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The Long Take

Akhil Arora and Rohan Naahar

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Another movie podcast by two know-it-all guys—Akhil Arora and Rohan Naahar—killing their careers and burning bridges in Bollywood one review at a time. New episodes weekly.
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PHP Town Hall

Ben Edmunds, Matt Trask

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PHP Town Hall is a podcast from Ben Edmunds and Matt Trask that raises questions about current events (or upcoming things) in the PHP community, with different guests each episode.
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Software Engineer and Developer Advocate, Nic Raboy, shares all his tips and tricks to becoming a polyglot developer. Learn about the latest trends in web, mobile, and game development and how you can quickly get ahead in becoming an incredible developer. With a background in programming languages such as Java, Android, Node.js, and Golang and a background with frameworks such as Express, Ionic Framework, NativeScript, Zend Framework, and Apache Cordova, Nic Raboy is a polyglot with a lot to ...
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Anurag Kashyap’s Nishaanchi: Part 1 is a welcome return to form, and the long-awaited spiritual successor to Gangs of Wasseypur that his fans have been waiting for. We discuss the film’s complex approach to classic themes of revenge, betrayal, and jealousy, while also praising the central performances. Along the way, we commend Kashyap’s inimitable…
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Lokah Chapter 1: Chandra is perhaps the most overrated Indian movie of the year. We discuss the film’s inert narrative, jarring action, and inelegant world-building that includes an unnecessary detour into Kantara territory. We also talk about where the franchise could head next, and why it would immediately be better if merged with the Minnal Mura…
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Param Sundari, the new film starring Janhvi Kapoor and Sidharth Malhotra, seems to make things up as it goes along. We discuss the offensive cultural appropriation in every frame of the film, the odd motivations of its protagonists, and the film’s reliance on cultural stereotypes. We also talk about Janhvi Kapoor’s wardrobe, a potentially incendiar…
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Homebound, Neeraj Ghaywan’s second feature film in a decade, is well worth the wait. Already selected as India’s official entry for the 2026 Oscars, Homebound is just as moving as Ghaywan’s widely admired debut film, Masaan. We discuss its poetic storytelling, deeply empathetic eye, and the fabulous central performances of Vishal Jethwa and Ishaan …
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Inspector Zende, the new spoof movie starring Manoj Bajpayee and Jim Sarbh, succeeds as a concept but fails in execution. What could’ve been a homegrown homage to The Naked Gun comes across as a first draft in need of clever rewrites. While Bajpayee is going full ham in the central role, matching the movie’s energy, Sarbh seems to have been told to…
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Songs of Paradise is like a 1950s movie that has time-traveled to the present day. We discuss the film’s old-fashioned narrative and undemanding themes, the chasm of quality between Saba Azad and Sheeba Chaddha’s performances, and the limited ambition of writer-director Danish Renzu. Songs of Paradise could’ve worked as a metaphor for post-Independ…
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In the Tamil-language film Maareesan, the plot twist comes not at the end, but midway through. We talk about the sudden change in tone, and how the film handles it. We also discuss Fahadh Faasil’s comedic performance, and wonder why the film is presented through the perspective of his character. But mainly, we talk about the film’s shady morality, …
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Tehran—the new John Abraham political action thriller—literally cannot identify the country of Georgia on the map. The movie also goes out of its way to make its protagonist an apolitical man who somehow annoys the governments of three nations, including his own. We discuss the film’s muddled messaging, its bizarre third act, and the arrogance with…
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Sitaare Zameen Par—marketed as the spiritual sequel to Aamir Khan’s 2007 hit Taare Zameen Par—is a shoddily made, preachy, borderline insensitive film with a noble mission. However, just because it aims to raise awareness about an admirable cause doesn’t excuse its cringeworthy tone, Khan and Genelia Deshmukh’s subpar performances, and its casual o…
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Is Dharma trying to actively sabotage Ibrahim Ali Khan’s career? After the unwatchable Nadaaniyan, the studio has released the equally inept Sarzameen, a feature-length debut for director Kayoze Irani. We discuss the film’s unintelligent characters and confusing narrative, and wonder if most of it was left on the cutting room floor. We also talk ab…
