Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.
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Renee Swanson Podcasts
Erica Glessing: Transforming Stories, Transforming Lives Erica Glessing believes that when you tell your story, you change the world. A third generation book publisher and CEO of Happy Publishing LLC, Erica has published more than 225 authors to #1 bestseller. She works with would-be authors on writing; would be published-authors on publishing, and would-be bestselling authors on bestselling and marketing campaigns. Join Erica Glessing and discover how the magic of storytelling can transform ...
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Scottish writer who sits down with people from Entertainment business through to the authors themselves to discuss books, fantasy world and what their lives are really like.
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The Mulberry Lane Show is a music, arts, & lifestyle talk radio show by 3 sisters in a band- Rachel, Bo, & Allie Kat. When you tune in, you'll find what you have in common with a Grammy winning rock star or an Emmy winning actress. You’ll hear the philosophies, creative processes, tips, inspirations, troubles and triumphs of those pursuing their dreams. We like to break down walls. We love creating a comfy environment so artists feel safe revealing their true selves. And maybe you'll feel yo ...
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How to Handle Triangulation: Protecting You and Your Children
21:45
21:45
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21:45Triangulation doesn’t stop just because you see it. In fact, once you recognize the pattern, the covert narcissist often pushes harder, twisting words, controlling the story, and pulling others into the tension. In this episode, Renee walks you through how to handle triangulation in every stage of the journey: While you’re still in the relationship…
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Covert Narcissism Unmasked: Sarma Melngailis on Manipulation, Awakening, and Resilience
27:50
27:50
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27:50In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarma Melngailis, we dive into the turning point—the awakening after covert narcissistic abuse. Sarma shares the moment she began to see the manipulation clearly, how she learned to gray rock and set boundaries, and what it means to find freedom after years of psychological control. Together, we unpack the neurobio…
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Covert Narcissist Triangulation: How They Control the Narrative and Divide Relationships
16:45
16:45
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16:45Triangulation is one of the covert narcissist’s most insidious tools — because it’s quiet, invisible, and devastating. It’s how they control the narrative, twist communication, and turn the people you love against each other — all while pretending to be the calm, reasonable “peacekeeper.” In this episode, Renee shares two powerful stories that reve…
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From “Bad Vegan” to Truth Teller: Sarma Melngailis on Covert Narcissistic Abuse and Self-Discovery
30:39
30:39
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30:39Sarma Melngailis—best known from the Netflix docuseries Bad Vegan—joins me to reveal the story the headlines never told. In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Sarma opens up about covert narcissistic abuse, repeated manipulation, and the long road of self-discovery that followed. We explore how empathy, idealism, and even neurodivergence …
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When You Snap: The Breaking Point After Covert Narcissistic Abuse
21:12
21:12
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21:12You didn’t just wake up one day and decide to slap them. That moment — the one that now fills you with shame and self-blame — didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s been building for a long time. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores what happens when years of emotional invalidation, manipulation, and gaslighting finally push you past your breaking poi…
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When Survivors Gather: The Power of Shared Stories and Safe Spaces After Covert Narcissistic Abuse
17:47
17:47
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17:47What happens when survivors of covert narcissistic abuse come together in one safe space? At our recent CNG retreat, fifteen women gathered with fear, doubt, hope, and courage. Some were terrified to share their stories, afraid of judgment or dismissal. Others were overflowing with relief at finally being heard. In this episode, I reflect on the le…
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Why Being Yourself Feels Dangerous with a Covert Narcissist
24:54
24:54
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24:54Have you ever wondered why just being yourself feels like walking through a minefield with a covert narcissist? Why your joy, your truth, your boundaries, even your growth seem to set off explosions? In this episode, we unpack exactly why the covert narcissist sees you as a threat. From your truth that cracks their carefully crafted image, to your …
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Bird in a Cage, Part 2: Finding Freedom After Covert Narcissistic Abuse
26:26
26:26
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26:26In Part 2 of my conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we go deeper into the journey of leaving—and staying gone—from covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn opens up about the staggering reality that it takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship before it finally sticks, and why so many survivors find themselves pulled …
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Pull Back Your Supply: How to Test the True Nature of a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist
19:34
19:34
