Best Bleav Renee Swanson Podcasts (2025)

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Covert Narcissism and Trauma: Why You and Your Kids Stop Talking 28:13

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1d ago28:13

28:13

Covert narcissism and trauma quietly teach adults and children that silence feels safer than honesty. If you’ve noticed yourself going quiet, choosing your words carefully, or avoiding hard conversations altogether — or you’re watching your children withdraw, shut down, or stop sharing — this episode explains why that happens and what safety actual…

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The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 2: How to Calm a Dysregulated Nervous System After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 21:12

4d ago21:12

21:12

In Part 1, we uncovered the surprising physical symptoms of trauma that often go unnoticed — the jaw tension, the tinnitus, the eye twitching, the constant bracing your body learned to do in order to survive covert narcissistic abuse. In Part 2, we continue that conversation by focusing on three symptoms that confuse survivors the most: chest tight…

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The Physical Signs You Didn’t Know Were Trauma Responses, Part 1: How Covert Narcissism Shows Up in Your Body 21:50

8d ago21:50

21:50

When you live in the backwards, upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse, your body often understands the danger long before your mind can name it. The symptoms you thought were “random,” “weird,” or “just stress” were actually your nervous system trying to protect you. In this episode, we explore the physical signs you didn’t recognize as tr…

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How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing 27:45

11d ago27:45

27:45

Talking to your adult children about a covert narcissistic parent is one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded challenges survivors face. You’re carrying years of truth inside you — experiences that shaped your life, your self-concept, your safety, and in many cases, the childhood environment your kids grew up in. And yet, speaking that truth …

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Fawning Is Not Codependency: Understanding the Difference When You’ve Lived With a Covert Narcissist 21:45

15d ago21:45

21:45

So many survivors walk into healing believing they were “codependent,” when the truth is far more compassionate and far more accurate: What you were doing wasn’t codependency — it was fawning, a trauma response your nervous system used to keep you safe in an emotionally dangerous environment. In this episode, we break down the difference between fa…

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Thanksgiving Special: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse Through Self-Gratitude 16:03

18d ago16:03

16:03

This Thanksgiving episode is unlike any you’ve heard before. Instead of forcing gratitude outward—toward family, toward traditions, toward circumstances that may feel complicated or painful—this episode brings gratitude back home. To you. Survivors of covert narcissistic abuse often carry shame for the very responses that kept them alive. They ques…

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How Unsafe People Erase Your Reality And Safe People Restore It 19:34

22d ago19:34

19:34

In Part 2 of this story, we pick up right where the alligator encounter left off — not with danger, but with the emotional aftershock that followed. My body was still shaking, adrenaline pumping, breath unsteady. I paddled straight toward my friend in a heightened state: frightened, confused, and trying to make sense of whether I had truly just kay…

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When Every Conversation Turns into Confusion: The Communication Breakdown of Covert Narcissism 19:58

25d ago19:58

19:58

In a healthy relationship, conversations might be difficult at times—but they are possible. You can talk, clarify, repair, and understand each other. But when you’re living with a covert narcissist, communication slowly becomes a maze you can never find your way out of. In this episode, I share how the most ordinary exchanges in my marriage became …

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I Kayaked Over an Alligator And Finally Understood My Trauma Response 22:39

29d ago22:39

22:39

In this episode, I’m taking you with me on a peaceful Florida river… right up to the moment my kayak bumped over what I thought was a floating log. Except it wasn’t a log. It was a massive mama alligator. But the most surprising part of the story isn’t the alligator. It’s what my brain did in the exact moment of danger. Instead of panicking, scream…

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Not All Covert Narcissists Look the Same 14:38

1M ago14:38

14:38

Covert narcissism isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some manipulate through silence, others through guilt or tears. Some quote scripture, some play the victim, and some simply vanish into the quiet coldness that leaves you questioning your worth. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores how covert narcissism exists on a spectrum—why it can look completely di…

