Best Slurm Podcasts (2025)

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S6 E18: Foreskin Fan Fiction 1:14:40

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8h ago1:14:40

1:14:40

Season 6 Episode 18: Forsaken Listeners, it's been a minute. Our apologies for the DELAY! The Gate was shut. The Iris was closed, General Daddy was on Vacation. . . In any case, we back. And hanging out at the Vertical Watering O for a humdinger of an episode. Despite being mostly an annoyed Jack O'neil, a pestered Sam Carter, and a Jonas Quinn who…

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S6 E17: The Adventures of General Daddy and his Major D! 1:07:19

4M ago1:07:19

1:07:19

Season 6 Episode 17: Disclosure You know, back in 2003, and even further back, Recap Episodes served a purpose. We had know binging of every episode, nor rewatching episodes to fill ourselves back in. We lived lives, people! Got no time. If we forgot how many times Sg-1 had saved the planet, or the Intragalactic military strategy of Goul'd Lords, o…

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S6 E16: Sploosh-Gate 1:19:40

4M ago1:19:40

1:19:40

Season 6 Episode 16: Metamorphosis It's SPLOOSHIN TIME! The Russian team bring some jabroni to the Base. He splooshes into alien goo, so the Gang go investigate his planet. There's a bunch of weird looking Cultists of Nirrti who swear to their mothers that it's all good, we have sagging faces, and half mustaches, BUUUUUT, Nirrti is a God and we lov…

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S6 E15: Stargate SG-1: A Brom-Com 1:20:09

6M ago1:20:09

1:20:09

Season 6 Episode 15: Paradise Lost Kids, Hallmark's got nothing on this episode. You want to see a flirty will-they-won't-they burgeon into a full fledge Bromance on the edge of space!? Full of lakeside chats, paranoid professions of love, and spiced up Arugula that might have a psychotropic effect, this episode will rekindle your belief in true, u…

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S6 E14: The Teal'c Torture Treatment 1:15:06

6M ago1:15:06

1:15:06

Season 6 Episode 14: Smoke and Mirrors Jack is a cold-blooded Assassin! Shooting Kinsey, offloading the gun, and whistling dixie right back at work as if nothing happened! And his alibi of "fishing at the lake" doesn't cut it, cause we all know says yes to his entreaties to go fish. Well, General Daddy believes him, and sends out the gang on variou…

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S6 E13: Jonas and the Big Red Bee 1:30:30

7M ago1:30:30

1:30:30

Season 6 Episode 13: Sight Unseen Okay, so, the gang find a big bug zapper on a planet. They come back, Jonas starts seeing CGI bugs everywhere (not everywhere, like TWO of them). The rest of the gang gaslight his ass, forgetting about the three episodes before where this same thing happened. Long story short, Colorado Springs gets put on a half-as…

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S6 E12: The Last Footwear to Fall Pt. 2 1:16:07

8M ago1:16:07

1:16:07

Season 6 Episode 12: Unnatural Selection Guys, We don't know how or why Hilo from BSG is ALSO a (basically) Cylon in the Stargate Universe, but we're not going to question our good fortune. We are going to question a couple other things, however. Like why the Replicators ALL just chillin here? What is the weakness these new Cylon Bots are trying to…

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S6 E11: Don't send a Davis to do a Daddy's Job 1:12:30

9M ago1:12:30

1:12:30

Season 6 Episode 11: Prometheus P1 Hey, listeners. We are SOOOOO SORRRYYYY about the delay in uploads. Computers were being repaired, families being attended to, authoritarian regimes to be readied for, you know how it goes. Thanks for coming back. Anyway, this is a pretty sweet episode about some Rogue Rogue NID, Simmons, and a Gou'ld putting one …

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S6 E10; Pageantanarian Slurm! 1:31:11

11M ago1:31:11

1:31:11

Season 6 Episode 9: Cure So the gang go and visit a civilization that are DEF not Nazis! Weird as hell, tho. They got a super drink that cures diseases, and all they want in return is our rolodex of Goul'd Planets. The gang is cautious. Then Jonas and Teal'c break into a warehouse, and Here There Be Gou'lds, all swimmin in the pools. The Slurm is f…

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S6 E9: Mojo Dojo Tokra House 1:21:13

12M ago1:21:13

1:21:13

Season 6 Episode 9: Allegiance Folks, we got 3 factions (Tokra, Jaffa, Tau'ri) who all hate each other, in an unsafe and volatile environment, and being led by O'neill of all people. What. Could. Go. Wrong! The Predator. That's what! Pretty fun episode. ----more---- 00:00 - Intro 6:54 - 24 Seconds 7:49 - Episode Debrief 1:05:36 - Were We Comforted …