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19:34What happens when you stop pouring all your energy into someone else and start investing it back into yourself? In a healthy relationship, your self-care is welcomed and even celebrated. Your partner enjoys the space to recharge too, and both of you come back stronger. But in a relationship with a covert narcissist, pulling back your supply—the con…
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Bird in a Cage: Caryn Dixon’s Journey Out of Covert Narcissistic Abuse (Part 1)
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25:06In this first half of my two-part conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we explore the story behind her new EP Bird in a Cage—a raw and vulnerable collection of songs written out of her experience of covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn shares how life inside the “perfect couple” image felt more like a shrinking cage, one that left her hidin…
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Mary’s Story: A Celebration of Life and the Hidden Toll of Covert Narcissism
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15:40In today’s episode, I step away from the usual format to share something deeply personal and profoundly important. This is a tribute—a celebration of life—for a member of our community whose story ended too soon. For her privacy, I will call her Mary. Mary’s life was marked by decades of devotion, sacrifice, and quiet endurance. Though her family d…
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Leaving a Covert Narcissist: The 3 Stages of Physical, Emotional, and Mental Freedom
24:38
24:38
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24:38Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single moment of walking out the door—it’s a layered process that unfolds in stages. In this episode, I explore the three different ways survivors leave: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In physically abusive relationships, your body often leaves first for safety, while your heart and mind lag behind. In em…
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The Erica Glessing Show Feat. Bettina Madini #759
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10:01How exciting to interview artist and designer Bettina Madini! Her paintings are inspirational. Today is extra special due to the launch of Erica and Bettina's new book: Starseeds: Your Soul's Journey. You can buy the book now! https://amzn.to/46s0dV8 Starseeds: Your Soul's Journeyis a breathtaking collection of stories, reflections, and transmissio…
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Endless Attempts, Zero Progress: Can a Covert Narcissist Ever Wake Up?
19:52
19:52
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19:52You’ve researched. You’ve reasoned. You’ve shown empathy. You’ve tried again and again to help them see the truth—about their behavior, the damage, the disconnection. But nothing changes. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores one of the most painful patterns survivors of covert narcissistic abuse face: the endless attempts to help, to explain, to…
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Covert Narcissism: It’s Not What They Said, It’s How They Said It
17:42
17:42
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17:42Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head, wondering if you misunderstood what was said—or if you were being manipulated? In relationships with covert narcissists, it’s rarely the words themselves that do the most damage. It’s the intent, the tone, and the unspoken energy behind them. In this episode, we explore how the same words can hold…
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Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take
23:22
23:22
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23:22If Covert Narcissism 101 exposed the basics, get ready for the advanced curriculum. This is Part Two of our two-part series — and today, we’re tackling Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take. In this sarcastic “classroom lecture,” we break down the advanced strategies covert narcissists seem to master: weaponizing forgetfuln…
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Covert Narcissism 101: The Textbook They All Seem to Have Read
16:48
16:48
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16:48Have you ever noticed that covert narcissists all seem to follow the exact same script? It’s as if they sat in the same classroom, took the same notes, and memorized the same textbook. In this episode — Part One of a two-part series — we crack open that mysterious manual: Covert Narcissism 101. From the art of the half-apology, to gaslighting, sile…
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The Gaping Hole Where Reconciliation Should Be: Life Without Repair in a Covert Narcissistic Relationship
21:45
21:45
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21:45One of the most painful realities of living with a covert narcissist is the absence of reconciliation. Conflicts don’t get repaired. Apologies are either nonexistent or so hollow they echo in your chest. You’re left holding the pieces of a conflict, waiting for your partner to help put them back together—only to realize they’ve already walked away,…
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Crush Your Divorce, Protect Your Peace: A Conversation with Attorney & Author Bree Sullivan-Howell
39:11
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39:11Divorcing a covert narcissist is not just about paperwork—it’s about survival. Today on the Covert Narcissism Podcast, I sit down with Bree Sullivan-Howell, a seasoned family law attorney with over two decades of experience and the author of Crush Your Divorce and Keep Your Faith and Crush Your Comeback. Bree brings both practical wisdom from the c…
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Forever Young, Forever Stuck: The Peter Pan World of Covert Narcissists
27:22
27:22