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The Malayalam-language sports comedy film Alappuzha Gymkhana has no stakes, no villain, and no classic structure. This could either have been a bold decision or an act of self-sabotage. It’s somewhere in the middle. We talk about the film’s underdeveloped characters, its over-reliance on flashy camerawork, and its overlong second half. We also disc…
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After producing two movies about a hyper-masculine cop who literally lynches people, Nikkhil Advani has attached himself as an executive producer to Stolen, the new survival thriller on Prime Video. In addition to Advani, the movie needed the support of heavy hitters such as Anurag Kashyap, Kiran Rao, and Vikramaditya Motwane in order to get a rele…
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Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning may or may not be Tom Cruise’s final time playing IMF agent Ethan Hunt, but the movie is certainly not worthy of taking on sendoff responsibilities. We discuss its two standout action set pieces, convoluted plot, and how it compares to its predecessor, Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning. We also talk abou…
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No diplomacy takes place in the new John Abraham film The Diplomat, which is now streaming on Netflix after a theatrical run earlier this year. While Abraham doesn’t throw any punches in the film, The Diplomat is hardly a toned-down drama for adults. We discuss the film’s odd narrative choices, unnecessary non-linear writing, and the absolute misca…
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Weeks after Nadaaniyan that starred his son, Saif Ali Khan’s Jewel Thief: The Heist Begins—inexplicably—further lowers the bar for Netflix India. We struggle to talk meaningfully about the heist movie and instead find ourselves discussing Netflix’s terrible track record in India. We wonder why an actor of Jaideep Ahlawat’s talent would put himself …
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The United Nations should probably intervene and impose sanctions on streamers for wasting over $300 million on movies like The Electric State. Directed by Joe and Anthony Russo—the guys behind Avengers: Endgame and Infinity War—the film somehow lowers the bar for them even further, after the one-two punch of The Gray Man and Citadel. It’s remarkab…
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In Superboys of Malegaon, director Reema Kagti unites three talented male actors in an inspiring story about ambition and friendship. But was she the ideal person for the job? We discuss the film’s sanitised storytelling, its formulaic narrative, and writer Varun Grover seemingly playing it safe. We also talk about the abundance of characters and t…
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Is Mrs., the Hindi-language remake of the acclaimed Malayalam film The Great Indian Kitchen, a better exploration of the same ideas? We discuss the ways in which Mrs. improves upon the original and the ways in which it falls short. We also praise Sanya Malhotra’s central performance and highlight the flourishes that director Arati Kadav brings to h…
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Ahead of the Oscar nominations, we discuss one of the most acclaimed films of 2024, writer-director Payal Kapadia’s All We Imagine as Light. We talk about the film’s bittersweet exploration of urban loneliness and the migrant experience, its depiction of Mumbai, and Kapadia’s command over tone. We also talk about the bold mid-movie pivot and how it…
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Jigra, the new film by Vasan Bala, combines his trademark cine-literate sensibilities with mainstream Bollywood tropes. The odd combination makes for an interesting discourse about the film’s broad sentimentality, its genre credentials, and storytelling that is both contrived and confident. We discuss Bala’s balancing act and whether it works. Alon…
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Deadpool & Wolverine, the only Marvel Cinematic Universe movie this year, levels up in terms of budget but isn't bothered about evolving emotionally. We discuss the film’s relentless humour, the ugly CGI, and the confusingly complicated plot. There’s time for self-reference, but not for self-reflection in the Deadpool films, as Ryan Reynolds contin…
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Stree 2 is an overlong, unfunny, and ultimately unnecessary sequel that has no idea how to deliver scares or laughs. Every scene in the film goes on for too long, the jokes are repeated to the point of redundancy, and some of the diversions are baffling to behold. Why is Akshay Kumar in this? How old is Tamannaah Bhatia’s character? Why are there n…
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Vikramaditya Motwane’s fascination with genre cinema continues. But his latest film, CTRL, isn't exactly going to win him any new fans. We discuss the film’s mess of a script, which tries to cram in way too many ideas than it needed to. We also talk about its elaborate conspiracy thriller section and its melancholic third act. Along the way, we pra…
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Kottukkaali, writer-director P.S. Vinothraj’s follow-up to the acclaimed Koozhangal, divided us down the middle. We speak about the techniques Vinothraj uses to tell an ever-evolving, odyssey-like story about a group of people accompanying a young woman to her exorcism. We discuss the brief bursts of horror and comedy and talk about the larger poin…