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S6 E8: Butt-Snorkeling Extreme!! 1:20:49

1y ago1:20:49

1:20:49

Season 6 Episode 8: The Other Guys This is the Red Shirts Episode! Where a couple of nerds and SG-1 Fanboys decide they need to rescue the Gang from the clutches of a Gou'ld. Things somehow go their way as they clamour through air ducts, and find the prison cell. O'neill's PISSED though, as this was all part of a secret plan (which they failed to t…

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S6 E7: With Colonics Like These. . .! 1:06:15

1y ago1:06:15

1:06:15

Season 6 Episode 7: Shadow Play The gang roll back to the Planet Colonic where the continent Jonas Quinn is from wants to trade some of their Naquadria for some of our sweet ass guns and planes. Apparently a big war is brewing between the three continents and poor Colonic is the odd one out. That's all the backstory we get though, cause we're too b…

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S6 E6: The Worst Groundhog Day 1:11:20

1y ago1:11:20

1:11:20

Season 5 Episode 6: The Abyss When O'neil is kidnapped by Balls and is horrifically tortured and killed and brought back to life in a neverending loop, Daniel Jackson rolls in, now an ethereal angel, and does the only thing that a Best Friend does when their Friend is going through such trials and tribulations: Asks him to join his Cult! Meanwhile …

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S6 E5: SG - Noir 1:12:07

1y ago1:12:07

1:12:07

Season 5 Episode 6: Nightwalkers Samantha Scully, Jonas Mulder, and Teal'X visit a normal Oregon town, and get all weirded out when everyone's a little stand off-ish and wearing just flannel. Hello!? This is 2002 PNW. Nothing to see here. Well, there is a bit. A shady biotech company, missing persons, and sleepwalking Gou'ld babies. Oh wait, still …

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S6 E4: Darwin Would Be Crushed! 1:18:22

1y ago1:18:22

1:18:22

Season 6 Episode 4: Frozen Kids, do you like the movie The Thing? How about Prometheus? Is The Fifth Element your favorite movie? If yes to any and all, you will like this episode. It's got isolated bases in Antarctica. It's got defrosting alien life forms. It's got philosophical queries into the origins of the human species. And most importantly, …

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S6 E3: The Accidental Trojan Horse Episode 1:14:25

1+ y ago1:14:25

1:14:25

Season 6 Episode 3: The Descent So the gang find themselves in the Anubis Ship where Thor was interrogated, and ultimately, digitized. See, it ended up around Earth, and while that poses some serious plot holes, we don't think about it. What we do focus on is the random Jaffa who code the ship to crash into the Ocean, the sweet water scenes where e…

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S6 E2: You're Creepin Me Out McKay! 1:17:12

1+ y ago1:17:12

1:17:12

Season 6 Episode 1: Redemption (Part 2) Mean Girl Dr. McKay gets so humbled and allows Carter to finally really see Jonas Quinn, the Daniel Jackson who was right under the Gate Gang’s noses all along! He gets a major glow up and kind of saves the day, total Prom Queen vibes. Since Teal’c was plot deviced off world, he’s able to get to Anubis and de…

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S6 E1: The Daniel Auditions 1:28:20

1+ y ago1:28:20

1:28:20

Season 6 Episode 1: Redemption P1 Jonas Quinn of planet Colonics slow walks down the stairs and he is beautiful!! Just kidding, he’s still mousy and just the sociopolitical nerd next door. SG-1 is looking for a Prom Queen. All while being spammed electronically by a new Anubis weapon! They even bring back slimey McKay to also not figure out what to…

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S5 E22: I am Become Death, Destroyer of Thors 1:15:05

1+ y ago1:15:05

1:15:05

Season 5 Episode 22: Revelations The most important thing that happens in this episode is seeing a 30,000-year-old Asgard found in stasis on an old ship because remember how they’re degrading from over-cloaning themselves? They HELLA undersold that. Thor gets mind-melded to Anubis’s ship and the Asgard calvary show up and chase away Anubis so, that…

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S5 E21: Why don't you Glow Me!? 1:25:55

1+ y ago1:25:55

1:25:55

Season 5 Episode 21: Meridian Daniel Jackson has a pity party extreme all because he’s definitely dying a painful death for having saved a planet Colonic from self-destruction ala naquadria experiments. He definitely does die though. Like, the end, that’s it, no more Deeej to kick around. Except that he’s an egg-drop-soup-but-in-air-instead-of-wate…