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27:22When you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it can feel like living in Never Never Land—a place where no one grows up, nothing ever gets resolved, and you’re left carrying all the weight. At first, their charm feels like magic. They’re playful, adventurous, fun. But when real life shows up—accountability, conflict, emotional depth—they …
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Your Rights When With a Covert Narcissist
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21:01
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21:01“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” Now that I have shown how I will t…
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I Didn’t Know the Words But I Knew the Feeling: Making Sense of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
22:42
22:42
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22:42You don’t have to know the terminology to know when something feels wrong. Long before I knew the term gaslighting, I knew the dizzying confusion of hearing “I never said that” about something I remembered clearly. Before I’d ever heard of circular conversations, I knew the frustration of talking in circles until I was the one apologizing. Before I…
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The Real Reason the Covert Narcissist Still Isn’t Changing: Understanding Guilt vs. Shame
28:48
28:48
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28:48They’ve stopped yelling. They’re going to therapy. They’re more “attentive.” So why does it still feel like nothing’s changed? In this final episode of our 4-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, we dive into one of the most misunderstood dynamics in narcissistic relationships: the collapse of guilt into shame—and how it sabotages real change. We …
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When Your Adult Child Takes Their Side: Surviving the Second Betrayal of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
24:45
24:45
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24:45When the Child You Protected Believes the Narcissist It’s a betrayal that cuts deeper than most people can understand—when your adult child, the one you protected for years, turns on you and takes the side of the covert narcissist. If you’re walking through this devastating experience, you are not alone. I’m opening a small, supportive Zoom coachin…
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Beneath the Apology: Shame, Image, and the Illusion of Empathy with Dr. Anthony Mazzella
32:59
32:59
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32:59What if that apology wasn’t about you at all? What if the moment that looked like remorse was really a carefully constructed move to restore a fractured image? In this powerful continuation of our series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella from The Narcissism Decoder podcast, we dive beneath the surface of “I’m sorry” to explore what’s really going on: the t…
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Baiting Tactics of Covert Narcissists: Signs, Examples, and How to Respond
19:38
19:38
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19:38Baiting is one of the most maddening—and most misunderstood—tactics used by covert narcissists. It’s the emotional equivalent of poking you with a stick just to watch you react, then sitting back and saying, “Wow… look how angry you are.” In this episode, we unpack exactly how covert narcissists bait you into emotional reactions—and why they benefi…
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Guilt vs Shame: The Emotional Crossroads That Defines Healing, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella
35:25
35:25
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35:25Part two of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the guilt you carry… isn’t actually guilt at all? In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Renee and Dr. Anthony Mazzella dive into the subtle but life-changing difference between guilt and shame—and wh…
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You’re Always the Problem: The Impossible Reality of Life with a Covert Narcissist
24:26
24:26
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24:26With a covert narcissist, the outcome is always the same: you’re the problem. No matter how gently you speak, how carefully you tread, or how hard you try—somehow, it always comes back to you. That’s not bad communication. That’s emotional abuse wrapped in manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting. In this episode, we walk through a choose-your-own-adve…
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Shame vs Self: The Invisible Wound Behind Narcissistic Traits, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella
34:43
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34:43Part one of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the root of so much emotional pain, self-sabotage, and confusion isn’t who you are—but what you've carried? In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, Renee is joined by Dr. Anthony Mazzella to …
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Leaving Doesn’t Start with a Go Bag: Why Leaving a Covert Narcissist Takes Time
22:25
22:25
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22:25Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single event—it’s a process. In this episode, we break down the myth of the dramatic midnight escape and explore the emotional, psychological, and logistical realities that make leaving so complex. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?” or been judged by others for how long it’s taken to get …
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The Covert Narcissist is Just Enough: Why You Stayed So Long
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20:11Why do so many people stay in relationships with covert narcissists for years—sometimes decades? This episode is a raw, honest, and deeply validating exploration of the emotional tug-of-war that keeps survivors stuck in toxic dynamics. I open up about my own 20+ year marriage to a covert narcissist—why I stayed, why I didn’t see it sooner, and why …
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Keeping the Peace... at What Cost? How Covert Narcissists Make Everyone Pay for Their Unhappiness
21:17
21:17
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21:17When you're in a relationship with a covert narcissist, peace is often a performance—maintained at the expense of your own emotional well-being. This episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how covert narcissists condition those around them to bend, sacrifice, and stay silent just to avoid upsetting them. From partners who tell their kids…
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Rent Free in My Head: How Covert Narcissists Keep Controlling You After You Leave
22:35
22:35
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22:35You left. You blocked them. You did everything you were “supposed” to do to break free from the covert narcissist in your life. But somehow… they’re still there. In your thoughts. In your inner dialogue. In the way you second-guess yourself when no one’s even around. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists continue to live “rent free” in…
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Implode or Explode: How Covert Narcissists React When You Call Them Out
21:54
21:54
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21:54What happens when you finally speak the truth to a covert narcissist? Whether you’re pointing out a small forgotten chore or confronting them about a huge betrayal, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two most common narcissistic reactions to being called out: the emotional implosio…
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Is This Really Healing… or Just Behavior Management? The Dry Drunk Parallel in Covert Narcissistic Abuse
21:17
21:17
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21:17When the yelling stops, the lies fade, and the manipulative games come to a halt… does it mean they are getting better? In this episode, we explore the confusing and disorienting experience of living with someone who has changed their behaviors, but hasn’t done the real emotional work underneath. Drawing a parallel with the concept of a "dry drunk,…
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But Do You Really Care: How Covert Narcissists Fake Empathy
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18:33Empathy — we all think we know what it means, until we’re in a relationship where it’s missing. Covert narcissists are often skilled at sounding emotionally intelligent. They can say the right words, mirror emotional language, and even cry on cue — but something still feels off. That’s because what they offer isn’t real empathy; it’s a performance.…
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When Addiction, Trauma, and Narcissistic Traits Collide: A Candid Talk with Todd Rennebohm
31:58
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31:58Are they a covert narcissist or an alcoholic? What if the alcohol goes away? Does this get better? In this candid and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Todd Rennebohm, host of Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, to explore the complex intersection of addiction, trauma, emotional dysregulation, and misunderstood behaviors. Todd opens up abou…
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The Erica Glessing Show Podcast #757 Feat. Dr. Rebecca Sanders "True Healing is Not About Being Fixed"
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9:07In this episode, Erica Glessing welcomes the radiant and intuitive Dr. Rebecca Sanders, a holistic chiropractor based in the magical town of Ojai, California — a place known for its wildflowers, healing hot springs, and what many call a “feminine vortex” of creative, nurturing energy. Dr. Sanders shares how she blends body-based care with emotional…
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The Birthday That Broke You: Why Covert Narcissists Ruin Special Occasions
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18:54You planned everything perfectly — the dinner, the outfit, the guest list. But somehow, your birthday still ended in silence. Or tears. Or walking on eggshells. If you’ve ever felt like your special moments were stolen — you’re not alone. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists sabotage holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and even simple…
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What’s in Your Basement? How Childhood Trauma Sabotages Adult Relationships
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14:51We all live on the "main floor" of our emotional house—handling relationships, responsibilities, and day-to-day life. But when things break down, the real answers are often hidden in the basement: our childhood. In this episode, I unpack how unresolved childhood trauma silently shapes the way we love, react, and connect as adults. You'll learn why …
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The Erica Glessing Show Podcast #756 Feat. Tanishka "Creativity, the Moon & Fearless Expression"
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21:50Welcome to today’s soulful episode where we dive deep into the magic of moon cycles, creative flow, and fearless feminine expression. Our radiant guest is Tanishka the Moon Woman, a global spiritual teacher, author, and guide for women attuning to their inner rhythms. Currently in the UK after an adventurous solo van trip from Morocco through Spain…
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How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids Amidst Covert Narcissistic Abuse
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23:53How do you raise emotionally grounded, self-aware children when you're navigating the chaos and confusion of covert narcissistic abuse — or healing from it yourself? In this powerful episode, we explore what it means to parent with intention, clarity, and compassion in the aftermath of narcissistic harm. Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissis…
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Nature versus Nurture: Where Did All This Narcissism Come From?
