Best Bleav Renee Swanson Podcasts (2025)

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Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take 23:22

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30m ago23:22

23:22

If Covert Narcissism 101 exposed the basics, get ready for the advanced curriculum. This is Part Two of our two-part series — and today, we’re tackling Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take. In this sarcastic “classroom lecture,” we break down the advanced strategies covert narcissists seem to master: weaponizing forgetfuln…

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Covert Narcissism 101: The Textbook They All Seem to Have Read 16:48

3d ago16:48

16:48

Have you ever noticed that covert narcissists all seem to follow the exact same script? It’s as if they sat in the same classroom, took the same notes, and memorized the same textbook. In this episode — Part One of a two-part series — we crack open that mysterious manual: Covert Narcissism 101. From the art of the half-apology, to gaslighting, sile…

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The Gaping Hole Where Reconciliation Should Be: Life Without Repair in a Covert Narcissistic Relationship 21:45

7d ago21:45

21:45

One of the most painful realities of living with a covert narcissist is the absence of reconciliation. Conflicts don’t get repaired. Apologies are either nonexistent or so hollow they echo in your chest. You’re left holding the pieces of a conflict, waiting for your partner to help put them back together—only to realize they’ve already walked away,…

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Crush Your Divorce, Protect Your Peace: A Conversation with Attorney & Author Bree Sullivan-Howell 39:11

9d ago39:11

39:11

Divorcing a covert narcissist is not just about paperwork—it’s about survival. Today on the Covert Narcissism Podcast, I sit down with Bree Sullivan-Howell, a seasoned family law attorney with over two decades of experience and the author of Crush Your Divorce and Keep Your Faith and Crush Your Comeback. Bree brings both practical wisdom from the c…

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Forever Young, Forever Stuck: The Peter Pan World of Covert Narcissists 27:22

14d ago27:22

27:22

When you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it can feel like living in Never Never Land—a place where no one grows up, nothing ever gets resolved, and you’re left carrying all the weight. At first, their charm feels like magic. They’re playful, adventurous, fun. But when real life shows up—accountability, conflict, emotional depth—they …

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Your Rights When With a Covert Narcissist 21:01

17d ago21:01

21:01

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” Now that I have shown how I will t…

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I Didn’t Know the Words But I Knew the Feeling: Making Sense of Covert Narcissistic Abuse 22:42

21d ago22:42

22:42

You don’t have to know the terminology to know when something feels wrong. Long before I knew the term gaslighting, I knew the dizzying confusion of hearing “I never said that” about something I remembered clearly. Before I’d ever heard of circular conversations, I knew the frustration of talking in circles until I was the one apologizing. Before I…

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The Real Reason the Covert Narcissist Still Isn’t Changing: Understanding Guilt vs. Shame 28:48

24d ago28:48

28:48

They’ve stopped yelling. They’re going to therapy. They’re more “attentive.” So why does it still feel like nothing’s changed? In this final episode of our 4-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, we dive into one of the most misunderstood dynamics in narcissistic relationships: the collapse of guilt into shame—and how it sabotages real change. We …

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When Your Adult Child Takes Their Side: Surviving the Second Betrayal of Covert Narcissistic Abuse 24:45

28d ago24:45

24:45

When the Child You Protected Believes the Narcissist It’s a betrayal that cuts deeper than most people can understand—when your adult child, the one you protected for years, turns on you and takes the side of the covert narcissist. If you’re walking through this devastating experience, you are not alone. I’m opening a small, supportive Zoom coachin…

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Beneath the Apology: Shame, Image, and the Illusion of Empathy with Dr. Anthony Mazzella 32:59

1M ago32:59

32:59

What if that apology wasn’t about you at all? What if the moment that looked like remorse was really a carefully constructed move to restore a fractured image? In this powerful continuation of our series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella from The Narcissism Decoder podcast, we dive beneath the surface of “I’m sorry” to explore what’s really going on: the t…

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Baiting Tactics of Covert Narcissists: Signs, Examples, and How to Respond 19:38

1M ago19:38

19:38

Baiting is one of the most maddening—and most misunderstood—tactics used by covert narcissists. It’s the emotional equivalent of poking you with a stick just to watch you react, then sitting back and saying, “Wow… look how angry you are.” In this episode, we unpack exactly how covert narcissists bait you into emotional reactions—and why they benefi…

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Guilt vs Shame: The Emotional Crossroads That Defines Healing, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella 35:25

1M ago35:25

35:25

Part two of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the guilt you carry… isn’t actually guilt at all? In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Renee and Dr. Anthony Mazzella dive into the subtle but life-changing difference between guilt and shame—and wh…

