Best No Such Thing As A Fish Podcasts (2025)

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592: No Such Thing As A Cat In A Muumuu 54:26

Play Pause

5d ago54:26

54:26

Dan, James, Anna, and Andy discuss feline ads, Egyptian irons and the Hammer of the Scots. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon…

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23: Pastries 40:00

2d ago40:00

40:00

What on earth is a Piecaken? Why are some croissants curvy and some straight? Which pastry was invented by a literal idiot? With special guest Edd Kimber.By Lunchbox Envy

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Socks Off - Summer 2025 3:16

6d ago3:16

3:16

Send us a text This is not an episode You should not listen to this unless you want to know what will be happening over the next couple of months, or you just like the sound of our voices or something. Bit odd if you ask me. Anyway, has anyone seen Ross? I got this weird message from Valencio saying something about bondage? Better go and try to fin…

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22: Strawberries 37:27

10d ago37:27

37:27

What does the opposite of a strawberry taste like? Who liked to bathe in strawberry juice? What have strawberries got to do with a beaver's anal glands?By Lunchbox Envy

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Bonus: Wimbledon 13:10

13d ago13:10

13:10

Happy Wimbledon everyone! Who's got room for an extra-creamy second helping this week?By Lunchbox Envy

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591: No Such Thing As Anti-Schmetterling Schnibbles 56:30

12d ago56:30

56:30

Dan, James and Andy discuss shining holes, glittery voles, Baker's burial and Basque butterflies. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Get an exclusive 15% discount on Sai…

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 25 - Skip or Sing? 14:39

13d ago14:39

14:39

Send us a text This week our Socks; Ross and Simon, are joined by Tyler the social media creator (see what we did there?) and they're posing another of our randomly selected would you rather questions to him. Which would be more awkward, to have to skip everywhere or sing everything? Either way, funerals will never be the same again! So which would…

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21: Chocolate 36:21

17d ago36:21

36:21

When is Dairy Milk not chocolate? Whose chocolate taste like vomit? Where can you use KitKats as postcards?By Lunchbox Envy

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#109 The Heavy Lifting Issue 1:12:05

17d ago1:12:05

1:12:05

With Rhys exhausted from his seemingly endless UK standup tour - Buttons and Dan gallantly decide to do the heavy lifting this episode, and although a wonderful offer, it's not long before the weight becomes too much to bear... for us all! In issue you’ll find giant courting caves, dead dog clouds (and pizza), endangered hotel wake up calls, black …

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590: No Such Thing As Workshopping The Alphabet 52:03

19d ago52:03

52:03

Dan, James, Anna, and Andy discuss lit trees, unreal squirrels, banging drums and sick bags. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon…

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 24 - Silence is golden or back you aint holdin' 23:16

21d ago23:16

23:16

Send us a text This week, Ross and Simon are joined by the beautifully unfiltered Mike Batho from The Reclining Pair Podcast to wrestle with a hypothetical that could ruin friendships, family dinners, and job interviews alike. The choice is simple: Total Silence or Total Transparency. No filters. No secrets. Just raw, unedited brain nonsense 24/7. …

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20: Avocados 36:02

24d ago36:02

36:02

Why would you tattoo an avocado? Which bird has to vomit up the avocado stone before it can fly? How did avocado spark a row between Sainsbury's and M&S?By Lunchbox Envy

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589: No Such Thing As Dung Beetles In Madame Tussauds 51:56

27d ago51:56

51:56

James, Anna, Andy and Miles Jupp discuss wandering, wondering, cricket and critics. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreonBy No Such Thing As A Fish

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Episode 53 - Do Bees Even Have Knees? 1:02:29

28d ago1:02:29

1:02:29

Send us a text Bees! Bringers of life and pollination. Fuzzy cousin of the hateful-sting-bastard and all-round busy little Apis! But do they actually possess the idiomatic knees that are so often bandied about to convey brilliance? Are these “bee’s knees” a real anatomical feature, or just another bizarre phrase humans have cooked up during a sugar…

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19: Pizza 34:03

1M ago34:03

34:03

Who paid their rent in pizza? Where would you need a 3D-printed pizza? How do you make pizza with beer?By Lunchbox Envy

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588: No Such Thing As A Punk Monk 48:22

1M ago48:22

48:22

Live from the Nerdland Festival in Belgium, Dan, James, Anna, and Andy discuss swords, sheep, Samurai and scientific studies. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon…

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#108 The Animal Adjacent Issue 1:13:16

1M ago1:13:16

1:13:16

After the tangent filled 107 episode, It’s time for some top-tier tangent-free animal news! (With the disclaimer that 'tangent-free' excludes animal tangents - of which there are MANY!) In this issue, we get answers to the burning questions that we never wanted the answers to, like which host is the funniest? Which host is most likely to survive in…

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 23 - Ex Unicycle or Hate Filled Pogo Stick? AKA Doubling up on the Cuck 27:21

1M ago27:21

27:21

Send us a text ITS UNPRECEDENTED!! 1 Episode - 2 QUESTIONS! Yes, you read that right. This week our friend.... well, colleague.... this guy from work, Tom AKA T-Willy, has joined us to answer not one but two questions! Will he pick the Mega Ex over Hatred filled strangers? Will he pick Unicycle over Pogostick? Either way, recording live from his in…

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18: Olives 34:38

1M ago34:38

34:38

What did we use olive for before we ate them? What is the SPF of olive oil? Why should Americans be suspicious of Italian olive oil?By Lunchbox Envy

