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I make a bunch of short form educational/personal life story-telling, and my friend told me after listening to me on someone else's podcast that some of my longer form ideas would be really valuable for people to hear in this form, so I'm trusting Frank knows...
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Safety is Sexy

Matthew Soeth

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Online safety can be messy and nuanced, but it doesn’t mean our conversations about it need to be that way as well. Welcome to Safety is Sexy, a podcast that features content experts, technology experts, and researchers who are doing the work to create healthy online spaces. When it comes to improving online spaces, it takes all of us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Lori's Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Our-Home/Lori-Sugarman-Li/9781685554286 Summary: In this engaging conversation, Lori Sugarman Lee and her son Tyson discuss the often-overlooked concept of invisible labor within the home. They explore the inspiration behind Lori's children's book on domestic labor, the importance of fostering ind…
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Find Stephanie Here! https://www.instagram.com/hellonannydotcom/ Hiring a nanny can save marriages and improve parenting. The stigma around hiring help often stems from personal history. Financial barriers make it difficult for many families to seek support. Support systems are crucial for modern families to thrive. Pride can prevent parents from s…
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Join the free community discussing this everyday: https://www.skool.com/mentalloadbasics/about?ref=e3ce6e039d8b42dbb2a3e7c793b3c259 The 'boring meeting' is a valuable tool for communication. Routine and operations are essential for family dynamics. Nurturing connection involves discussing emotions and feelings. Game planning helps in managing famil…
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Free Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/mentalloadbasics/about?ref=e3ce6e039d8b42dbb2a3e7c793b3c259 Takeaways The mental load is often unrecognized and unaddressed in relationships. Cultural conditioning plays a significant role in shaping men's perceptions of their roles. Media representations of masculinity often set low expectations for men.…
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In this episode of Safety is Sexy I speak with Joel Silk, a former Air Force intelligence officer with extensive experience in cybersecurity and trust and safety. Joel discusses his transition from military intelligence to cybersecurity and then to trust and safety. We discuss: The importance of protecting users and systems, how collaboration betwe…
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In this conversation, Dr. Tracy Delglish and Zachary Watson explore the complexities of relationships, emotional intelligence, and the importance of vulnerability in therapy. Dr. Tracy shares her personal journey as a psychologist and couples therapist, emphasizing the need for individuals to connect with their emotions and communicate effectively …
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Summary In this conversation, Dr. Morgan discusses the concept of mental load in relationships, particularly focusing on how it affects communication and dynamics between partners. She contrasts her approach with the Fair Play method, emphasizing the relational aspects of mental load and the importance of understanding emotional labor. The discussi…
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Get the book: https://www.marinagerner.com/ Summary In this engaging conversation, Zach and Marina delve into the importance of language in women's health, the challenges of discussing female anatomy, and the role of supportive partners in navigating the mental load of parenthood. They explore the concept of FemTech, the need for accurate terminolo…
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Elijah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elijahjrunyan/?hl=en Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Connection Codes Coaching 01:46 Elijah's Journey in Mental and Emotional Health 04:34 The Core Emotion Wheel Explained 07:08 Real-Life Applications of Emotional Awareness 09:46 Navigating Personal Experiences with Emotions 12:47 The Importance of Holdi…
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Takeaways https://www.tamihackbarth.com/care-club Self-care is often viewed as selfish, but it's essential for well-being. Microaggressions from friends and family can undermine women's self-care efforts. Redistributing domestic labor is crucial for equitable partnerships. Finding 'unicorn space' is about pursuing passions outside of caregiving rol…
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Fact checking, community notes, and regulation, oh my! In this episode of 'Safety is Sexy,' featuring Yee Carter, the focus is on misinformation and disinformation in the digital landscape and the role of regulations and community efforts. Yee Carter, a multilingual risk and compliance professional who discusses her experience at Google and working…
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Summary In this engaging conversation, Zach and Mary discuss the complexities of mental load in parenting, the creation of Mom Life Comics, and the societal expectations placed on mothers. They explore the emotional labor involved in relationships, the impact of pregnancy on mental load, and the challenges of being a female content creator. The dis…
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https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner/reels/ In this conversation, Zach and Paige Turner discuss the systemic double standards in society, particularly regarding gender roles in parenting and the invisible labor associated with childcare. Paige shares her experiences with viral content and the backlash she receives, emphasizing the need for a…
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Takeaways Emotional labor is often overlooked but crucial in relationships. Acknowledging each other's contributions fosters a healthier dynamic. Community support can significantly enhance personal growth. Identifying personal passions is essential for individual fulfillment. Practicing gratitude can improve relationship satisfaction. Communicatio…
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Summary Get your book: https://www.motheruntitled.com/ In this conversation, Neha Ruch discusses her journey as a mother and career woman, emphasizing the importance of intentional pauses in one's career to focus on family life. She explores the societal perceptions of motherhood and career, the need for support and help in parenting, and the evolv…