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The Inflatable Clown: Living with a Covert Narcissist Who Always Needs Air 21:22

1M ago21:22

21:22

Ever feel like you’ve been living in a circus you didn’t sign up for? In this episode, Renee Swanson uses humor to shine a light on the exhausting emotional reality of living with a covert narcissist — through the story of an inflatable clown and a bicycle pump. You know the one: it’s dramatic, unstable, takes up too much space, and leaks air faste…

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Parental Alienation Explained: How Covert Narcissists Turn Children Against You 20:46

1M ago20:46

20:46

What if your greatest fear as a parent has already come true? You can feel it — your child pulling away, repeating phrases that don’t sound like them, looking at you through someone else’s eyes. This is the painful reality of parental alienation, one of the covert narcissist’s most devastating tools of control. In this episode, Renee Swanson explai…

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The Hidden Weight of Resentment in Covert Narcissistic Abuse 15:53

1M ago15:53

15:53

Resentment is one of the hardest emotions to face after covert narcissistic abuse—because it shows up long before you even realize what’s happening. You start resenting them for the confusion, then resenting yourself for pulling away. But what if resentment isn’t bitterness at all? What if it’s your system’s way of saying, “I’ve had enough.” In thi…

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Beyond Blame: A Message for the Children of Divorce 20:23

2M ago20:23

20:23

When a marriage falls apart, the story children see is often only a small part of what truly happened. One parent may look angry or reactive while the other appears calm or composed — but underneath, both are often hurting, both are surviving, and both are human. In this heartfelt episode, life coach and podcast host Renee Swanson speaks directly t…

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When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Escaping the Trap of Catastrophic Thinking After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 23:08

2M ago23:08

23:08

If your mind can take one tiny worry and turn it into a full-blown disaster movie, you’re not alone. That’s catastrophic thinking — and it’s one of the most common patterns survivors of covert narcissistic abuse struggle with. After years of walking on eggshells, your brain learns to expect danger, even when there’s none. Whether you lived with a c…

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But They Had a Rough Childhood”: When Excuses Become Permission Slips for Abuse 22:02

2M ago22:02

22:02

We’ve all heard it—“But they had a rough childhood.” “They just don’t know any better.” “You have to feel sorry for them.” Yes, empathy is beautiful. But at some point, we have to ask: how far does this excuse go? In this episode, Renee pulls back the curtain on one of the most common traps survivors of covert narcissistic abuse fall into—confusing…

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How to Handle Triangulation: Protecting You and Your Children 21:45

2M ago21:45

21:45

Triangulation doesn’t stop just because you see it. In fact, once you recognize the pattern, the covert narcissist often pushes harder, twisting words, controlling the story, and pulling others into the tension. In this episode, Renee walks you through how to handle triangulation in every stage of the journey: While you’re still in the relationship…

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Covert Narcissism Unmasked: Sarma Melngailis on Manipulation, Awakening, and Resilience 27:50

2M ago27:50

27:50

In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarma Melngailis, we dive into the turning point—the awakening after covert narcissistic abuse. Sarma shares the moment she began to see the manipulation clearly, how she learned to gray rock and set boundaries, and what it means to find freedom after years of psychological control. Together, we unpack the neurobio…

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Covert Narcissist Triangulation: How They Control the Narrative and Divide Relationships 16:45

2M ago16:45

16:45

Triangulation is one of the covert narcissist’s most insidious tools — because it’s quiet, invisible, and devastating. It’s how they control the narrative, twist communication, and turn the people you love against each other — all while pretending to be the calm, reasonable “peacekeeper.” In this episode, Renee shares two powerful stories that reve…

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From “Bad Vegan” to Truth Teller: Sarma Melngailis on Covert Narcissistic Abuse and Self-Discovery 30:39

2M ago30:39

30:39

Sarma Melngailis—best known from the Netflix docuseries Bad Vegan—joins me to reveal the story the headlines never told. In this powerful and deeply human conversation, Sarma opens up about covert narcissistic abuse, repeated manipulation, and the long road of self-discovery that followed. We explore how empathy, idealism, and even neurodivergence …