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S5 E20: Sock it to Me!!? 1:27:06

1+ y ago1:27:06

1:27:06

Season 5 Episode 20: The Sentinel So over on Latona we have your basic planet of these guys: “Yo, our forebears made us a cool shieldy kind of thing and then we all got real, super dumb and have no idea how it works. Well, except that one guy NID murdered.” The result? Of that plus not being Daddy’s favorites? SG-9 is dead and SG-1 has to get some …

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S5 E19: Daddy Made Me Wrong! 1:13:20

1+ y ago1:13:20

1:13:20

Season 5 Episode 19: Menace We meet the Proto Borg Robot that MADE the Replicators eons ago. She exclaims that DADDY MADE ME WRONG! Daniel doesn't hear any of that ableist nonsense and tries to help her. That and everyone else's (except Teal'c, bless him) bad decisions end up with Replicators ON THE BASE! This has to be the end, right? Well, no, be…

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S5 E18: Teal'c has to stop joining Cults, man! 1:14:15

1+ y ago1:14:15

1:14:15

Season 5 Episode 18: The Warrior Well, Teal and Bray Bray go see that the Jaffa Rebellion is alive and well in the hands of a charismatic leader, a man who is SUPER into keeping the rebels fed, SUPER loves help from the SGC, and SUPER DUPER hates the idea and usage of suicide bombers in his outfit. Actually, he LOOOOOVES all that, so O'Neill is lik…

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S5 E17: With Friends Like the Assguards, You Might Blow up Your Planet 1:14:42

1+ y ago1:14:42

1:14:42

Season 5 Episode 17: Fail Safe You GUYS! The Gate Gang litrally hyperdrives through planet Earth! I didn’t even know they could do that! And it is soooo much smarter than blowing it up. The Gooolds try to sabotage/destroy Earth without openly violating their Assguard treaty and that’s what happens because between you and me, I don’t think those lit…

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S5 E16: Daniel Jackson: Edging Lord 1:24:16

1+ y ago1:24:16

1:24:16

Season 5 Episode 16: The Last Stand Yeah, that’s right, Deej continues to come close to murdering some System Lords only to back off at the last minute, ruining the whole situation. Very Frustrating! Small compensation at least that he totally misses out on that nonconsensual body-sharing shit over in the crystal caves when Lantash simply has to ha…

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S5 E15: Never Send a Daniel Jackson to do a Seargent Jackson's Work 1:24:30

1+ y ago1:24:30

1:24:30

Season 5 Episode 15: Summit For the love of fuck, every time I watch this episode I get detonate-the-bomb blue balls. DJ is a horrible kill-all-the-system-lords tease. Zipacna, the coolest Gooldie of them all, is at least getting some work done, as the Tokra are TUH-OAST with the attack of Gou'ld fleet. Will Daniel grow at LEAST a single, and pull …

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S5 E14: I Liked the One with Eddie Murphy Better 1:29:46

1+ y ago1:29:46

1:29:46

Season 5 Episode 14: 48 hours Teal’c is buffering. Literally. Like, he’s operating from an AOL CD, so we won’t see him but for the first and final three seconds of the episode. It has also come to the attention of these dear pod hosts that this one horrible hot pile of steaming microwave-reheated cat turds by the name of Dr. McKay is somehow a belo…

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S5 E13: Training Drills All the Way Down 1:16:20

2y ago1:16:20

1:16:20

Season 5 Episode 13: Proving Ground Listen. Look. These cadets are almost like having a kid leading the episode. It’s whatever, but for some reason the SG-C is designing elaborate scenarios to get the Big Top Boy cadet to pass the training even though the Dainty Little Miss cadet is already there at the start of the episode with no extra help? As a…

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S5 E12:The Best Episode of SG-1 Ever! 1:46:32

2y ago1:46:32

1:46:32

Season 5 Episode 12: Wormhole X-Treme I know the one where Sam and MacNeil basically express their romantic love for each other because they’re separated by a goooold shield wall thingy and think they’re dying is also good, OK. But in this episode, frequent double dipping creative consultant Peter DeLouise makes sure we know whom he’d cast as Colon…

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S5 E11: The Five-Nine Feisty Lady! 1:28:19

2y ago1:28:19

1:28:19

Season 5 Episode 11: Desperate Measures Jack’s real bestie is back in town baybee! Hutch. Or Starsky. Carter cannot literally not even catch a break! She is kidnapped leaving the gym, a fantastic reason to never work out. Or leave the house. Anyhoozle, that Jolinar schtick really bites her in that ass this week. Ultimately the Gate Gang comes out o…

