When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when they get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at…

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr. Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who ca…

When Captain Archer gets bad news involving A.G. Robinson and a mountain, his solo away mission to a dark matter nebular turns into story time with T’Pol in the the middle seat. But when she learns about their rivalry and how Robinson influenced Archer’s career, she suggests naming their big beautiful nebula after him as a fitting final tribute. Wh…

When a team of Lennie scientists finds Borgsicles under the ice, thawing them out and getting too close leads to new urges around base camp. But when the Entrepreneur gets sent to intercept by Admiral Forrest, Archer blows up their damn ship after closing the First Contact loop. Who needs to look at their own messy-ass starships? What’s the best wa…

When the Entrepreneur stops by a hypergiant star, they get to know a gregarious alien species that’s very generous with their tech. But when the two captains take a field trip and Tucker goes rouge with a Vissian, the implications for First Contact put everyone on the edge. How high can the writers’ room count? Where do cogenitors poop at the airpo…

When a group of Denobulan scientists needs rescuing underground, an away team covered in spelunking gear explores a different type of Star Trek cave. But when an injured Antaran refuses treatment by Dr. Phox, Captain Know-It-All forces them to take one small step toward reconciliation. What is the golden death triangle of sadness? How do you keep a…

When the Entrepreneur gets diverted to watch some hot space action, Mayweather asks for leave to visit his family on the Horizon. But when his father’s sudden death places Paul Mayweather in a position of authority, working together to save the ship from space pirates gives the brothers hope for the future. How does Travis maintain his abs? What ar…

When Archer gets put on trial for helping refugees in need, his simple country Klingon lawyer requires some inspiration to mount a defense. But when the magistrate’s ruling doesn’t feel like justice, a courtroom outburst sends both of them to the dilithium mines. What’s the spiky bird of Qo'noS? How do Klingon courts make money? Where was Kolos bor…

When MaxFun Drive is around the corner and the Friends of DeSoto have questions, Ben and Adam sit down with producer Wynde to see what answers they can find. But when all of the accessories are the same color and video game lines get drawn in the sand, nostalgia and redundancy keep the pod sausage factory humming. Which aircraft probably costs extr…

When a huge chode ship approaches the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer assembles a team to investigate its gaping maw immediately. But when wispy beings start inhabiting members of the crew, their strange experiences and after-school special behavior make another mass retreat to the catwalk necessary. How could Reed be caught unawares? Which wisp shoul…

When Captain Archer and Commander Tucker get snatched out of their shuttlepod, they’re placed on a prison transport ship with an unspeakably dangerous criminal. But when his Con Air plan goes into action and Archer somehow manages to impress him, refusing to go back to Canamar is the last decision he’ll make. Whose poop is so hard that it snapped a…

When the Entrepreneur finds a tin can tumbling through space, they bring it aboard and start dropping things down its impossibly deep hatch. But when the Suliban and the Tholians both show up and start fighting over the pod, unknown future people finally collect their shit after which the NX-01 isn’t even worth a torpedo. When does an extra 5mm mak…

When the Vulcans and the Andorians start fighting over the same shitty planet, Captain Archer gets called in on special diplomatic duty and no one really knows why. But when Shran releases a hostage and tries to open a conversation with Ambassador Soval, Suzie Plakson breaks rank and reveals she’s a war-hungry anti-Vulcite. Which superhero do you w…

When T’Pol is feeling a little green under the gills, Dr. Phlox starts telling professional lies to advance the treatment of her terminal condition. But when the Vulcans find out about her stigmatized status, there’s barely time to measure the man before one of their doctors blurts out both of their secrets. Which character is least likely to beat …

When Commander Tucker gets shot down on a solo mission, there just happens to be a moon for him and his attacker to crash land on. But when they have to work together to get a message to the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer mounts a joint rescue operation and comes by his diplomatic success with the Arkonians honestly. Which classic 90s movie needs a p…

When the Entrepreneur’s entire crew compliment has to move into the ship’s nacelles, the dangerous storm and the lack of personal space puts everyone on edge. But when the alien visitors who warned them about the wave turn out to be AWOL deserters, the militia men trying to steal the ship almost take their game of pollo with Captain Archer too far.…

This episode is part of a project called the Star Trek Pod Crawl. We’re a group of Star Trek podcasts raising money for science education by banding together and making special episodes about some of our favorite Star Trek films. Join us in supporting the National Center for Science Education and check out all other great podcast episodes in this s…

When Commander Tucker gets voluntold to repair an alien cryo-chamber, the beautiful woman inside turns out to be both a prisoner and a prissy storybook princess. But when they make their escape and land on a bog planet, a roll in the mud gets them to a place of mutual affection. When is Archer a good captain? What’s the next step after the internat…