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In this episode of Safety is Sexy, I dive into Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg's 2025 policy shifts for Facebook and Instagram, shaped by political climates and regulatory pressures. I explore Meta's decisions influenced by U.S. political leadership and the addition of Dana White to its board. I discuss Meta's focus on freedom of expression under the UN H…
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Get the book: https://thetidydad.com/book In this conversation, Zachary Watson and Tyler Moore discuss the journey of tidying up both physical spaces and mental health. Tyler shares his experiences as a dad influencer, the challenges of writing his book, and the importance of emotional labor in relationships. They explore themes of privilege, the i…
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In this episode of 'Safety is Sexy', I discusses my favorite tech and safety podcasts. My goal is to provide you with valuable resources to stay informed on trends in tech, policy, and online safety. Highlighted podcasts include 'Artificial Intelligence and Equality', 'Data and Society', 'Pivot', 'The Sunday Show', 'Technically Human', 'Trust in Te…
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This episode of Safety is Sexy features Bethany Smith. From her beginnings at Twitter as a tech policy fellow to managing trust and safety issues at various platforms, Bethany discusses the challenges and nuances of the field, including content moderation, community management, and policy enforcement. She recounts navigating high-pressure situation…
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Summary In this episode, Zach Watson discusses the backlash surrounding a podcast clip from Will Compton and Taylor Lewin, co-hosts of 'Bustin with the Boys.' The clip, which features Compton discussing his experiences as a new father, sparked criticism for its perceived misogyny and lack of accountability. Watson reflects on the responses from var…
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Summary In this conversation, Zach Watson and Caylee Cresta explore the complexities of parenting, content creation, and the emotional labor that often goes unnoticed. Kayleigh shares her journey as a creator, the challenges she faces with online hate, and the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in her work. They discuss the dynamics of co…
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Summary In this conversation, Zach Watson speaks with Alyson Bullock and Sean about their experiences as Fair Play facilitators. They discuss their personal journeys into the Fair Play method, the challenges they face in implementing it within their own relationships, and the importance of communication and emotional labor. The conversation also to…
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In this episode of Safety is Sexy, I'm joined by Agnes Everard to discuss how she transitioned from teaching to a career in Trust and Safety, We explore the intersection of tech, education, and policy development. Her career includes pivotal roles in crisis management at Airbnb, and shaping policies at Patreon. She delves into the complexities of p…
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In this episode of Safety is Sexy, I speak with youth safety expert Vaishnavi J to discuss the Kids Online Safety and Privacy Act (KOSPA) and its implications. We discuss the duty of care, default privacy settings, and regulations on data collection, as well as the challenges companies face in implementing these regulations, the broader implication…
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https://www.instagram.com/thatdarnchat/ Takeaways Laura's work has significantly impacted Zach's perspective on relationships. Communication is key in understanding mental load and emotional labor. Challenging traditional gender roles can lead to healthier partnerships. Community support is essential for navigating parenting challenges. Rethinking …
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Summary In this conversation, Zach Watson and Allison Damager delve into the complexities of invisible labor and cognitive load within relationships. They explore the gender dynamics surrounding financial responsibilities, the cultural expectations placed on men and women, and the importance of language in discussing mental load. The discussion hig…
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In this episode of Safety is Sexy I speak with Louis Victor, CEO and Co-Founder of Tremau, about the role of trusted flaggers as outlined by the Digital Services Act (DSA). We discuss the significance of transparency, regulatory implications on trust flaggers, and the balance between user safety and freedom of expression. We also cover the responsi…
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To register for the Mental Load Mastery Community: https://www.skool.com/mentalloadmastery/about Summary In this conversation, Zachary Watson and Ben discuss the September challenge focused on identifying mental load in relationships. Ben shares his experiences and growth throughout the challenge, highlighting the importance of awareness in domesti…
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Takeaways Gender equality requires conscious effort from both partners. Cognitive labor is often invisible but crucial in relationships. Benevolent sexism can undermine women's contributions. Empathy is a skill that can be developed in parenting. Communication is key to navigating household responsibilities. Cultural norms heavily influence gender …
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If you work in trust and safety, you have heard phrases like "it's just a joke" or "I was trying to be funny" A LOT! However, as we look at the data, we can see that microaggressions, a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial…
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This week we delve into the critical topic of risk assessments within the evolving landscape of online safety regulations. I’m joined by Agne Kaarlep from Tremau, exploring how various regulatory frameworks like the Digital Services Act (DSA) and the UK Online Safety Act (OSA) are implementing risk assessments to improve platform safety and governa…
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Takeaways Many mothers feel isolated during the transition to motherhood. The concept of 'matressence' highlights the emotional changes mothers experience. Authenticity on platforms like LinkedIn can be challenging but necessary. Community support is crucial for mothers feeling overwhelmed. Validation from peers can significantly alleviate feelings…
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In this episode, I dive into my work with Anne Collier whom I worked with on the Social Media Helpline for schools. We go into the history of trusted flaggers and their relationship to industry. We also break down some of the helplines models we followed for starting our helpline in the US. We also dive into the challenges of identifying and report…