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You’re Always the Problem: The Impossible Reality of Life with a Covert Narcissist 24:26

1M ago24:26

24:26

With a covert narcissist, the outcome is always the same: you’re the problem. No matter how gently you speak, how carefully you tread, or how hard you try—somehow, it always comes back to you. That’s not bad communication. That’s emotional abuse wrapped in manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting. In this episode, we walk through a choose-your-own-adve…

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Shame vs Self: The Invisible Wound Behind Narcissistic Traits, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella 34:43

1M ago34:43

34:43

Part one of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the root of so much emotional pain, self-sabotage, and confusion isn’t who you are—but what you've carried? In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, Renee is joined by Dr. Anthony Mazzella to …

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Leaving Doesn’t Start with a Go Bag: Why Leaving a Covert Narcissist Takes Time 22:25

2M ago22:25

22:25

Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single event—it’s a process. In this episode, we break down the myth of the dramatic midnight escape and explore the emotional, psychological, and logistical realities that make leaving so complex. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?” or been judged by others for how long it’s taken to get …

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The Covert Narcissist is Just Enough: Why You Stayed So Long 20:11

2M ago20:11

20:11

Why do so many people stay in relationships with covert narcissists for years—sometimes decades? This episode is a raw, honest, and deeply validating exploration of the emotional tug-of-war that keeps survivors stuck in toxic dynamics. I open up about my own 20+ year marriage to a covert narcissist—why I stayed, why I didn’t see it sooner, and why …

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Keeping the Peace... at What Cost? How Covert Narcissists Make Everyone Pay for Their Unhappiness 21:17

2M ago21:17

21:17

When you're in a relationship with a covert narcissist, peace is often a performance—maintained at the expense of your own emotional well-being. This episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how covert narcissists condition those around them to bend, sacrifice, and stay silent just to avoid upsetting them. From partners who tell their kids…

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Rent Free in My Head: How Covert Narcissists Keep Controlling You After You Leave 22:35

2M ago22:35

22:35

You left. You blocked them. You did everything you were “supposed” to do to break free from the covert narcissist in your life. But somehow… they’re still there. In your thoughts. In your inner dialogue. In the way you second-guess yourself when no one’s even around. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists continue to live “rent free” in…

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Implode or Explode: How Covert Narcissists React When You Call Them Out 21:54

2M ago21:54

21:54

What happens when you finally speak the truth to a covert narcissist? Whether you’re pointing out a small forgotten chore or confronting them about a huge betrayal, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two most common narcissistic reactions to being called out: the emotional implosio…

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Is This Really Healing… or Just Behavior Management? The Dry Drunk Parallel in Covert Narcissistic Abuse 21:17

2M ago21:17

21:17

When the yelling stops, the lies fade, and the manipulative games come to a halt… does it mean they are getting better? In this episode, we explore the confusing and disorienting experience of living with someone who has changed their behaviors, but hasn’t done the real emotional work underneath. Drawing a parallel with the concept of a "dry drunk,…

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But Do You Really Care: How Covert Narcissists Fake Empathy 18:33

2M ago18:33

18:33

Empathy — we all think we know what it means, until we’re in a relationship where it’s missing. Covert narcissists are often skilled at sounding emotionally intelligent. They can say the right words, mirror emotional language, and even cry on cue — but something still feels off. That’s because what they offer isn’t real empathy; it’s a performance.…

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When Addiction, Trauma, and Narcissistic Traits Collide: A Candid Talk with Todd Rennebohm 31:58

2M ago31:58

31:58

Are they a covert narcissist or an alcoholic? What if the alcohol goes away? Does this get better? In this candid and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Todd Rennebohm, host of Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, to explore the complex intersection of addiction, trauma, emotional dysregulation, and misunderstood behaviors. Todd opens up abou…

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The Birthday That Broke You: Why Covert Narcissists Ruin Special Occasions 18:54

3M ago18:54

18:54

You planned everything perfectly — the dinner, the outfit, the guest list. But somehow, your birthday still ended in silence. Or tears. Or walking on eggshells. If you’ve ever felt like your special moments were stolen — you’re not alone. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists sabotage holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and even simple…

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What’s in Your Basement? How Childhood Trauma Sabotages Adult Relationships 14:51

3M ago14:51

14:51

We all live on the "main floor" of our emotional house—handling relationships, responsibilities, and day-to-day life. But when things break down, the real answers are often hidden in the basement: our childhood. In this episode, I unpack how unresolved childhood trauma silently shapes the way we love, react, and connect as adults. You'll learn why …

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How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids Amidst Covert Narcissistic Abuse 23:53

3M ago23:53

23:53

How do you raise emotionally grounded, self-aware children when you're navigating the chaos and confusion of covert narcissistic abuse — or healing from it yourself? In this powerful episode, we explore what it means to parent with intention, clarity, and compassion in the aftermath of narcissistic harm. Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissis…

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Nature versus Nurture: Where Did All This Narcissism Come From? 18:49

3M ago18:49

18:49

Are narcissists born or made? In this foundational episode, we unpack the complex roots of narcissism through the lens of both nature and nurture. We explore how temperament, early childhood environment, and relational trauma interact to shape narcissistic behaviors — and why it’s not always a direct path. You’ll learn: How biological traits like s…

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Fix-It Mode and the Trauma Bond: When Love Becomes Survival 23:43

3M ago23:43

23:43

Why is it so hard to leave — even when you know the relationship is toxic? In this powerful episode, we expose the hidden truth behind trauma bonding with a covert narcissist. It’s not just emotional confusion — it’s chemical addiction. You’re not addicted to the person; you’re addicted to the highs, the relief, the dopamine rush that follows emoti…

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Trying Too Hard to Fix It: When Enough Finally Becomes Enough 13:20

3M ago13:20

13:20

If you’ve been bending over backwards trying to fix a relationship that keeps breaking you… this episode is for you. Today, I’m sharing a personal story about the moment I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Can you honestly say you’ve done everything you know to do?” That one question made me face the truth — not about the relation…

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Dreading the Weekend: The Backwards Reality of Covert Narcissistic Abuse 22:33

3M ago22:33

22:33

If you find yourself dreading the weekend and breathing easier on Monday mornings, you might be living in the upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse. In this powerful episode, we explore what it’s like to live with a covert narcissist whose presence turns weekends into emotional minefields. While others relax and recharge, you're managing m…

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Are They a Covert Narcissist or Just a Jerk? How to Tell the Difference 18:10

3M ago18:10

18:10

Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk? That’s one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passi…

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Circular Conversations from Hell: Trapped in the Loop with a Covert Narcissist 21:12

4M ago21:12

21:12

Ever walk away from a conversation feeling more confused than when you started—like somehow, even though you were calm, kind, and clear, you’re the one apologizing again? Welcome to the maddening world of circular conversations with a covert narcissist. In this episode, we dive into the logic-defying, soul-draining dynamics that keep you stuck in e…

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If I Weren’t Talking About Covert Narcissism… I’d Be Starting Fires in the Woods 16:40

4M ago16:40

16:40

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we take a much-needed breath of fresh air—literally and emotionally. If I weren’t talking about covert narcissism every week, I’d be out in the woods learning survival skills: building fires, navigating with moss, and figuring out which berries won’t kill me. Why? Because sometimes, healing from cov…

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When Guilt Is a Lie: How Covert Control Feels Like Your Fault 18:56

4M ago18:56

18:56

What if the guilt you’ve been carrying… isn’t guilt at all? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we peel back the layers of false guilt—those heavy, painful feelings that whisper “you’re the problem” anytime someone else is upset. Renee walks through a real-life example of emotional coercion in a relationship with a covert narcissist, …

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Sexual Coercion and Assault Within Marriage 18:33

4M ago18:33

18:33

What if you said yes — but didn’t feel free to say no? In this powerful and necessary episode, we’re confronting the hidden reality of sexual coercion and assault within marriage, especially when the partner is a covert narcissist. From guilt-laced manipulation to emotional punishment and silent withdrawal, we explore how control can show up quietl…

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More Truths from My Therapist That Rewired My Trauma Brain, Part Two 21:02

4M ago21:02

21:02

Welcome to Part Two of Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts. We’re continuing the conversation with five more transformative truths that cut through confusion, emotional manipulation, and internalized blame—especially for anyone navigating covert narcissistic abuse. These one-liners don’t just help you name what’s been happening—…

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10 Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts, Part One 19:27

4M ago19:27

19:27

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in healing from covert narcissistic abuse come from just one sentence—something so simple, so true, it rewires your entire nervous system. In this part one episode, I’m sharing five powerful one-liners my therapist said that helped me finally recognize the emotional abuse I had been living through—and start the r…

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Brain vs. Gut: The Ultimate Showdown Inside Covert Narcissistic Abuse 18:08

4M ago18:08

18:08

Covert narcissism sends you spinning into cognitive dissonance circles! But your brain and your gut were never supposed to be enemies. They're both trying to protect you—just in different ways. Healing begins when they stop arguing and start working together, guiding you out of the confusion and back into clarity. Key Takeaways: Covert abuse hijack…