When Hoshi and Trip take their very first transporter ride, Commander Tucker goes first and Hoshi feels shaken up when she rematerializes on the ship. But when no one is listening and she starts to actually disappear, her extremely anxious dream logic reveals what she thinks about her colleagues. What special skill does Linda Park have on the back …

When the Entrepreneur pulls up to a swirly space system, the radiation it emits strickens the crew with a variety of mundane obsessions. But when T’Pol is unaffected and has to navigate them out, Reed being his regular self makes it possible for them to escape. What’s Ro Laren’s favorite episode of Enterprise? Who is the Chief O’Brien of the NX-01?…

When an away team returns from a pre-warp field trip, Reed realizes he didn’t do an idiot check before loading back into the shuttlepod. But when they return for the communicator with predictably terrible OPSEC, getting punched in the face repeatedly make the potential for cultural contamination so much worse. What does D’rone have for breakfast ev…

When a new batch of gremlins graphically burst out of Gizmo’s back, Billy and Kate do everything they can to keep them from overrunning the Clamp Center. But when some experimental mutagens create a bevy of mutant gremlins, they threaten to overrun the streets of New York City. Is bat gremlin the gremlin we deserve, and not the gremlin we need? Wha…

When a secret mission from the Vulcan High Command brings another of T’Pol’s past lives into focus, Captain Archer acts like a petulant baby until she invites him along to help out. But once they find Menos on an icy moon, T’Pol’s pickle-brine memories test the developing trust between her and Archer. Where do Vulcans keep their information? What’s…

When the Entrepreneur stops at a deuterium mining colony, the very stressed out miners don’t seem willing to sell. But when Trip offers to help with facility repairs, Archer insists on teaching a man how to murder his bullies. Which cartoon character definitely has bodies? What could these Klingons use more of? Why is T’Pol keeping her badass-ness …

When Captain Archer brings Porthos on an important diplomatic mission, peeing on a sacred tree earns the Kreetassans another elaborate apology. But when the pathogen Porthos picked up turns him into a puppet, Dr. Phlox starts digging into the psychology of Archer’s hot-headed reactions. Does the actor who plays Porthos have a side hustle? Who is a …

When the Entrepreneur puts out a general distress call, what they get back are coordinates for a repair station nearby. But when they show up to find that nobody’s home, the price might seem too good to be true but the ship’s torpedos finally get to save the day. What’s the best way to mask the smell of fireworks? Where can you still find a Bunn co…

When the Entrepreneur wanders into an invisible minefield, a great big bomb blows open the ship before a second mine gets stuck to a sensitive part of the hull. But when Romulans arrive and start making threats, Reed’s near-death experience trying to diffuse the ordinance doesn’t bring him closer to the crew. What makes the A220 a great plane? Wher…

When Captain Archer and Commander Tucker ask T’Pol for a good dinner story, she tells them about the ancient Vulcans who crashed on Earth before first contact. But when her great-grandmother’s rescue doesn’t arrive for many months, one of the Vulcans learns to love the bomb while the others can’t wait to get off Sputnik-era Earth. What are the two …

When Captain Archer and Agent Daniels are stuck in the future, they scrounge up the raw materials to communicate with the past. But with Suliban in control of the Entrepreneur, Commander Tucker hot wires everyone’s doorbells so that Hoshi can Die Hard through the vents to retake the ship. Which art project is dripping glue? What takes more techniqu…

When the Entrepreneur arrives to make contact with a matriarchal culture, their careful shuttlepod approach results in blowing up the damn colony. But when the crew is in shock and can’t explain what happened, Daniels takes Captain Archer time traveling to prove their innocence with evidence from a cloaked Suliban ship. What needs to be added to th…

When an obviously rigged lottery decides who gets to go down to Risa, Captain Archer checks into his villa and starts peeping on an age-appropriate neighbor. But after Reed and Tucker’s encounter at the club leaves them stripped, hungover, and embarrassed, Hoshi’s aspirational vacation is the only one that ends without consequences. How is Risa lik…

When the Entrepreneur picks up a distress signal from Clancy Brown’s ship, they stop to help with repairs and he invites them to postpone their vacation again. But when Captain Archer’s reputation leads Trip to think they may have been honey-potted, the implications of taking sides in other peoples’ wars is something they finally start to consider.…

When the Entrepreneur gets an Uber mission that delays their trip to Risa, the Vulcan Ambassador who comes aboard is a pretty cool old lady. But when her rap sheet puts the ship at risk, Archer finally gets need-to-know status just in time to learn a not very salacious secret. What should Reed do with the ship’s torpedos? Where are new Greatest Gen…

When some free-floating space ropes find their way into the Entrepreneur’s cargo bay, several crew members get caught up in a sticky situation. But when Reed can’t blast the alien into releasing its hostages, Hoshi and T’Pol start communicating just in time to return the ropes home. How is the popcorn technology of the future superior? Which depart…