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This week I am joined by Eric Han as we discuss incident management and emergency response in online platforms. Eric is a Trust & Safety Veteran with 16 years of experience across giants like Google, Yahoo, Twitter, Uber, and TikTok. Everything that can happen will happen on a platform at an exponential rate, and now, it can happen text, photo, ima…
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Summary In this solo episode, Zach reflects on his relationship with Alyssa and how they navigate challenges in their parenting journey. He shares a specific incident from the previous night where Alyssa wanted to attend a social event, causing a disruption in their nighttime routine. Zach discusses the struggles he faced in handling the routine al…
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This week, I’m speaking with Pearlé Nwaezeigwe, the Yoncé of Tech Policy. We discuss all things tech policy from platform policy, implementing policy, and how regulation is impacting policy development and decisions. We also discuss career advice, how to make yourself stand out and build up your network, and how to make plans and strategize your ca…
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In the digital age, the importance of content moderation in fostering safe, healthy, and thriving online communities cannot be understated. But despite the consensus among both players and industry professionals that moderation is essential, the current but outdated model of content moderation on games platforms has proven insufficient. In order to…
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The easiest way to make decisions is to automate the process. I first learned this as a teach building classroom policies. On average, a teacher makes about 1500 decisions a day. In order to streamline that process and make my life easier, I developed a system of procedures to make those decisions fluid and automatic so I didn’t wear myself out hav…
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Trustcon 2024 has come and gone, and the mission of trust and safety goes forward. In this episode I reflect on my time and experience at Trustcon, the professionals who make online safety possible, and the topics that are driving industry forward. As the industry matures, this is the time to look at our professional practices and standards when it…
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Special Bonus Episode this week! Trustcon is coming! This is most likely one of the largest gatherings of trust and safety professionals in US. I’ve heard a few descriptions, I refer to this conference as my Disneyland as some of the coolest people, experiences, and conversations are happening there. I’ve also heard analogies to Trustcon being the …
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I LOVE to read! On any given day I’m scanning through multiple articles, a book, and some research. The biggest question, how do I know what is relevant and up to date? Newsletters are a great way to stay on top of that. In this episode I list some of the professionals I’ve come across that consistently share informative and consistent content. Thi…
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Summary In this conversation, Zach Watson interviews Tara Wedges, the CEO of Connection Codes, about the core motion wheel and its impact on relationships. They discuss how the core motion wheel helps in better labeling and understanding emotions, separating emotions from behaviors, and building trust and connection in relationships. They also addr…
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This week I speak with Liz Repking of Cyber Safety Consulting. As a parent and educator, Liz became aware of the concerns, anxiety, and lack of knowledge parents and educators feel when it comes to online safety which led her to launch Cyber Safety Consulting with the goal of educating parents, children, and educators to be safe and savvy online. W…
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This week is a special episode, it’s a keynote from my talk at the School Climate Conference in Southern California. This is an education conference for anyone directly involved with community health in a school or district. In this keyonte, I was asked to speak to the current trends around AI and education, concerns about screen time and mental he…
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This week I speak with Patricia Cartes Andres, a pioneer in the trust and safety space. She was there for the early work at Google, Facebook, the global team at Twitter, Postmates, and so many more. We discuss the future of trust and safety, regulation, and look at new vectors of harm that happen when you use technology online to connect humans off…
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SummaryIn this conversation, Zach Watson interviews Rose Hackman, author of the book 'Emotional Labor.' They discuss the concept of emotional labor and its importance in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and society. They highlight the value of empathy and the skills required to practice emotional labor effectively. They also …
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Welcome to Safety is Sexy, a podcast that features experts in the world of online safety. In each episode, we will break down complex safety issues and discuss why things work the way they do to better understand the systems and thinking behind building healthy communities online. This week I am joined by Louisa Bartolo to discuss all things algori…
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This week I speak with Majalise Tolan, an educator and administrator with 20 years of experience. We discuss the evolution of technology in education from computer labs to AI, and the importance of integrating these advancements into the classroom. Majalise shares insights on the successful use of social media for district-wide communication, manag…
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This week, I’m joined by Sean Herman, founder and CEO of Kinzoo Messenger, blogger at ThatDigitalDad.com, and author of Screen Captured: Helping Families Explore the Digital World in The Age of Manipulationan and I dive into the foundational principles of Kinzoo, where Sean wanted to create positive screen time experiences for under 13. We also dis…
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In this episode of the 'Safety is Sexy' podcast, I am rebroadcasting an episode from the 'Go Reboot Your Life' podcast featuring Lisa Thee. We discuss my career journey from education to becoming a trust and safety professional and everything in between. The conversation delves into pivotal moments in my career, balancing work with personal values,…
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