Best Mermen Podcasts (2025)

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Haul Out the Holly 2:29:20

Play Pause

9d ago2:29:20

2:29:20

After this year's Halloween special on Haul Out the Halloween, we realised that we'd already ruined the year, so why not do Haul Out the Holly for our Christmas show? It's not like it could get any worse. Friends, how wrong we were. Haul Out the Holly is the first of three Haul Out movies, and this one shows us how Emily Melrose (Lacey Chabert) cam…

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A Very Jonas Christmas Movie 2:07:48

23d ago2:07:48

2:07:48

Are the Jonas Brothers real? That's the question at the centre of 2025's Disney+ original movie 'A Very Jonas Christmas Movie', which is either grimly cynical xmas fluff, or a biting comedy about siblings raised in the spotlight that lays bare the personal and professional failings of each Jonas Brother. It's very hard to tell. That said, we're try…

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Teen Beach Movie 2:02:30

1M ago2:02:30

2:02:30

Mack and Brady have a problem. Their endless Summer of surfing, freedom and teen romance has come to an end, and instead of dying in a category 5 Kill Storm like they wanted, they've been washed by a magic wave into Brady's favourite movie, 1960s beach musical Wet Side Story. Now trapped in a living hell of dancing, songs and teen romance, Mack and…

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Buffalo Dreams 1:55:03

2M ago1:55:03

1:55:03

Josh Townsend is having a bad week. His parents have moved him to New Mexico for his fathers' work, his new hometown is overrun with both buffalo and bicycle knaves, and to make things worse, he has to get a job as a fence repairman so the buffalo don't escape and murder one specific woman. But before long, Josh's initially fraught relationship wit…

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Haul Out the Halloween 2:19:02

2M ago2:19:02

2:19:02

If you were making a film and one of your characters was a petulant manbaby who was obsessed with rules, spent half of the film in a costume store pretending to be Gandalf and could only become aroused by enforcing the rules of the local homeowners' association, you'd imagine that character would be the villain, right? Well, welcome to the Hallmark…

1
Girl vs. Monster 2:30:53

3M ago2:30:53

2:30:53

It's spooky season folks, and we're hitting the ground running with 2012's Girl vs. Monster, an ooky, spooky, rip roaring romp about a girl who fights a lot of things that you could certainly describe as monsters if you were absolutely positive there would be no follow up questions. The girl in question is Skylar, a regular teen with a medical lack…

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Hatching Pete 2:22:17

3M ago2:22:17

2:22:17

If the Disney Channel approached you and asked you to write a movie about mascots, but you didn't know anything about mascots, you would probably do one of two things: 1) Go away and learn about mascots, then write the movie. 2) Say "sorry, I don't know anything about mascots, I cannot write this movie". However, there is a secret third option, and…

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Principal Takes a Holiday 2:06:46

4M ago2:06:46

2:06:46

John Scaduto has a problem. If he can get through the school term without getting in trouble, he stands to get a $10,000 check from his grandma. Unfortunately, he has already set into motion an epic prank that will maim his headmaster and earn him up to one demerit on his permanent record. But when his headmaster is incapacitated by a second, unrel…

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Den Brother 2:07:13

4M ago2:07:13

2:07:13

Ice hockey skills. An unbearable personality. Alex Pearson has it all. But when he's suspended for his hockey team for accepting a sponsorship from a local flower shop, he must find new ways to occupy his time, such as becoming the new Den Mother of his sister's troop of girl scout-adjacent Bumblebees, even though... wait, am I reading this right? …

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Money Plane 2:31:32

5M ago2:31:32

2:31:32

If you've ever wondered what the Lawrence brothers, stars of such DCOMs as Horse Sense, Jumping Ship and The Other Me were up to in 2020, the answer is making Money Plane, a heist movie about a high stakes casino in the sky where you can bet on a man having relations with an alligator. Look, it was a bad year for everyone, alright? The film follows…

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How to Build a Better Boy 2:28:33

5M ago2:28:33

2:28:33

We've all imagined how we would build a better boy (built in jetpack/hair made of candy/is actually a dog instead) but few of us have the technology at our disposal to make our dreams a reality. Not so teen geniuses Gabby and Mae, thanks to advanced character creation technology belonging to Mae's dad, a famous videogame designer who doesn't appear…

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Starstruck 2:19:09

5M ago2:19:09

2:19:09

Are celebrities human beings who deserve basic respect and human dignity? Of course not, you're thinking, they're scum and deserve everything bad that happens to them and more. But to that I say: watch the Disney Channel Original Movie Starstruck. You might learn a thing or two. Starstruck follows the adventures of Jessica, a girl with no hobbies o…

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Susie Q 2:11:38

6M ago2:11:38

2:11:38

While not officially a DCOM, Susie Q (1996) offered an opportunity for the Disney Channel to start experimenting with what works and what doesn't in a Disney Channel film. For example, high concept premise? Great, love it. Cute romance blossoming between reluctant companions? Also good, let's keep that. Shot of one of the main characters' smashed u…

1
Dadnapped 2:14:11

6M ago2:14:11

2:14:11

The 2008 Writer's Guild of America strike was responsible for many things: Increased pay for writers, especially in the context of the burgeoning streaming era. A boom in unscripted reality television. And, most regrettably of all, the plot of the Disney Channel Original Movie Dadnapped, in which a dad gets kidnapped. But not just any dad. This dad…