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When You Snap: The Breaking Point After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 21:12

2M ago21:12

21:12

You didn’t just wake up one day and decide to slap them. That moment — the one that now fills you with shame and self-blame — didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s been building for a long time. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores what happens when years of emotional invalidation, manipulation, and gaslighting finally push you past your breaking poi…

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When Survivors Gather: The Power of Shared Stories and Safe Spaces After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 17:47

2M ago17:47

17:47

What happens when survivors of covert narcissistic abuse come together in one safe space? At our recent CNG retreat, fifteen women gathered with fear, doubt, hope, and courage. Some were terrified to share their stories, afraid of judgment or dismissal. Others were overflowing with relief at finally being heard. In this episode, I reflect on the le…

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Why Being Yourself Feels Dangerous with a Covert Narcissist 24:54

3M ago24:54

24:54

Have you ever wondered why just being yourself feels like walking through a minefield with a covert narcissist? Why your joy, your truth, your boundaries, even your growth seem to set off explosions? In this episode, we unpack exactly why the covert narcissist sees you as a threat. From your truth that cracks their carefully crafted image, to your …

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Bird in a Cage, Part 2: Finding Freedom After Covert Narcissistic Abuse 26:26

3M ago26:26

26:26

In Part 2 of my conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we go deeper into the journey of leaving—and staying gone—from covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn opens up about the staggering reality that it takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship before it finally sticks, and why so many survivors find themselves pulled …

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Pull Back Your Supply: How to Test the True Nature of a Relationship with a Covert Narcissist 19:34

3M ago19:34

19:34

What happens when you stop pouring all your energy into someone else and start investing it back into yourself? In a healthy relationship, your self-care is welcomed and even celebrated. Your partner enjoys the space to recharge too, and both of you come back stronger. But in a relationship with a covert narcissist, pulling back your supply—the con…

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Bird in a Cage: Caryn Dixon’s Journey Out of Covert Narcissistic Abuse (Part 1) 25:06

3M ago25:06

25:06

In this first half of my two-part conversation with singer-songwriter Caryn Dixon, we explore the story behind her new EP Bird in a Cage—a raw and vulnerable collection of songs written out of her experience of covert narcissistic abuse. Caryn shares how life inside the “perfect couple” image felt more like a shrinking cage, one that left her hidin…

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Mary’s Story: A Celebration of Life and the Hidden Toll of Covert Narcissism 15:40

3M ago15:40

15:40

In today’s episode, I step away from the usual format to share something deeply personal and profoundly important. This is a tribute—a celebration of life—for a member of our community whose story ended too soon. For her privacy, I will call her Mary. Mary’s life was marked by decades of devotion, sacrifice, and quiet endurance. Though her family d…

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Leaving a Covert Narcissist: The 3 Stages of Physical, Emotional, and Mental Freedom 24:38

3M ago24:38

24:38

Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single moment of walking out the door—it’s a layered process that unfolds in stages. In this episode, I explore the three different ways survivors leave: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In physically abusive relationships, your body often leaves first for safety, while your heart and mind lag behind. In em…

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Endless Attempts, Zero Progress: Can a Covert Narcissist Ever Wake Up? 19:52

3M ago19:52

19:52

You’ve researched. You’ve reasoned. You’ve shown empathy. You’ve tried again and again to help them see the truth—about their behavior, the damage, the disconnection. But nothing changes. In this episode, Renee Swanson explores one of the most painful patterns survivors of covert narcissistic abuse face: the endless attempts to help, to explain, to…

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Covert Narcissism: It’s Not What They Said, It’s How They Said It 17:42

3M ago17:42

17:42

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head, wondering if you misunderstood what was said—or if you were being manipulated? In relationships with covert narcissists, it’s rarely the words themselves that do the most damage. It’s the intent, the tone, and the unspoken energy behind them. In this episode, we explore how the same words can hold…

