One Voice... Raw. Real. Fiercely Autistic. johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com
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Johnny Profane (Knapp Âû Podcasts
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Family, School, Work? They created this autistic bad@$$.
3:13
3:13
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Where does my autistic rage come from? Not from being born wrong. From being raised, schooled, mocked, trained, therapped, and medicated into it. This is about the source. The ones who created what they blamed us for. No apologies, no redemption arc—just the accusation. Content note: Strong language, family trauma, discussion of rage & medical cons…
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Like Some Angel with a Dislocated Shoulder: Song for My Autistic Son
1:55
1:55
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1:55
A father’s reflection on parental regret, missed connections, and what it means to forget the life you didn’t live. Raw spoken word + visual art. No hidden meanings. No inspiration. Just what it’s like 👉More poetry: “Live Autistic Truth” playlist (link below) 👉 Full collection: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” (link below) 👉 Transcript…
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Family is complex for me. Autistic + ADHD... but Shameless.
1:56
1:56
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1:56
A spoken word piece about family wounds, estrangement, and choosing to live unapologetically. From Elvis dying on Mount Marcy to stalking Death Valley stars—this is what shameless looks like when you stop trying to be the son they ordered. 👉 Gift Season Special: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i Raw poetry & art e…
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Trump Brings Gaza War Crimes Home to US Autistics
10:35
10:35
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10:35
Trump brings Gaza war crimes home to US autistics. Using starvation to subjugate people is a war crime, whether at the point of a gun or denying SNAP benefits. November 1st, SNAP halted. Healthcare funding threatened. Social Security could vanish, Trump warns. 42 million Americans face losing food assistance. Not someday—right now. A nation that us…
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LIVESTREAM: Trump Brings Gaza War Crimes Home to US Autistics
14:39
14:39
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14:39
Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. Show notes and transcript up tomorrow, 11/3. #AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click to receive new posts… free. To support my work, please consider a paid subscription. Notes, sources, and further reading not comprehensiv…
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My Autism? Failing Upward to Burn Out? Or Succeeding Downward to...
1:42
1:42
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1:42
My autism? Failing upward toward collapse, succeeding downward toward joy? What if you weren't born to produce anything? 👉 New Chapbook: "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head" → https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY 👉 Start Here: Live Autistic Truth playlist → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgBbPyJUGJw&…
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RFKjr, Tylenol... Autism? Facts Ain't the Point
9:32
9:32
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9:32
RFK Jr.’s autism claims aren’t about helping anyone—they’re about deciding who gets to exist in America. 👉 New Chapbook: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” - https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY 👉 Start Here: Live Autistic Truth playlist 👉 Full Text & Sources: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com…
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I saw... "Trump Disbands Congress." The Autistic Implications
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7:45
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7:45
👉 Check out Trigger Warnings playlist More analysis on how world events impact neurodivergent lives and practical resistance strategies. I just saw Trump disbands Congress. For all intents and purposes, the US government isn’t just shut down—Trump has effectively rendered Congress useless and substituted his own personal will for governance. 00:00 …
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LIVE: Urgent Trigger Warnings, Plus RFKjr & Autism…
23:41
23:41
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23:41
Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. Trigger Warnings: Trump Disbands Congress Sources:Democracy Now! democracynow.org/2025/10/8/adel… “Scary Precedent”: GOP Blocks Rep.-Elect Adelita Grijalva from Taking Seat Amid Epstein Files Fight Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva, who won a special …
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That Autism Superpower Thing... Let's Blow the Whole F-&%ing Myth Up
1:19
1:19
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1:19
👉A live reading from the Amazon book, “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head.” What You’re About To Watch A quick, sharp destruction of the “autism as superpower” narrative that’s everywhere in neurodivergent spaces. No superpowers. No kryptonite. Just the messy, explosive, delightful reality of being autistic without the costume drama. These…
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Live Autistic Truth: "sneaking my mother's creepy g-d on high"
10:49
10:49
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10:49
Video Summary A cinematic spoken word piece that cuts through decades of family silence with surgical precision. Set against the Heaven's Gate cult tragedy and Hale-Bopp comet of 1997-98, this hybrid performance follows three wintry family gatherings where religious expectations collide with neurodivergent reality. Watch what happens when an autist…
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What They Didn’t Tell Me About My Autistic Body… That Remembers Everything
2:57
2:57
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2:57
Content Note: Sexual abuse, family trauma, therapy processing, strong language, intense emotional content Video Summary This live piece cuts to the bone of what trauma recovery actually looks like. When your brain works differently. And your body never forgets. What happens when you finally see yourself clearly in a therapist's mirror?When rage bec…
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Live Autistic Truth: "Dancing Close to the Edge of the Noise"
1:42
1:42
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1:42
👉 Subscribe… free or paid… to Substack, get a free PDF of the entire "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head" collection.👉 Support my work → Available as Amazon ebook or softcover. Exclusive hardcover edition coming soon. Content Note: Strong language, neurodivergent struggles, communication barriers Video Summary A raw piece that captures wha…
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Live Autistic Truth: "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head"
4:04
4:04
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4:04
Free Resources & Purchase Links 👉 Subscribe… free or paid… to Substack, geta free PDF of the entire "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head" collection. 👉 Support my work → Available as Amazon ebook or softcover. Exclusive hardcover edition coming soon. Content Note: Strong language, mental health struggles, time anxiety Video Summary A live p…
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Someone wrote me: "These knocked me sideways... I spent so much time as an undiagnosed autistic girl, wondering if I was the alien dropped among the normies." This is "A Swirl of Flesh-Colored Fog." Living truth. Autistic style. 👉 VIDEO: A Swirl of Flesh-Colored Fog - 6:01 I can't see faces. When I try to remember someone - even my wife - I see wha…
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Autistic Family & Other Mysteries, Live Spoken Word, 8/31/25
32:57
32:57
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32:57
Thanks to everyone who tuned in! Free or paid subscribers? Join me for my next live video in the app. Gonna be a Trigger Warnings kinda take on old men with their fingers on THE Button. This week… Here’s my speaking script from this live performance. Close to a transcript, but I changed a few lines on the fly… some even on purpose. Today I’m talkin…
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Live Spoken Word, "every clock is a handgun" — s05e07
24:27
24:27
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24:27
👉 YouTube Video of this live spoken word performance 👉 “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head,” Amazon book & ebook Cold Open I feel like a brilliant creative soul as if… trapped in a damaged body & neurology trying to communicate with the world through an intermittently short-circuiting transistor radio playing through static & the distortio…
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Trigger Warnings 2: Not Everything's Funny: Colbert, Trump .. & Hiroshima
12:32
12:32
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Cold Open I just heard the duly-elected President of these United States... Donald J. Trump... brag about dropping the atom bomb. On Hiroshima. My god. Steven Colbert? Jon Stewart...? Once, these guys were subversive... were daring. But... But with troops still in the California streets and missiles in Mid-Eastern air... Haven't comedians become na…
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Cold Open You wanna pathologize me? Knock yerself out. Faithfully counting every leaf marked "deficit"… But missing the whole damn forest we know locally as "Survival." [Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience] Intro You're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953. Season 5, Episode 5.…
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Doc, You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT...? Never Worked for Autistic Me
15:52
15:52
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15:52
Cold Open CBT…? Never worked for autistic me. So, look, we KNOW masking doesn't work. Or FEAR. Or PAIN. We’re dying from them already. That's all the words we need. [Music] Intro You're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953. Season 5, Episode 6. “Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT…? Never Work…
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Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience
16:12
16:12
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16:12
Cold Open You wanna pathologize me? Knock yerself out. Faithfully counting every leaf marked "deficit"… But missing the whole damn forest we know locally as "Survival." Intro You're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953. Season 5, Episode 5. “Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience.…
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I need to talk with you about events beyond autism today
7:01
7:01
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7:01
Cold Open [into silence] Friend, I haven't done this before. Usually I talk autism & neurodiversity with you. But I'm very concerned about events unfolding this weekend... I've seen these patterns emerge before. In other countries. Authoritarian countries¹. I have no plan of action to suggest. It's happening too fast for me to process… in my slow, …
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Living Autistic in Dangerous Times: Trump Labels 1 in 4 Families “Dire Threat”
16:03
16:03
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16:03
Cold Open (into silence) You love Dune? Like me? Frank Herbert is dead... wrong. Fear is NOT the mind-killer. Denial is. [Music ] Intro You're listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953. Season 5, Episode 5. Attacks on neurodivergence, facing our fears, finding our strength. Today we're talking threa…
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Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... 3 Rando Manifestos
15:21
15:21
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15:21
Cold Open I was not born to be pitied. I was born to raise Hell. Autistic style. Intro You’re listening to AutisticAF Out Loud. One voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent. Since 1953. Season 5, Episode 4. Breaking mirrors, dancing at the edge of noise, raising autistic hell. Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... and 3 Rando Manifestos. Just one aut…
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Autistic Spoken Word: Every Clock Is a Handgun
3:03
3:03
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3:03
Full podcast with links to available poster artwork: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/p/podcast-every-clock-is-a-handgun-2ee Sensory-Friendly Discussion & Summary: https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/30720fb4-dab4-48b9-873f-90ec1ac03b88/audio Transcript: Autistic Spoken Word: Every Clock Is a Handgun Pointed at My Head This spoken word on…
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