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S5 E10: Boring Boren’s Iron-Boring Barn! 1:29:50

2y ago1:29:50

1:29:50

Season 5 Episode 10: 2001 Hey y'all, remember in the Episode "2010" when the note that got through the gate was O'Neil's. Not Daniel's, not Sam's, but Macguver's quite minimalistic, "DON'T GO HERE!" followed by the planet number. Well, turns out it would have been nice if he had added the word "Ashen People", "Sterility," "Fuck these Assholes," ANY…

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S5 E9: Help us SG-1 Kenobi 1:31:48

2y ago1:31:48

1:31:48

Season 5 Episode 9: Can you even?! These sanctimonious Tolan dicks (who let’s not forget know how to separate gooooolds from hosts but keep it to themselves and help like, um no one) continue to demonstrate that they are selfish little twats. They try to sell out Earth to that huge prick Tanith. Narim is the best Tolan and probably Sam’s best boyfr…

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S5 E8: McNeil Versus McComrade 1:25:51

2y ago1:25:51

1:25:51

Season 5 Episode 8: The Tomb In this Fraggle Rock/SG-1 crossover from Hell, the Gate Gang and their Russian pals get chased (and in some cases horrifically killed) by the grossest Fraggle. Luckily one Russian survives to prove that SG-1 didn’t do a whole bunch of murders on the Russians. So yeah, post-Cold War relations are probably leading to a pr…

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S5 E7: Some of My Best Friends are Domesticated! 1:17:45

2y ago1:17:45

1:17:45

Season 5 Episode 7: Beast of Burden Sooooo, remember in like episode four of this whole entire series when Daniel Jackson was like maybe rape is just part of their way of life and we definitely shouldn’t intervene in this one happening right in front of us? Yeah, he’s equally squishy on at least race-based slavery. These white saviors plus Teal’c g…

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S5 E6: Electric COVID 1:14:08

2y ago1:14:08

1:14:08

Season 5 Episode 6: Rite of Passage Remember that little alien kid who is also human and was also a big bomb that only love could disarm? Somehow she is 16! What! What’s the passage-of-time sitch on this show? Very soap operatic at the moment. So Cassy kissed a boy, Dominic, and I guess hated it? She’s sick as fuck now. I guess her horny teen hormo…

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S5 E5: Are the Amish Cowboys Quakers or Vikings? 1:21:42

2y ago1:21:42

1:21:42

Season 5 Episode 5: Red Sky WOOF, did the Gate Gang ever fuck up. They’ve punched a whole in someone’s sun and now the whole planet of like 30 people is dying but refusing to relocate. I mean, more people would fit in a city bus, but OK sure, stay and die. Those annoying Disneyland-esque Hall of Viking God’s holograms are in this one, hooray for su…

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S5 E4: Whose Friend is Imaginary Now MacNeill!! 1:10:20

2y ago1:10:20

1:10:20

Season 5 Episode 4: The Fifth Man Remember last week when MacNeill acted like Sam was loonsaroony for having an invisible stalker? Ha! Now he’s risking his whole life for his good buddy who isn’t really real but should be because ay ai ai, have you seen this man? I mean, it does turn out he is not even half as fine as his profile pic, but I guess t…

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S5 E3: Fun-Sized Gate 1:22:31

2y ago1:22:31

1:22:31

Season 5 Episode 3: Ascension Can we talk about this situation with Sam’s boyfriends? Like, super advanced, super down to die for her, super fucking creepy. This one is the most. Meanwhile her true lover boy MacNeill is treating her like she’s cray because he somehow cannot believe, after all they’ve seen, that she has an alien stalker. Stalkerman …

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S5 E2: Has Anyone Ever Told You You Should Smile Less 1:16:04

2y ago1:16:04

1:16:04

Season 5 Episode 2: Threshold Yikes. Mean Teal’c is one grinny mother fucker. He pretends to be back to his old cool self just to try to take out MacNeill, LOL! Hold on to your britches, because this is a fucking Bra’tac episode, hooooray. It’s one of those "gotta kinda kill him to save him" situations, but calm the eff down; Teal’c does live to tr…

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S5 E1: Toto, I Don’t Think We’re in Beautiful British Columbia Anymore 1:11:52

2y ago1:11:52

1:11:52

Season 5 Episode 1: Enemies So check it, all of the gate gang plus Papa of the Year J-Mac are stranded in the…unspecified quadrant of some different galaxy! Shit snacks! Apop is there as well, obvi, but dude has lost his rizz! What a fucking dork. He dies (finally) but leaves a parting gift of Teal’c acting like a total douche. Everyone makes it ba…

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S4 E22: I am Tannith, Hear Me Smirk!! 1:03:02

2y ago1:03:02

1:03:02

Season 4 Episode 22: Exodus Get ready for some action in a galaxy far, far away as Daniel Skywalker, Jack Solo, and Princess Carter plan to do some real wack shit to the Empire of Apophis. From blowing up stars, to resettling whole populations of Tokr'a, the gang got this on lockdown. Until the writers realize this ain't Star Wars, and have Teal'c …

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S4 E21: McNeal on McReal Violence 1:28:25

2y ago1:28:25

1:28:25

Season 4 Episode 21: Double Jeopardy Hey, y'all remember Gang 2.0? Remember them? We left them with Harllo. Well, they got bored of solitaire and orgies, and decided to start roaming around the galaxy like their flesh and blood counterparts. Well, that was going t bite them in their robot asses at some point, and well, here we are, as they're all p…

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S4 E20: I AM MAJOR, MAJOR GPT! 1:17:00

2+ y ago1:17:00

1:17:00

Season 4 Episode 20: Entity Move over Chat GPT, because actual AI rolled onto Earth in 2001. It took over our friendly Malp Robot, and proceeded to "The Thing"-itself into a nightmare pile of cables and circuits at the Base. After realizing it's too big for the floppy drives and emergency lighting battery, it decides that Sam Carter 's brain is jus…

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S4 E19: What The Frack Was This Mission! 1:23:37

2+ y ago1:23:37

1:23:37

Season 4 Episode 19: Prodigy So we got two disparate stories going on here. One is Jack and Teal'c babysitting a team of scientists on what appears to be Tinkerbell's sociopathic cousin's moon home. The other is Good Will Hunting, except with women in the air force academy. They bring the two together, but we personally don't understand the point. …

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S4 E18: Death By Horizontal SPLOOSH! 1:16:10

2+ y ago1:16:10

1:16:10

Season 4 Episode 18: The Light It's pretty obvious at this point that Daniel has an addictive personality. Sarcophagi, boy light, and now a sweet lava lamp has his dopamine firing on all cylinders. The gang go to the planet (aka one room) where this lava lamp is, and to be fair to Daniel, this lava lamp is pretty goddamn sweet. They all forget thei…

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S4 E17: Big Long Wick Energy 1:20:34

2+ y ago1:20:34

1:20:34

Season 4 Episode 17: Absolute Power The SG Gang find the Golden Child and bring him back to base. Very Child-Centric Episode until Daniel is given some Boy-Light and proceeds to become Giga-Chad of the early aughts, fucking over the Tokra AND the rest of the world with his new found knowledge. Actually, don't worry about the summary. This episode d…

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S4 E16: It Almost Passes the Bechdel Test 1:26:08

2+ y ago1:26:08

1:26:08

Season 4 Episode 16: 2010 Come with us to the year 2010, where Sam has married some douchebag, Teal'c leads a cult, Dr. Fraz has literally nothing to do, Jack is a mountain man, and Daniel is. . .Daniel. Some time travel shenanigans occur, but the real star of the show is Glasses, who has the most lines he's ever had. But even that kind of sucks, b…

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S4 E15: Tropical Maybourne Barbie 1:19:40

2+ y ago1:19:40

1:19:40

Season 4 Episode 15: Chain Reaction We finally get to see Special Forces McNeil use his Special Force-fulness as he tries to help Daddy from being blackmailed into retirement by those F&%K-Wads at the NID. He needs help though, and who better than our favorite slime pustule, MAYBOURNE! After cashing in some favors, O'neil gets Maybourne a hall pass…

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S4 E14: It’s All Phoenician To Me Sir! 1:18:26

2+ y ago1:18:26

1:18:26

Season 4 Episode 14: The Serpent's Venom The Gang go all Intrigue Noir as they set up an incredibly dangerous plan to set Apophis and Haru'ur against(?) each other? Or with(?) each other? The plan is as messy as the electron cloud of mines surrounding the planet they fly to in J-Mack's ship to pull it all off. Meanwhile Teal'c foments revolution, b…

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S4 E13: Field Work for Fraz 1:32:08

2+ y ago1:32:08

1:32:08

Season 4 Episode 13: Absolute Power The Golden Child Part 2 opens with said Child, the Harsesis, meeting the Gang, and being taken to the mountain, where he gives Daniel some Boy Light to the forehead, injecting him with hidden knowledge, and starting him on that Sigma Grind Set to building some sweet alien tech to beat the Gou'ldies. Cut to ONE WH…