When Archer and Mayweather wake up in an internment camp, their preconceptions about the Suliban diaspora get shattered by the prisoners they meet. But when Colonel Grat comes down hard on the Captain’s sense of justice, the ambiguity of their escape plan goes completely unexplored. What does Kevin Uxbridge wear on a blind date? Which character cou…

When nobody invited Ben and Adam to program a film festival, they decide to go rouge and put one together themselves. But after Ridley Scott’s sci-fi classic almost gave them both a seizure, they’re more prepared to see the franchise’s latest release at the theater. What isn’t practical to bring aboard the Nostromo? Who can sit with both jocks and …

When Tom Bergeron comes aboard for a segment of Hot Ones In Space, he tells the crew about a crashed vessel that has the raw materials they need. But when the away team shuttles down and T’Pol discovers a grow-op behind a panel wall, the marooned survivors they meet have a secret in need of a punch-up. What’s the Mike of the Alpha Quadrant? How sho…

When an artifact of unknown origin knocks out the entire crew, one underwear-clad Commander Tucker remains conscious in the decon chamber. But when the criminals come aboard with their heist carts and Santa sacks, Captain Archer plays their hierarchy to his advantage while Trip tries to yes and. Where could paper-based old person games help tell th…

When the Entrepreneur happens upon a rogue planet, they bring their night-vision monocles down to the surface and find their dad’s friend’s campsite. But when Captain Archer meets a super hot wraith who needs saving in the jungle, leveling the hunting field becomes his top priority. What technology should be available to us in 2024? How do you get …

When the Entrepreneur gets a hail from some unusual Vulcans, Captain Archer invites them aboard for some chicken marsala. But when T’Pol gets curious about their walk-and-chew-gum-at-the-same-time philosophy, a very hard sell from Tolaris lands her in sicksbay. Who wants to shoot ropes in Ben’s childhood bedroom? Is there a diet Riker among the cre…

When Tucker and Reed return from an away mission to find wreckage from the NX-01, their busted shuttlepod systems leave them stranded with just a few days of air. But when facing their mortality in different ways leads to very un-immaculate vibes, getting drunk and blowing up their engine are two of the three things they can agree on. What do power…

When T’Pol takes the fall for the Andorians attacking P’Jem, Captain Archer’s final attempt at a hang gets them both kidnapped by rebels. But when the crew’s rescue mission gets Tucker and Reed jumped too, Shran’s sense of indebtedness pays out double for the Entrepreneur. What heightens the urgency of being tied up with a colleague? Which food pre…

When the Entrepreneur finds an alien ship sinking into a gas giant, the away team gets trapped in its gravity well due mostly to Captain Archer’s general thirstiness. But when his white knight routine doesn’t work out (again), finally doing his Klingon homework gives him the upper hand. Which is the only black void on the NX-01? What gets Porthos o…

When the Entrepreneur hails a ship that doesn’t respond, Captain Archer decides to grab the sickly aliens aboard and bring them back for treatment. But when the cure for their genetic malaise creates an ethical dilemma, Dr. Phlox has his first professional disagreement with Captain Archer. How do you get a Doctor into your social circle? What’s not…

When Captain Archer tries to hail a mysterious alien ship, it leaves without hitting triangle on the Entrepreneur. But when it returns for a noisy scan that leaves the ship stranded, Archer starts to have some doubts about space exploration without key weps. What are Yuban coffee cans good for? Does Ben have a favorite order at any given restaurant…

When the Entrepreneur stops to ‘sup some aliens at a stellar nursery, one of the guests they invite aboard knows exactly how to save them from destruction. But when crew member Daniels claims to be from the future, Captain Archer has to decide which time traveler to trust. Why would a person bring two things to a party? What’s the wrong order of be…

When the Entrepreneur gets sent to help a freighter in distress, its acting captain is a bit of a base-model Toyota Corolla enthusiast. But when a friendly check-in from a Maritime standpoint starts seeming more suspicious, Captain Archer outlaws frontier justice and Mayweather convinces his boomer twin to release the Nausicaan hostage. What’s the …

When the Entrepreneur gets within range of an inhabited planet, an away team shuttles down to learn more about its plain-ass inhabitants. But when another alien on the DL has contaminated the town with lube, Captain Archer finds a secret bunker and shuts his mining operation down. Who isn’t scared of a handheld crossbow? Does Trip have another area…

When Enterprise discovers a great big comet, Captain Archer sends a team to get a closer look. But when a personal matter involving T’Pol threatens her future on the ship, her professional opportunities may be frozen as well. What color is an embarrassed Vulcan? How many dick pics is a doctor allowed to have? Does IDIC apply to snowmen? It’s the ep…

When Captain Archer wants to visit a tragically chill monastery, the away team beams down just in time for a hostage situation. But when the Andorians can’t find the hidden technology they’re looking for, a strategic beating and fire fight leads everyone to the reliquary. What was Roxann Dawson’s boldest directing choice? Which encyclopedia doesn’t…