If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.

Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.

His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.

Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.

Jon didn’t start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it’s real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.

Whether you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you’ll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.

Key Takeaways

1. Co-Parenting Doesn’t Start Perfect — It Evolves

Jon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.

2. Saying “Of Course” Isn’t About Your Ex — It’s About You

Your instinct is to say “no.” That’s human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.

3. Strategic Co-Parenting Helps You in Court

Morgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.

4. Letting Go Isn’t Weak — It’s Survival

Jon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn’t excusing behavior — it’s freeing yourself.

5. Your Why Keeps You Grounded

Co-parenting gets easier when you know why you’re doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.

Timestamps

00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”

00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”

00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you

00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce

01:12 — Why connecting with community matters

01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card conversation

02:15 — Morgan’s hilarious mic apology

03:06 — “Morgan Scorsese” (thanks, Steve)

03:40 — Why co-parenting can feel impossible

04:14 — Introducing guest Jon Bassford

04:53 — Jon’s unconventional upbringing + what didn’t work

05:39 — The truth: it wasn’t always peaceful

07:10 — How his childhood shaped his co-parenting philosophy

08:30 — Why the “bad dad schedule” is dying

10:22 — What co-parenting actually looks like in real life

11:05 — The messy middle: trash-talking, resentment, counseling

14:04 — How Jon began putting his son first

15:54 — Why outside opinions can derail progress

17:14 — What to do if your ex won’t cooperate

17:55 — The power of one “yes”

20:01 — Co-parenting with a narcissist, abuser, or difficult ex

20:55 — Using Our Family Wizard strategically

22:20 — What saying “of course” does to your nervous system

23:46 — Andrea on emotional regulation + your brain under threat

24:35 — Why counting overnights ruins everything

27:56 — Jon’s 3 action steps

30:01 — What “letting go” actually means

31:06 — The ghosts of past, present & future

32:38 — Jon’s book: The Co-Parenting Secret

34:55 — Baby steps: the real way co-parenting improves

35:40 — What everyone’s kids are eating (Lunchables, cheeseburgers, Walmart nuggets, god help us)

38:02 — The 6-7 meme takes over Halloween

38:48 — Closing thoughts + encouragement

40:52 — How to join the community + resources

41:09 — Final reminder: “You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.”

Episode Resources & Links

✨ Jon Bassford’s Book — The Co-Parenting Secret: It’s Not About You

https://a.co/d/69WVUaH

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✨ Andrea’s Famous Walmart Chicken Nuggets

Get them here!

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

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Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago