))
How do couples redefine intimacy when chronic illness changes everything? — Lisa Gray
Manage episode 518626945 series 3604092
On Pleasure Principles, host Avik gets tactical about intimacy beyond sex when chronic illness enters the chat. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Lisa Gray, who lives with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, lays out an actionable playbook: separate sex from intimacy, center attunement over performance, and rebuild connection through presence, curiosity, and clear communication. We unpack grief on both sides of the partnership, values-led choices (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy), and simple practices—from a six-second kiss to silent co-regulation—that revive closeness without risking flare-ups. If pain, fatigue, meds, or fear changed what’s physically possible, this convo shows how to pivot without losing the relationship thread.
About the guest:Lisa Gray, LMFT, is a San Francisco Bay Area couples therapist specializing in high-conflict dynamics and the unique stressors chronic illness brings to relationships. As an author and clinician, she blends lived experience with evidence-based frameworks to help partners rebuild connection that lasts.
Key takeaways :Chronic illness impacts the system (both partners) — expect grief on both sides and name it to avoid resentment.
Separate sex from intimacy: treat connection as the main event; sensuality ≠ intercourse.
Start small to reduce pressure and pain risk: eye contact, hand-holding, cuddling, mindful breathing, unhurried make-outs.
Use Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT): accept hard feelings, then behave from values, not moods.
Rebuild attunement: slow down, track each other’s cues, and prioritize soothing touch over performance.
Conversation sequencing matters: lead with curiosity and validation before problem-solving.
Caregiver/partner guilt is common; surface it early to prevent isolation and scorekeeping.
Micro-rituals create momentum: Gottman’s six-second kiss, scheduled “no-goal” connection time, weekly check-ins.
Identity drift is real; don’t let diagnosis define you—rebalance life so partnership isn’t always “after the illness.”
Define your new intimacy menu together: boundaries, energy windows, meds timing, comfort positions, and aftercare.
Website (books): https://www.lisagrayauthor.com/
Instagram: @LisaGrayMFT
Want to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? DM on PM - Send me a message on PodMatch
DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik
Healthy Mind By Avik™️ is a global platform redefining mental health as a necessity, not a luxury. Born during the pandemic, it’s become a sanctuary for healing, growth, and mindful living. Hosted by Avik Chakraborty—storyteller, survivor, wellness advocate—this channel shares powerful podcasts and soul-nurturing conversations on:
• Mental Health & Emotional Well-being
• Mindfulness & Spiritual Growth
• Holistic Healing & Conscious Living
• Trauma Recovery & Self-Empowerment
With over 4,400+ episodes and 168.4K+ global listeners, join us as we unite voices, break stigma, and build a world where every story matters.
Subscribe and be part of this healing journey.
Contact
Brand: Healthy Mind By Avik™
Email: www.healthymindbyavik.com
Based in: India & USA
Open to collaborations, guest appearances, coaching, and strategic partnerships. Let’s connect to create a ripple effect of positivity.
CHECK PODCAST SHOWS & BE A GUEST:
Listen our 17 Podcast Shows Here: https://www.podbean.com/podcast-network/healthymindbyavik
Be a guest on our other shows: https://www.healthymindbyavik.com/beaguest
Video Testimonial: https://www.healthymindbyavik.com/testimonials
Join Our Guest & Listener Community: https://nas.io/healthymind
Subscribe To Newsletter: https://healthymindbyavik.substack.com/
OUR SERVICES
Business Podcast Management - https://ourofferings.healthymindbyavik.com/corporatepodcasting/
Individual Podcast Management - https://ourofferings.healthymindbyavik.com/Podcasting/
Share Your Story With World - https://ourofferings.healthymindbyavik.com/shareyourstory
STAY TUNED AND FOLLOW US!
Medium - https://medium.com/@contentbyavik
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@healthymindbyavik
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/healthyminds.pod/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/podcast.healthymind
Linkedin Page - https://www.linkedin.com/company/healthymindbyavik
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/avikchakrabortypodcaster/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/podhealthclub
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/Avikpodhealth/
SHARE YOUR REVIEW
Share your Google Review - https://www.podpage.com/bizblend/reviews/new/
Share a video Testimonial and it will be displayed on our website - https://famewall.healthymindbyavik.com/
Because every story matters and yours could be the one that lights the way!
#podmatch #healthymind #healthymindbyavik #wellness #HealthyMindByAvik #MentalHealthAwareness
#comedypodcast #truecrimepodcast #historypodcast, #startupspodcast #podcasthost #podcasttips, #podcaststudio #podcastseries #podcastformentalhealth #podcastforentrepreneurs, #podcastformoms #femalepodcasters, #podcastcommunity #podcastgoals #podcastrecommendations #bestpodcast, #podcastlovers, #podcastersofinstagram #newpodcastalert #podcast #podcasting #podcastlife #podcasts #spotifypodcast #applepodcasts #podbean #podcastcommunity #podcastgoals #bestpodcast #podcastlovers #podcasthost #podcastseries #podcastforspeakers
#StorytellingAsMedicine #PodcastLife #PersonalDevelopment #ConsciousLiving #GrowthMindset #MindfulnessMatters #VoicesOfUnity #InspirationDaily #podcast #podcasting #podcaster #podcastlife #podcastlove #podcastshow #podcastcommunity #newpodcast #podcastaddict #podcasthost #pdcastepisode #podcastinglife #podrecommendation #wellnesspodcast #healthpodcast #mentalhealthpodcast #wellbeing #selfcare #mentalhealth #mindfulness #healthandwellness #wellnessjourney #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #healthandwellnesspodcast #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #viral #trending #tiktok #tiktokviral #explore #trendingvideo #youtube #motivation #inspiration #positivity #mindset #selflove #success
144 episodes
Share