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Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take 23:22

4M ago23:22

23:22

If Covert Narcissism 101 exposed the basics, get ready for the advanced curriculum. This is Part Two of our two-part series — and today, we’re tackling Covert Narcissism 102: The Final Exam You Never Wanted to Take. In this sarcastic “classroom lecture,” we break down the advanced strategies covert narcissists seem to master: weaponizing forgetfuln…

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Covert Narcissism 101: The Textbook They All Seem to Have Read 16:48

4M ago16:48

16:48

Have you ever noticed that covert narcissists all seem to follow the exact same script? It’s as if they sat in the same classroom, took the same notes, and memorized the same textbook. In this episode — Part One of a two-part series — we crack open that mysterious manual: Covert Narcissism 101. From the art of the half-apology, to gaslighting, sile…

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The Gaping Hole Where Reconciliation Should Be: Life Without Repair in a Covert Narcissistic Relationship 21:45

4M ago21:45

21:45

One of the most painful realities of living with a covert narcissist is the absence of reconciliation. Conflicts don’t get repaired. Apologies are either nonexistent or so hollow they echo in your chest. You’re left holding the pieces of a conflict, waiting for your partner to help put them back together—only to realize they’ve already walked away,…

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Crush Your Divorce, Protect Your Peace: A Conversation with Attorney & Author Bree Sullivan-Howell 39:11

4M ago39:11

39:11

Divorcing a covert narcissist is not just about paperwork—it’s about survival. Today on the Covert Narcissism Podcast, I sit down with Bree Sullivan-Howell, a seasoned family law attorney with over two decades of experience and the author of Crush Your Divorce and Keep Your Faith and Crush Your Comeback. Bree brings both practical wisdom from the c…

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Forever Young, Forever Stuck: The Peter Pan World of Covert Narcissists 27:22

4M ago27:22

27:22

When you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it can feel like living in Never Never Land—a place where no one grows up, nothing ever gets resolved, and you’re left carrying all the weight. At first, their charm feels like magic. They’re playful, adventurous, fun. But when real life shows up—accountability, conflict, emotional depth—they …

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Your Rights When With a Covert Narcissist 21:01

4M ago21:01

21:01

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” Now that I have shown how I will t…

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I Didn’t Know the Words But I Knew the Feeling: Making Sense of Covert Narcissistic Abuse 22:42

4M ago22:42

22:42

You don’t have to know the terminology to know when something feels wrong. Long before I knew the term gaslighting, I knew the dizzying confusion of hearing “I never said that” about something I remembered clearly. Before I’d ever heard of circular conversations, I knew the frustration of talking in circles until I was the one apologizing. Before I…

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The Real Reason the Covert Narcissist Still Isn’t Changing: Understanding Guilt vs. Shame 28:48

4M ago28:48

28:48

They’ve stopped yelling. They’re going to therapy. They’re more “attentive.” So why does it still feel like nothing’s changed? In this final episode of our 4-part series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, we dive into one of the most misunderstood dynamics in narcissistic relationships: the collapse of guilt into shame—and how it sabotages real change. We …

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When Your Adult Child Takes Their Side: Surviving the Second Betrayal of Covert Narcissistic Abuse 24:45

4M ago24:45

24:45

When the Child You Protected Believes the Narcissist It’s a betrayal that cuts deeper than most people can understand—when your adult child, the one you protected for years, turns on you and takes the side of the covert narcissist. If you’re walking through this devastating experience, you are not alone. I’m opening a small, supportive Zoom coachin…

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Beneath the Apology: Shame, Image, and the Illusion of Empathy with Dr. Anthony Mazzella 32:59

5M ago32:59

32:59

What if that apology wasn’t about you at all? What if the moment that looked like remorse was really a carefully constructed move to restore a fractured image? In this powerful continuation of our series with Dr. Anthony Mazzella from The Narcissism Decoder podcast, we dive beneath the surface of “I’m sorry” to explore what’s really going on: the t…