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Sector 36 is a gratuitously grisly dramatisation of the gruesome Nithari serial murders from around two decades ago. But because it unfolds with zero nuance, the movie mines cheap thrills out of a real-life horror story. We talk about the strange arcs that Vikrant Massey and Deepak Dobriyal’s characters have been given, the haphazard narrative stru…
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Kill might be one of the rare movies that actually benefit from a remake—that’s how royally it fumbles both its action and revenge plot. We discuss the film’s indecipherable approach to close combat, the lead actor Lakshya’s wooden performance, and the lack of inventiveness in the story. We also talk about the unearned John Wick and The Raid compar…
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The year’s biggest Indian hit, Kalki 2898 AD, is just as irredeemable as Prabhas’ other recent films. But unlike those movies, this one barely features Prabhas at all and drags on for three hours without offering a single character you can latch on to. We talk about the film’s poor construction, subpar world-building, and superficial writing. We al…
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Angry Young Men, the three-part documentary about writers Salim Khan and Javed Akhtar’s partnership, is a massive missed opportunity. We discuss the show’s cagey approach to its legendary subjects, the overwhelming feeling of self-satisfaction, and the unearned points it tries to score for highlighting the plight of writers in the film business. We…
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Chandu Champion finds director Kabir Khan returning to 83 territory, for better or worse. We talk about the film’s shoddy storytelling structure, its complete lack of interest in developing its protagonist, and its over-reliance on crutches like music and contrivances. We also discuss Khan’s tendency to underestimate his audiences’ intellect and hi…
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In Phir Aayi Hasseen Dillruba, Taapsee Pannu and Vikrant Massey return as the murderous couple of hell who were introduced in 2021’s Haseen Dillruba. The sequel boasts an entirely different visual aesthetic and its romantic-thriller tone stands in contrast to the tongue-in-cheek pulpiness of the first film. We discuss what a huge mistake this is, w…
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Longlegs is the rare psychological horror movie that truly gets under your skin. Featuring an instantly iconic performance by Nicolas Cage, the movie creates an ominous atmosphere with the help of a measured pace and an unsettling reliance on silence. We discuss the film’s grounded first act and its rapid descent into full-blown supernatural horror…
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They might as well have called Maharaj “Junaid Khan’s Launch Vehicle” because naming it after the villain makes even less sense. We discuss the film’s many irredeemable flaws, which include shaming the victim of sexual abuse, projecting a red flag male character as the protagonist, and resorting to the problematic trope of “fridging.” We also talk …
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In its third and potentially final season, Kota Factory seems to be responding to past criticism. We discuss the show’s sudden bout of self-reflection, and the confused manner in which it examines the harsh realities of towns like Kota and the industries they service. We also talk about its aversion to human moments, and why the handful of them thi…
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Dibakar Banerjee is going to have to make two good movies to compensate for whatever hellish assault on the senses Love Sex Aur Dhokha 2 was. We discuss the film’s muddled social commentary, the frustration oozing out of every frame, and the general incoherence of the arguments. We also compare LSD2’s aesthetic and thematic shortfalls, especially w…
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Crew, the new heist movie starring Tabu, Kareena Kapoor Khan, and Kriti Sanon, effectively weaponises middle-class angst against corporate overlords. We praise the film’s dedication to punching up, the instant relatability that it is able to generate for its characters, and its tightly constructed first half. But we also criticise its endless produ…
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Writer-director Kunal Kemmu’s Madgaon Express smartly avoids taking the sleazy route and mostly succeeds in finding the soul of its cartoonish characters. We talk about the film’s familiar set-up, and how it transports a Hangover-like premise to India. We also discuss the performances of Divyenndu, Pratik Gandhi and Avinash Tiwary, while noting the…
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Heeramandi: The Diamond Bazaar, director Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s big-budget streaming debut, is yet another high-profile Netflix failure. A summation and culmination of Bhansali’s lifelong ambitions, the show represents everything that is wrong with his sensibilities and style-over-substance storytelling. We discuss the show’s flawed understanding …
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In addition to being a thought-provoking movie about how close we are to disintegrating as a society, Alex Garland’s Civil War is a rollicking cinematic experience. We discuss the film’s affection for journalism, the intricate character work that Garland is able to accomplish via action sequences, and the film’s stand-out moments. One of them invol…
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Is Amar Singh Chamkila a long-awaited return to form for director Imtiaz Ali, or is it another let-down from the once-promising filmmaker? We discuss the film’s inventive approach to the music biopic genre, if not narratively then at least formally. We also talk about Diljit Dosanjh and Parineeti Chopra’s central performances as the slain husband-w…
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Aattam, the latest Malayalam-language gem that further solidifies the industry’s artistic stronghold on the cinema landscape of the country, offers an inventive spin on the whodunnit genre. We discuss the film’s gripping narrative, ambitious social commentary, and director Anand Ekarshi’s bold voice. We also talk about the many moral quandaries tha…
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Is Fighter another in the long and increasingly problematic line of hyper-nationalistic Indian action movies, or is its biggest problem that it can’t look beyond star Hrithik Roshan? We discuss the many missteps that director Siddharth Anand makes in his follow-up to Pathaan, the unnecessary songs and the momentum-killing asides, but we also talk a…
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Murder Mubarak lowers the bar even further for Netflix India, and feels like a particularly annoying missed opportunity. We talk about the inept filmmaking, the strange structure, and the over-the-top performances of its ensemble cast. We also wonder how the finished film can look like something that was snatched away from director Homi Adajania an…
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Merry Christmas, director Sriram Raghavan’s follow-up to the critical and commercial hit Andhadhun, is nothing to celebrate. We discuss the film’s lack of discernible aesthetic, the complete absence of any spark between stars Katrina Kaif and Vijay Sethupathi, and its baffling climax. Along the way, we discuss the decision to reduce an important ch…
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Dune: Part Two is being called one of the greatest sequels ever made. It isn’t. We discuss the problems that we’ve had with both Dune films, our issues with their cold tone, the seemingly rushed plot despite a nearly three-hour run-time, and the sheer number of characters to keep track of. But we also appreciate director Denis Villeneuve’s handling…
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All India Rank, the feature directorial debut of Varun Grover, is a refreshing change of pace for Bollywood, but still not as good as it could have been. We discuss all the ways in which the coming-of-age drama avoids making the same mistakes as 12th Fail or Kota Factory, its ability to evoke a particular time and place, and its reliance on tried-a…
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Dunki, the third and final Shah Rukh Khan film of 2023, wastes all the goodwill he had built with Pathaan and Jawan. Directed by Rajkumar Hirani, Dunki ranks among the worst films we’ve covered on the podcast and is outdated to the point of being offensive. We talk about the film’s most insensitive scenes, Hirani’s disinterest in taking real-life g…
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Bhakshak, starring Bhumi Pednekar, is the latest socially conscious call-to-action from Shah Rukh Khan’s production company, and even though it’s a more grounded film, its sensibilities aren’t too dissimilar from Jawan. We discuss what we liked and disliked about the film’s portrayal of hyperlocal journalism, its depiction of real-life atrocities, …
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Joram, the fourth feature film from director Devashish Makhija, juggles multiple tones and narratives. But is it successful at it? We discuss Manoj Bajpayee’s mostly silent central performance as a displaced tribal man running for his life, and the film’s heavy handed socio-political commentary. We also wonder if the movie would’ve worked better as…
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Animal, starring Ranbir Kapoor, is hardly as offensive as director Sandeep Reddy Vanga probably intended it to be, but it’s aggravating on many levels nonetheless. We discuss the film’s infantile approach to its themes and Vanga’s dedication to being edgy at the expense of storytelling and character development. We also talk about the film’s unbear…
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Is Salaar the worst movie we’ve covered on the podcast? It might be. We discuss the incomprehensible plotting, Prashanth Neel’s overwhelming direction, and debate about the film’s three major action set-pieces. We also eat our words about Salman Khan’s dedication and Zack Snyder’s poor world-building after having seen a disengaged Prabhas and an un…
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