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Breaking Free from Guilt in Narcissistic Relationships with Jerry Wise, Part Two 22:57

4M ago22:57

22:57

In this part two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of covert narcissism, exploring the impact of guilt in relationships with narcissistic individuals. They discuss the importance of self-focus and reframing one's internal environment to foster healing and personal growth. The dialogue emphasizes that it is never…

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You Are Not Your Programming: Healing the Narcissistic Wound with Jerry Wise, Part One 23:33

4M ago23:33

23:33

In this part one of two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of narcissism and the concept of self-differentiation. Jerry shares his extensive experience in family systems therapy and explains how self-differentiation allows individuals to grow into their true selves without absorbing the toxicity of others. They d…

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From Falling Apart to Fighting Back: A Raw Divorce Story with Andrea from How Not to Suck at Divorce 24:16

5M ago24:16

24:16

What happens when the fairy tale was never a fairy tale to begin with? In this powerful episode, Renee Swanson is joined by Andrea, the candid and courageous voice behind the hit podcast How Not to Suck at Divorce. Andrea doesn’t just share her story—she lays it all out. The red flags she ignored. The justifications she clung to. The slow unravelin…

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Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist 18:45

5M ago18:45

18:45

In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert …

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The Journey of Healing: What It Really Looks Like After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 18:46

5M ago18:46

18:46

At the end of every episode, I say, “I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.” But today, I want to pause and really talk about what that journey actually looks like—because healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn’t what most people think. When I first left, I believed healing meant I’d wake up one day and magically stop hurting. I t…

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The Invisible Parent: When Love Does the Work and Lies Get the Credit 26:51

5M ago26:51

26:51

In this raw and emotional episode, we’re diving deep into one of the most devastating dynamics in families with a covert narcissist: when the parent doing all the emotional labor is unseen, while the other parent gets all the praise. We unpack the covert narcissist’s relentless need for supply and scapegoats—and how this manipulative cycle plays ou…

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Radical Personal Responsibility 20:17

5M ago20:17

20:17

I often get asked: •Why did this happen to me? •How did I get here? •How do I prevent it from ever happening again? •How do I heal from this? These are excellent questions and they are very related to each other. Why did this happen to me has a whole lot to do with how do I prevent it from ever happening again. How did I get here is tied closely wi…

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You Wanna See My Bruises? Look at My Kids 19:21

5M ago19:21

19:21

Not all bruises are visible—and some of the deepest ones live in the hearts of our children. In this powerful episode, we talk about the unseen wounds of emotional abuse, especially when you're parenting alongside a covert narcissist. What happens when the world only believes abuse if they can see it? What happens to the children growing up in that…

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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist with Debbie Mirza 31:32

5M ago31:32

31:32

What a privilege it is to introduce to you Debbie Mirza! She is best-selling author of the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," one of the first books I ever read that opened my eyes to the nightmare that I was living. This book is an amazing resource for gaining awareness and understanding of covert narcissism. Her second book "Worthy …

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When Grey Rocking Backfires: How to Protect Your Peace with a Covert Narcissist 24:20

5M ago24:20

24:20

Have you ever tried to Grey Rock a covert narcissist—only to watch it completely blow up in your face? You stayed neutral, kept your answers short, and avoided reacting… but somehow, things escalated anyway. In this episode, we dive deep into why Grey Rocking often backfires with a covert narcissist, and how to use it in a smarter, safer, and more …

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Divorcing a Covert Narcissist: Is a Healthy Split Possible? 22:42

5M ago22:42

22:42

Is a peaceful divorce possible when dealing with a covert narcissist? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks to unpack the complexities of separation from a covert narcissist. We dive into the concept of radical acceptance—understanding the reality of your situation and adjusting your expectations acc…

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Reactive Abuse: When Survivors Get Blamed for Their Pain 24:01

6M ago24:01

24:01

Imagine being pushed, prodded, and ignored—until you finally snap. Then suddenly, you’re the problem. Sound familiar? In this episode, we’re diving deep into reactive abuse—one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use to flip the script and make survivors question their reality. I’ll share real-life stories—both from childhood and marri…

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When Your Adult Child is a Covert Narcissist: A Parent’s Dilemma with Dr. Mazzella 34:49

6M ago34:49

34:49

In this powerful Part Two of the two-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella and Renee Swanson, we shift perspectives. In part one, we discussed the adult child uncovering a covert narcissistic parent, and this is featured on The Narcissism Decoder. Now we shift to the parent who realizes their adult child exhibits covert narcissistic behaviors. Dr. …