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Baiting Tactics of Covert Narcissists: Signs, Examples, and How to Respond 19:38

5M ago19:38

19:38

Baiting is one of the most maddening—and most misunderstood—tactics used by covert narcissists. It’s the emotional equivalent of poking you with a stick just to watch you react, then sitting back and saying, “Wow… look how angry you are.” In this episode, we unpack exactly how covert narcissists bait you into emotional reactions—and why they benefi…

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Guilt vs Shame: The Emotional Crossroads That Defines Healing, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella 35:25

5M ago35:25

35:25

Part two of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the guilt you carry… isn’t actually guilt at all? In Part Two of this powerful conversation, Renee and Dr. Anthony Mazzella dive into the subtle but life-changing difference between guilt and shame—and wh…

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You’re Always the Problem: The Impossible Reality of Life with a Covert Narcissist 24:26

5M ago24:26

24:26

With a covert narcissist, the outcome is always the same: you’re the problem. No matter how gently you speak, how carefully you tread, or how hard you try—somehow, it always comes back to you. That’s not bad communication. That’s emotional abuse wrapped in manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting. In this episode, we walk through a choose-your-own-adve…

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Shame vs Self: The Invisible Wound Behind Narcissistic Traits, guest Dr. Anthony Mazzella 34:43

5M ago34:43

34:43

Part one of a 4 part series on Guilt and Shame with guest, Dr. Anthony Mazzella, Psychotherapist & Host of The Narcissism Decoder Podcast What if the root of so much emotional pain, self-sabotage, and confusion isn’t who you are—but what you've carried? In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, Renee is joined by Dr. Anthony Mazzella to …

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Leaving Doesn’t Start with a Go Bag: Why Leaving a Covert Narcissist Takes Time 22:25

5M ago22:25

22:25

Leaving a covert narcissist isn’t a single event—it’s a process. In this episode, we break down the myth of the dramatic midnight escape and explore the emotional, psychological, and logistical realities that make leaving so complex. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I leave sooner?” or been judged by others for how long it’s taken to get …

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The Covert Narcissist is Just Enough: Why You Stayed So Long 20:11

5M ago20:11

20:11

Why do so many people stay in relationships with covert narcissists for years—sometimes decades? This episode is a raw, honest, and deeply validating exploration of the emotional tug-of-war that keeps survivors stuck in toxic dynamics. I open up about my own 20+ year marriage to a covert narcissist—why I stayed, why I didn’t see it sooner, and why …

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Keeping the Peace... at What Cost? How Covert Narcissists Make Everyone Pay for Their Unhappiness 21:17

5M ago21:17

21:17

When you're in a relationship with a covert narcissist, peace is often a performance—maintained at the expense of your own emotional well-being. This episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how covert narcissists condition those around them to bend, sacrifice, and stay silent just to avoid upsetting them. From partners who tell their kids…

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Rent Free in My Head: How Covert Narcissists Keep Controlling You After You Leave 22:35

5M ago22:35

22:35

You left. You blocked them. You did everything you were “supposed” to do to break free from the covert narcissist in your life. But somehow… they’re still there. In your thoughts. In your inner dialogue. In the way you second-guess yourself when no one’s even around. In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists continue to live “rent free” in…

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Implode or Explode: How Covert Narcissists React When You Call Them Out 21:54

6M ago21:54

21:54

What happens when you finally speak the truth to a covert narcissist? Whether you’re pointing out a small forgotten chore or confronting them about a huge betrayal, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two most common narcissistic reactions to being called out: the emotional implosio…

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Is This Really Healing… or Just Behavior Management? The Dry Drunk Parallel in Covert Narcissistic Abuse 21:17

6M ago21:17

21:17

When the yelling stops, the lies fade, and the manipulative games come to a halt… does it mean they are getting better? In this episode, we explore the confusing and disorienting experience of living with someone who has changed their behaviors, but hasn’t done the real emotional work underneath. Drawing a parallel with the concept of a "dry drunk,…