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18:49Are narcissists born or made? In this foundational episode, we unpack the complex roots of narcissism through the lens of both nature and nurture. We explore how temperament, early childhood environment, and relational trauma interact to shape narcissistic behaviors — and why it’s not always a direct path. You’ll learn: How biological traits like s…
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Fix-It Mode and the Trauma Bond: When Love Becomes Survival
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23:43Why is it so hard to leave — even when you know the relationship is toxic? In this powerful episode, we expose the hidden truth behind trauma bonding with a covert narcissist. It’s not just emotional confusion — it’s chemical addiction. You’re not addicted to the person; you’re addicted to the highs, the relief, the dopamine rush that follows emoti…
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The Erica Glessing Show Podcast #755 Feat. Maria Teresa Pratico-Swanson "Life is Light"
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16:02In this soul-nourishing episode, host Erica Glessing welcomes galactic healer and shamanic practitioner Maria Teresa Pratico-Swanson for a powerful and heart-expanding conversation on healing, vibration, and spiritual awakening. Broadcasting from sunny Port Saint Lucie, Florida, Maria Teresa shares her incredible personal journey—one that spans tra…
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Trying Too Hard to Fix It: When Enough Finally Becomes Enough
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13:20If you’ve been bending over backwards trying to fix a relationship that keeps breaking you… this episode is for you. Today, I’m sharing a personal story about the moment I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Can you honestly say you’ve done everything you know to do?” That one question made me face the truth — not about the relation…
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Dreading the Weekend: The Backwards Reality of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
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22:33If you find yourself dreading the weekend and breathing easier on Monday mornings, you might be living in the upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse. In this powerful episode, we explore what it’s like to live with a covert narcissist whose presence turns weekends into emotional minefields. While others relax and recharge, you're managing m…
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The Erica Glessing Show #754 Feat. Avery Virginia "Intuition as a Catalyst for Change"
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8:41✨ Welcome to this illuminating episode where host Erica Glessing welcomes the radiant intuitive, Avery Virginia. Together, they explore the real meaning of intuition, how to develop it, and why it matters in everyday life. Avery shares personal stories of trusting her inner guidance, how quieting the analytical mind unlocks deeper wisdom, and why i…
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The Erica Glessing Show Podcast #753 Feat. Angela Legh "Unleashing Supressed Expression with Inspirational Fairy Tales"
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23:12Author Angela Legh (pronounced Lee) shares how a devastating fire that took everything ended up inspiring a series of fairy tales designed to awaken expression and emotional healing! In this heartwarming episode of The Erica Glessing Show, host Erica Glessing welcomes inspirational children's author Angela Legh to discuss her magical Bella Santini …
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Are They a Covert Narcissist or Just a Jerk? How to Tell the Difference
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18:10Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk? That’s one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passi…
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