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587: No Such Thing As Chris Nibble 59:51

1M ago59:51

59:51

Anna, Andy, James and Rhys Darby discuss robots, railways, lost witches and found phones. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data …

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 22 - To Brow or not Two Brows? 27:22

1M ago27:22

27:22

Send us a text Eyebrows, what the fuck are they all about then? I mean what do they even really do? Well, whatever the answer may be, without them you, I, and everyone else, would look bloody weird! Then again, no one wants to be walking about with a giant caterpillar on their forehead right? Well, International man of comedy Michael Frankland has …

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17: Potatoes 34:47

1M ago34:47

34:47

How do you milk a potato? Can you survive on a potato-only diet? Why do potatoes make daughters-in-law cry?By Lunchbox Envy

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#107 The Stopped Pod Issue 1:13:28

2M ago1:13:28

1:13:28

STOP THE POD! But seriously, you should stop this pod before you even start it if any of the below applies: •You don’t enjoy 1 hour long advertisements •You do enjoy Cryptid content... or any content at all really •You prefer your Weekly World Weird News to have occured within the past three years. However, do get this pod going if you enjoy: •Conf…

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586: No Such Thing As A Levis Jury 58:17

2M ago58:17

58:17

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Socrates, Stansted, short wigs and long waves. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreonBy No Such Thing As A Fish

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 21 - Choose your knocker wisely! 28:14

2M ago28:14

28:14

Send us a text Knockers are great aren't they? Unfortunately, Ross has never seen Labyrinth, so is unaware of just how contradictory they can be! Sunjai Arif however understands all to well, and that's why this week's question is perfect for him. So which door will you choose, and which knocker will you be? Will you be the bringer of truth or the l…

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16: Wine 36:40

2M ago36:40

36:40

Does alcohol actually burn off when you cook with wine? Does more expensive wine actually taste better? How do you take communion in outer space?By Lunchbox Envy

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585: No Such Thing As The Paula Radcliffe Of F1 Racing 49:50

2M ago49:50

49:50

Dan, Anna and Andy discuss 420 plants, 10 towns, 2 tongues and 0 licences. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreonBy No Such Thing As A Fish

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Episode 52 - What The F*** are the Two of us Doing? 55:24

2M ago55:24

55:24

Send us a text Yikes! Self-indulgent bullshit alert! Like anyone cares about three, yes three, new games, or that one fact you throw in the middle Simon!? Yes, we're all very impressed with Ross' new theme tunes and his love of the Channel 84 crew, yadda, yadda, yadda. God, this episode is just two blokes self-fellating over their own podcast and t…

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15: Onions 36:39

2M ago36:39

36:39

Which is the wrong direction to cut onions in? How did Viking doctors use onions to save lives on the operating table? Why do capuchin monkeys go wild over onions?By Lunchbox Envy

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584: No Such Thing As Drinking A Sock Full Of Custard 58:06

2M ago58:06

58:06

Dan, James, Anna and John Lloyd discuss postcards, Picasso, Foley and Fossey. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use c…

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 20 - Mate or Date? 21:52

2M ago21:52

21:52

Send us a text Well, by now you all know the socks like to talk shit, but this time they really are "talking shit". Ross, Simon and guest Matt Roseblade are talking excrement, and lots of it. With a question of scatalogical proportions, the debate rages and eventually a decision must be made as to who's toilet will be getting blocked, your mate's o…

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14: Lemons 37:23

2M ago37:23

37:23

Why might your lemon not be vegan? How does a lemon affect your empathy? Who used lemons as a contraceptive?By Lunchbox Envy

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583: No Such Thing As A Tuna Macchiato 55:16

2M ago55:16

55:16

Dan, Anna, Andy and Rosie Holt discuss apes, art, anecdotes and Ancient Rome. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreonBy No Such Thing As A Fish

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 19 - Hair Brush or Skin Tissue 20:27

2M ago20:27

20:27

Send us a text This is easliy the grossest question yet, but *checks notes* Glenn Braley handles it with all the professionalism you'd expect from one of the south coast comedy scene's top hosts! The wheel of misfortune has delivered a doozy, and the boys aren't one to shy away from the nitty gritty of it. (Simon would like to apologise to everybod…

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13: Rice 37:54

2M ago37:54

37:54

Why do risotto spoons have holes in them? Why do rice farmers like ducks swimming in their fields? Why are we all so scared of reheating rice?By Lunchbox Envy

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582: No Such Thing As Siegfried Bassoon 55:48

3M ago55:48

55:48

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss particles, poems, plums, and Antonio da Ponte. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Us…

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Socks: On or Off? Episode 18 - Random Nude or Sexy-Talk Dude? 21:37

3M ago21:37

21:37

Send us a text This weeks question is saucier than Babs Windsor Camping and not only did our guest answer the question he ran with it. Join your usual Socks: Ross & Simon as they pose a conundrum to the dead-pan legend that is Simon from the A Pit of Chimps Podcast, who goes full steam ahead and plans an entire business model around his answer. Wil…

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12: Peanuts 34:14

3M ago34:14

34:14

How can you make peanuts dance? Which insect tastes great with peanut butter? Why is the most expensive jar of peanut butter the most average?By Lunchbox Envy

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581: No Such Thing As Clean Victoria 57:52

3M ago57:52

57:52

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy socks, squeezy toothpaste, Daniel Day Lewis, and Gandy. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon…