Best Selectbutton Podcasts (2025)

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Episode 43: Decolonizing the Literary Canon 2:17:46

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4+ y ago2:17:46

2:17:46

The party learns from a kindly spidermother that the pixies have been horning their way into the wood, jacking up rents and driving out the legacy residents. Honeydew learns that magical root-ink cannot but produce pro-pixie propaganda from his pen. Delving into this tuber dungeon, our heroes vow here as always to defeat the Gentrifier.…

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Episode #91: Holiday Deathcast IX: Holiday Lifecast 2:45:30

4+ y ago2:45:30

2:45:30

To Sir, With Crank.

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Episode #90: Montage 2:04:00

4+ y ago2:04:00

2:04:00

What can we say? Temporal friction used to our advantage, and we'll survive. Is there something strange going on? Best not to worry about it!

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Episode 42: Dopethrone 2:05:53

5y ago2:05:53

2:05:53

Our heroes end banditry in the countryside using the traditional method, rousing debate about the working class! With the bandits redirected, the party attends to more pressing matters: learning sick spells, summoning even cooler cats, and getting insanely high. How high? Wake up in the forest surrounded by chittering spider people high.…

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Episode 41: Level 12 Ruffians 2:40:07

5y ago2:40:07

2:40:07

Bernie and Honeydew creep on Aioli with their characteristic brand of subtlety. BJ and Ven set spears to face some suspiciously powerful highwaymen. Will our heroes reunite in time to defeat these foes in unison? Do our heroes ever do anything in unison actually?By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 40: Mistified 2:41:44

5+ y ago2:41:44

2:41:44

The party is split in two, divided by a strange wall of mist that no one else seems to recognize. Honeydew and Bernie have a nice vacation with a dinosaur. BJ and Ven find Fatgris, open a door in the worst possible way, and prepare for battle with roofie bandits.By selectbutton dot net

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Episode #89: Holiday Deathcast VIII: Den of Corruption 2:13:28

5+ y ago2:13:28

2:13:28

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Episode 39: The Girl From Empanada 2:50:06

5+ y ago2:50:06

2:50:06

By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 38: The Bozos Are Back In Town 2:49:51

6y ago2:49:51

2:49:51

The gang returns to literally sleepy Tumford only to face an infestation of g-g-g-g-ghosts! BJ is possessed and the only cure is Honeydew smashing him with a flaming Donghammer. Shrug considers historical diamond dust production. Bald Wendol is faithless towards his cabbages, and then makes a stupid deal with Honeydew that ends up consuming his cha…

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Episode 37.5: Wield, Part 2 3:27:07

6y ago3:27:07

3:27:07

In the long-awaited return of Shrug's wield campaign, two lost souls wander around a tower while being manipulated by magical objects. Also the objects are alive and being played by the same people in real life. It's not as confusing as it sounds, I promise. Look forward to extreme beach volleyball against a titan, people turning into dragons, lots…

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Episode 37: Good Vibes Administration 2:36:49

6y ago2:36:49

2:36:49

The gang's well-deserved victory lap. Mab the Pieromancer stays behind in now idyllic Chetverg, home to the triple race alliance. Magic items abound. Bartholomew imbibes the light of wisdom. The party prepares to return to home planet Digna. They don't know where they will be or how long it's been, but they know one thing: be excellent to each othe…

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Episode 36: The Battle of Fort Chetverg 2:45:43

6y ago2:45:43

2:45:43

The... Barty Party? Yeah, we gotta work on that -- resolves elf/fish tensions, at both the vulgar and elite levels. Work is completed on an obscene siege float. Captain Cha delivers a rousing speech of comraderie and fraternity, throwing our heroes at a sea of robot elves and their twisted vegan commander. There's only one way this can end: crushed…

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Episode 35: Tears In Rain 46:56

6y ago46:56

46:56

Boy, this episode seems short! you might say. And you'd be entirely right! I screwed up. I screwed up big! But the party didn't. They did great. They rubbed a cat on a beautiful man to save the soul of elvenkind.By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 34: The Birdening 2:56:36

6y ago2:56:36

2:56:36

An evening bookended by birds. Three separate huge frickin' birds. In the middle, the party melts plastic materials to find magic items, we find out that the late Haesto was a mangaka, and shrug gets horny for Christopher Meloni. I guess also the gang frees an elf goddess and finds out a huge amount of world-shattering information but that's not as…

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Episode #88: A More Mario 64-like Mario for The Selectbutton Podcast 2:04:13

6+ y ago2:04:13

2:04:13

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Episode 33: Pearls Before Swine 2:51:08

6+ y ago2:51:08

2:51:08

The party founds an impromptu clan and picks gamertags in order to play a game with a guy who is definitely not Jokkmokk. The Official Office Space Roleplaying System turns out to be a subtle commentary on eco-gnomics and the basic injustice of wage slavery which is also necromancy. Bernie's full name is Bearnaise Anders. Then there are some proble…

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Episode 32: Ladies Love Cool Ven 2:54:24

6+ y ago2:54:24

2:54:24

Anti-illusion haircuts are tough on an edge, so a quest for a whetstone leads our heroes into the kitchen of the skinking club, where BJ finally defeats his hangover with the aid of a magical spring. A harrowing encounter with a staircase leads to a not so harrowing encounter with a giant and not terribly verbal moth. Finally, catching up with an o…

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Episode 31: Quis Mingit Ipsos Minges 2:26:38

6+ y ago2:26:38

2:26:38

An old friend delivers a passive-aggressive judgment upon the party's less than perfect ally retention rate. Honeydew handles his snake so expertly it'd make Moses blush. The gang goes down a reliquary K-hole and ends up teaching a hungry beast the meaning of explicit consent, but not before learning how to skink in the traditional halfling fashion…

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Episode 30: Dungeons & Diners & Dragons & Dives 2:50:49

6+ y ago2:50:49

2:50:49

The party considers some bizarre physiologies, starting with a 90's starlet alzabo-Frankenstein and ending with Halfling cloacas. Eventually they stop goofing around and enter the mind palace, which turns out to be completely built out of elves. Allegedly this isn't a sex thing. BJ and Honeydew get completely blasted, thus transmorphing a literal s…

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Episode 29: Vitamin D Deficiency 3:41:48

6+ y ago3:41:48

3:41:48

We begin with some truly pointless nonsense, which can only be summarized as poop crimes. After the creation and discussion of some magical artifacts in preparation, the party finally begins its trek to the long-foreshadowed Tower. But the forest contains unforseen memory mysteries, and we discover that only with the help of the manticores (and the…

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Episode 28: Into the Ryanverse 3:00:43

6+ y ago3:00:43

3:00:43

Old friends are reunited. The beginnings of a revolution have begun to coalesce in Fort Chetverg. But it is not without its costs, including a Korpseo and BJ face-tanking traps. Can a motet for three voices tip the balance? Also, fictional AND real life war crimes!By selectbutton dot net

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Episode #87: Holiday Deathcast VII: End of the Road 2:06:03

6+ y ago2:06:03

2:06:03

Werewolves, creamed corn, sorted shrimp. The death of 2018...the cast of our lives.

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Episode 27: Gentle Dick Sock 2:59:27

6+ y ago2:59:27

2:59:27

The party takes a well-deserved rest, but Bernie pisses the night away. In the morning, chores need doing: uncursing elves, talking to frustrated professor spirits, swimming in trash, you know the deal. Our heroes' travails leave them with due reward: an orb full of dragon cum?? (NO, it is NOT)By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 26.5: Wield, Part 1 3:09:20

6+ y ago3:09:20

3:09:20

In this NoRA gaiden, the DM shoe is on the other foot as shrug runs tulpa and guest star Clint through a "one"(three)-shot of Wield, a game by John Wick (the legendary game designer, not the Keanu redeemed killer) about the sorcerous will that powers legendary magical artifacts. Graciously edited by the talented Clint, whose Snexploration podcast y…

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Episode 26: Garden of Whedon 3:13:56

7y ago3:13:56

3:13:56

The party faces the Thanksgiving racist uncle conundrum: what to do when the doddering and talented old castle gardener is also 100% in the tank for pro-necromancer conspiracy theories? BJ deals with it the way we all wish we could, but before the party can take the post-turkey snooze they desperately need, they are set upon by the salad. Also: ext…

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Episode 25.5: Swords Without a Clue 3:13:00

7y ago3:13:00

3:13:00

A very special bonus episode of No Rangers Allowed. The gang is together! Like in the real life! We take the opportunity to play a one-shot of Swords Without Master, a wonderful system of narrative manipulation. Turns out we are all just as ridiculous face to face as we are on the internet.By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 25: Icon of Sin 2:50:42

7y ago2:50:42

2:50:42

The party makes a moonroof to imbue their sweet rhymes with astronomical significance. There are some very bad plants, and some very good plants. The gang discovers a treasure trove, both literally and metaphorically, and encounters a brief history of perversion, as well as a longer history of more important matters. No real progress towards proces…

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Episode 24: Oh, My Centaur 2:21:27

7y ago2:21:27

2:21:27

Peripheral contact with the dreaded Riddle Weasel is not enough to keep our party from their prey, and BJ from his bloody destiny. Bernie rolls triple sixes, proving that this is truly Satan's game. But it's not all fun and games; grim revenge casts a dark cloud over the party, one that threatens to open old wounds, and make new ones.…

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Episode 23: Mission Incredulous 2:02:39

7y ago2:02:39

2:02:39

There is a disagreement regarding Ven's insecurities and the party's abuse of his naive trust. Only a sucking, slurping, whispering void of ASMR can rescue the party from this damning lack of esprit de corps. It ends in fire, as our disagreements tend to do. Due to technical difficulties, Miles wears BJ's skin. Sorry.…

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Episode 22: Hair Mettle 2:45:18

7y ago2:45:18

2:45:18

So there's technically plenty of adventure in this episode - adorable puzzle weasels, Irtian revelations, a dangerous reconnoiter into a bizarre town to organize a rescue mission, and even a brush with nobility - but, let's be honest, mostly it's about hair.By selectbutton dot net

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Episode 21: Goatal Destruction 2:50:54

7y ago2:50:54

2:50:54

A brightly-colored group of decidedly non-rangerous disciples give the party pause. Ven and Honeydew argue over the sentinels' intentions, but the benefit of the doubt gives way to actual doubt, which belies the devotional structure of the little lake civilization. What follows is pure hircine vengeance, terrifying to behold. Later, we find that th…

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Episode 20: Curb Your Iconoclasm 2:25:44

7y ago2:25:44

2:25:44

The party has a TMNT (original live-action movie version) spiritual experience with the ghost of their friend(?) Gorm, but have no time to properly grieve before set upon by a pack of bandits and their mincing leader. When they part ways, the party is laser focused on the twin goals of Revenge and Escape - until someone offers to give BJ a bath. Th…

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Episode 19: Unforseen Consequences 3:09:30

7y ago3:09:30

3:09:30

A CLIMAX. The party begins by solving Rivenesque puzzles to unlock interplanetary secrets. Irtya is even more than she has seemed, but before the party can understand the cosmological significance of these partial revelations, the Dragon in the Basement is unleashed. Our heroes fight both monsters and the clock as they struggle to evacuate the Egg.…

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Episode 18: Hasselhoof 2:16:32

7y ago2:16:32

2:16:32

The party begins to peel back the layers of the dark underbelly of the Egg. Valorous battle is entered: BJ uses filthy ninjitsu; Bernie employs, and immediately breaks, what she affectionately calls her Warbags; and Ven rends the darkness with a megachurch Cuisinart. Honeydew's claustrophobia interrupts the spoofs and goofs, however, and the party …

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Episode 17: Elevator Action 2:14:55

7y ago2:14:55

2:14:55

A very manually-centric episode, involving little grabby hands, fishmittens, and alien Mars Reactor-esque power pedestals. The party falls under a hilarious curse, divers in its effect, but still finds time to discover ancient secrets about The Seed nee The Egg, as well as foment the piscine communist revolution. Meanwhile Honeydew says a lot of st…

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Episode 16: Residue Processing 2:35:09

7y ago2:35:09

2:35:09

The gang's MIT degree really pays for itself. With the fish and shark people being drawn slowly into revolutionary fervor (and elf porn), our heroes uncover more sinister features of the Vittorik hemomancy facility, as well as an experimental hazardous environment armor. But they also find something more important than magical baubles: friendship.…

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Episode 15: The Three P's 2:52:26

7+ y ago2:52:26

2:52:26

Pies, prog, and Peruvian panpipes. A horse accidentally named Horse bromances BJ and reveals new secrets of Gorm's past. His dick is an open question. But nevermind: into the depths of Vittorik the party must descend. Mab still must be saved and the encroaching Nothing dispelled. And one halfling has the power to open the hearts of man and fish ali…

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Episode 14: Hiss Whedon 2:27:06

7+ y ago2:27:06

2:27:06

Mostly, we fight snakes. Envenomed and close to death, BJ becomes a rage monster. Honeydew, 4 levels and 14 episodes in, finally gets to Thunderwave. And our DM learns a little something about inspiration. Also, it turns out we're on the hematothurgical research island of a mad king but we already knew this place sucked so what else is new. WARNING…

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Episode 13: Sharky Shark and the Grunkle Bunch 2:50:52

7+ y ago2:50:52

2:50:52

In between theoretical discussions of binary planet cosmogeny, the party further learns that corrupted Elf Isle is really a pretty shit place. Despite some halfhearted efforts to keep watch, Mab, all innocence and light, is stolen away in the night. Now there is one question urgent above all others: Where's the Girl?…

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Episode 12: Striking Out 3:38:39

7+ y ago3:38:39

3:38:39

Though the importance of new revelations about the true nature of the Spooky Spike can't be overstated, the adventure takes another great leap forward as the gang, for the first time, venture as a unit beyond the warm comfort of Tumford. They find themselves in a mysterious and hostile alien land. Druids are revealed as undercover cyberpunk transhu…

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Episode 11: The Quick and the Querulous 2:28:17

7+ y ago2:28:17

2:28:17

Do you think there is life on the moon - and if there is life, is there love? After a truly stupendous amount of buildup, the gang hoots n hollers its way through shoving noble Bartholomew out of obscurity and into Tumford legend. No interference is brooked; no nos are taken for answers. Featuring a small struggle sesh with Tulpa's minor DMing inse…

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Episode #86: Chef’s Special Platter (High Rank) 2:08:18

7+ y ago2:08:18

2:08:18

select button dot net is proud to present a two-part Monster Hunter extravaganza. In the High Rank episode, we stay focused a bit more and cover the larger omissions from the earlier episode: monsters at large, hunt dynamics, the grind loop, locales, and more… (Use a fancy-pants podcast app, and you'll get to enjoy chapter navigation and an array o…

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Episode #85: Chef’s Special Platter (Low Rank) 1:38:17

7+ y ago1:38:17

1:38:17

select button dot net is proud to present a two-part Monster Hunter extravaganza. In the Low Rank episode, our panel rambles on about a variety of topics such as: mountain bosses, gripes about Frontier, whether it is acceptable to be anime or not, content reuse throughout the series, and world building. (Don’t fret, we didn’t restrict our discussio…

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Episode 10: Schroedingore's King 3:03:40

7+ y ago3:03:40

3:03:40

"We're all going to die one day. May as well die a weird death." Our heroes spread out through the Market Festival and seriously get some shit done. Areas north, east, south and west are discussed, and a plan for striking out into the wider world is fully developed. We learn of the Old King, suspended in mortal superposition, and guess at ye olde C…

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Episode 09: Ice Man 2:20:16

7+ y ago2:20:16

2:20:16

The party learns the unnecessarily real rules to the revenants' ancient dice game, but Fatgris' plans for mathematical domination of the table are interrupted early by the characteristically loud arrival of our favorite conman. Tempers flare, and what begins as a noble attempt to defend Fatgris' honor escalates almost out of control. One last javel…

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Episode 08: Hey Buddy, Wanna Huff a Beard? 2:34:32

7+ y ago2:34:32

2:34:32

Meet Fatgris. He controls lightning, he's depressed, and he loves to party. He's also something of a straightedge, which is a recipe for unpopularity in Gabbalusian Tumford, home of leaf merchants, spider juices and facial spores alike. With an elven Narnia portal lurking, God knows what remaining in the market, and the mysteries of the South becko…

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Episode 07: Fairly Ridiculous 2:52:40

7+ y ago2:52:40

2:52:40

Ven having been rescued from the grim clutches of death, our heroes return to the light and experience the cosmopolitan delights of the Tumford Millennial Faire. Leaf merchants are interrogated; sheriffs are elected; charlatans are karmically counter-swindled; hogs are beautified. Perhaps most importantly, our heroes smell adventure on the horizon,…

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Episode 06: You Might Fight a Wight Tonight 3:11:51

7+ y ago3:11:51

3:11:51

Our heroes must rescue one of their number, the devout Ven Ryefort, from certain doom. The sands run through the hourglass as they attempt to discover the secrets of the barrow where he is trapped before he is seized by the stygian hand of death. Can they uncover the Irtyan conspiracy that lies at the heart of this gravemound? Mostly, kind of. Gues…

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Episode #84: Holiday Deathcast VI: Burn the Negatives 2:33:15

7+ y ago2:33:15

2:33:15

Join us for our sixth Holiday Deathcast, where we endeavor to learn the true meaning of Deathcast. Thanks for joining us on the F2P Mobile Game Report!

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Episode 05: It's Been, One Week 1:58:32

7+ y ago1:58:32

1:58:32

The Heroes of Tumford dust themselves off from their gritty victory in the Barrows. Spirits are high, but not everyone in town is undamaged. Leads are chased, biographies are written and riveted mail is painstakingly handcrafted during the seven days of downtime. We end with a cliffhanger regarding the fate of one of our band - but it'll still be t…