

Sure, some partners are toxic or dysfunctional. But what if they're not that at all but just not that bright? What if you are trying to squeeze something out of a partner that simply doesn't exist? Does that make automatic incompatibility? I go through deep exploration of that in today's episode.By Paul Colaianni

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Whose Shame Are You Carrying? How Abusers Offload Pain to Avoid Accountability 26:38

2M ago26:38

26:38

This episode explores one of the most insidious aspects of emotional abuse: shame offloading. When someone can’t face their own emotional wounds—whether it’s failure, inadequacy, or internal contradictions—they often project that pain onto the person closest to them. You become the emotional scapegoat, the one who’s blamed, punished, or humiliated—…

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Did a pedophile groom her daughter into marriage? 32:32

2M ago32:32

32:32

This episode is about a pedophile grooming a woman's daughter. If you're a parent who listens with their child(ren), I wanted you to be aware of this before you played the show. There are no graphic details, but be aware that your children may ask questions if they listen with you.By Paul Colaianni

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Why Abusers Believe Their Own Lies with Paul Colaianni 1:11:54

2M ago1:11:54

1:11:54

Why do emotionally abusive people double down on false narratives, deny reality, and convince themselves they’re the victim—even when they’re causing visible harm? I'm joined by Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts and creator of The Healed Being program, one of the few resources for people who have been emotion…

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Can you ever go back to who you were? 26:36

2M ago26:36

26:36

In abusive relationships it might be difficult or even impossible to discern which parts of yourself are truly you and which are shaped by the abuse. Let's talk about what it takes to start building or rebuilding your identity.

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The fears and insecurities that push away those who get too close 40:04

2M ago40:04

40:04

If you get close to someone, they see the most vulnerable, deeper part of you. That can be a scary thing, especially if you've been hurt before. And sometimes we feel the need to protect ourself from such scary things.By Paul Colaianni

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When You’re Not Allowed to Be Human: A Journal Entry from Inside the Cycle of Abuse 20:09

2M ago20:09

20:09

This episode takes you inside the lived experience of emotional abuse. The story captures how emotional dysregulation, boundary violations, and false repair cycles can slowly erode a person’s sense of self. We discuss how the classic cycle of abuse—tension, explosion, and reconciliation—can unfold in covert ways, leaving the survivor walking on egg…

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Are you giving away your power? 31:03

2M ago31:03

31:03

Some people seem to have a toxic gravitational pull that affects everyone around them. And whether you're with them or not, they are either on your mind or in your space. Getting away from their influence can feel impossible.By Paul Colaianni

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Never trust someone who wants to change who you are 18:25

2M ago18:25

18:25

You walk into an emotionally abusive relationship as one person, but where do you go after you're in one for a while? Is the person you're with trying to change you into someone you're not?By Paul Colaianni

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The Abuse That Didn’t Look Like Abuse 11:17

2M ago11:17

11:17

There’s a version of abuse that presents as calm and reasonable. It doesn’t look chaotic, and at first, it doesn’t even feel that way. It feels quiet and measured. It sounds like someone who wants to work through things. Someone who seems thoughtful and emotionally attuned. Under the surface, there’s control, pressure, and a constant pull to make y…

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The way we tell others to go away may make them stay 44:20

3M ago44:20

44:20

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep toxic people out of your life or if you’re questioning the role of personal boundaries in shaping your reality, this episode is for you. I share insights on why the words you choose matter, how to express your boundaries clearly, and why some relationships require you to be as steadfast as a lighthouse in a storm…

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The Manipulation I Didn’t See—Until I Did 22:43

3M ago22:43

22:43

In this episode, I share the story that shaped everything: how I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship, how I stayed, and how I finally saw it for what it was. This is the manipulation I didn’t see—until I did. I talk about the slow unraveling of my reality, the gaslighting, the shame, the trauma bond, and the hope that kept me stuck. I e…

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The love of my life is the abuser in my life 40:36

3M ago40:36

40:36

Love can feel like a double-edged sword, cutting deep despite the tender moments. Or is that really love? Caring and kindness mixed with toxic, controlling behaviors create a dangerous emotional cocktail of bonding and trauma.By Paul Colaianni

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The wife who seems unfazed by her husband's family health 43:44

3M ago43:44

43:44

If your partner seems uninterested in your family, does that signal a deeper issue? I’ll dive into this area with a specific question from an upset husband wanting to wrap his head around the realization that his wife doesn't seem at all interested in his family's health situation.By Paul Colaianni

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Mapping Your Specific Cycle of Abuse 35:30

3M ago35:30

35:30

If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you. In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally abusive relationships—not as a clean four-part theory, but as a lived, messy, repetitive trap that keeps surviv…

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From dark to light - the path to courage 38:02

3M ago38:02

38:02

The path to empowerment sometimes involves massive, scary steps that might just change you... for the better. What it takes is courage. Where can you find the courage? It's closer than you think.By Paul Colaianni

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Can a Narcissist Actually Change? 13:31

3M ago13:31

13:31

This is one of the most common—and most heartbreaking—questions I hear: Can a narcissist change? In this episode of You Are Not Crazy, I’m walking you through the reality behind that question. The short answer? Maybe—but almost never. Real change requires emotional accountability, humility, and deep psychological work… and most narcissists aren’t w…

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Can someone change even after they've done something terrible to you? 42:29

3M ago42:29

42:29

They did the worst thing imaginable and now want you to stay in their life. Is it possible they can change? Should you give them a chance?By Paul Colaianni

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Every opportunity offers a choice to stay the same or change forever 38:17

3M ago38:17

38:17

Are you walking around with unresolved feelings from your past? There are many opportunities that come our way that give us a chance to move forward without being weighed down by our past.By Paul Colaianni