1
The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue: A Gay Pirate Pride Bonus!

7M ago

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Ahoy! It’s Pride season, me hearties! We’ve a lil’ boon for ye, and it’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee. 🌈Find our full pride lineup here! The Patreon version of this episode contains bonus content about how to throw a punch and watching pørn while being ADHD. Don't miss our Pride sale!!! 👇🏾 Get your books here and we'll m…

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Max Keeble's Big Move 2:05:16

7M ago2:05:16

2:05:16

Max Keeble has a lot of problems. His school's colourful bullies are out for his blood. An evil ice cream man wants to kill both him and skateboarding icon Tony Hawk. And he is friends with an unpleasant boy named Robe who wears a stinking bathrobe that canonically smells like diapers. But Max has an ace up his sleeve that none of these life obstac…

1
A Knight in Camelot 2:15:05

7M ago2:15:05

2:15:05

Dedicating your life to scientific pursuits can have countless benefits for humanity, but you have to bear in mind the potential drawbacks. You could study something before its dangerous effects are known, like Marie Curie, invent something monumentally destructive, like J. Robert Oppenheimer, or accidentally fall through a time hole to the court o…

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Coming soon: The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue

8M ago

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Avast, ye! And welcome to an announcement! Our Pride episode will be about The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, and it will be in your feeds on June 17th! We are so excited to talk about this book and want to make sure you all have time to read it or refresh your memory of it before the episode drops. 🌈Find our full pride lineu…

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The Cheetah Girls 2 2:35:59

8M ago2:35:59

2:35:59

World's fiercest girl band The Cheetah Girls are back and heading to the hometown of Chanel's soon to be stepfather, who is a sexual Frenchman named Luc. That's right, we're heading to Barcelona, Spain! Galleria, Chanel, Dorinda and Aqua are heading to Barcelona to enter a contest for undiscovered musical talent, but soon find themselves caught up …

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Extra Helpings Feed Drop: So Weird S3 E06 - Banglebye 1:08:31

8M ago1:08:31

1:08:31

Happy Monday, Mom Can't Cook fans! We've got a bonus episode for you today, courtesy of Extra Helpings, Mom Can't Cook's Patreon-supported bonus podcast. This episode originally aired on Feb 24, 2025, and covers Disney Channel Original TV Show So Weird season 3 episode 6, 'Banglebye'. Get access to over 45 (and counting) hours of bonus episodes by …

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Minutemen 2:37:15

8M ago2:37:15

2:37:15

What would you do with the incredible power of time travel? No, look... no, you can't stop historical tragedies from happening because you can only go back in time 48 hours so- no, you can't buy a lottery ticket either because you're a teenager in this scenario, so you- no, you can't see wonderful things all over the world, you have to remain withi…

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Double Teamed 2:25:23

9M ago2:25:23

2:25:23

Imagine the situation: the Walt Disney company wants to turn your life story into a movie! It's a dream come true. That is, until the movie comes out, and you realise it's a crushingly boring series of basketball games and for some reason they've decided to name it "Double Teamed". You'd be livid. Still, I suppose it has to feature some basketball,…

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208 Ugly Mermen 27:12

9M ago27:12

27:12

We cover some ugly fish guysBy Featured Creatures

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Princess Protection Program 2:33:07

9M ago2:33:07

2:33:07

Being a princess is hard work. You're the best person in your whole kingdom, and yet you're somehow expected to set an example for the scum who live there, and occasionally military dictators will stride into your throne room and declare a military coup. Luckily for those situations, we have the Princess Protection Program, a secret service just fo…

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Camp Rock 2:23:32

10M ago2:23:32

2:23:32

The title of this week's DCOM, Camp Rock, is misleading, because while it does take place at a camp, the only rocking taking place is the rocking back and forth by harrowed students who can't face another day of impromptu unaccompanied singing, people drumming on every available surface, and hip hop dance classes taught by Joe Jonas. Apparently tho…

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The Poof Point 2:13:29

10M ago2:13:29

2:13:29

Parents might seem like they've got everything figured out, but it's worth remembering that they're just one failed time travel experiment away from crying, throwing temper tantrums, and liberally pissing themselves at the slightest provocation. Not so high and mighty now, eh? That's the premise of 2001's The Poof Point, in which accomplished husba…

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Life-Size 2:22:21

11M ago2:22:21

2:22:21

We're back in the Wonderful World of Disney this week, to check out Life-Size, the 2000 comedy starring Lindsay Lohan as a grieving little girl who uses a necromancy grimoire to try and resurrect her dead mother, and Tyra Banks as a doll who comes to life and tries to have sex with that little girl's father. Lohan plays Casey, a young girl who uses…

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Read It and Weep 2:15:02

11M ago2:15:02

2:15:02

High-schooler Jamie Bartlett finds herself thrust onto the world stage when an email error sees her fictionlised journal become a nationwide best-seller. But what will happen if her fellow students find out some of the characters are loosely based on them?! If your answer is 'probably nothing?' then boy does Read It and Weep have a problem with you…

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High School Musical 2 2:31:42

12M ago2:31:42

2:31:42

High School Musical is back in High School Musical 2! Will this one contain an actual musical? No! And also it's not even set in a high school this time! With school out for the summer, the Wildcats of East High find themselves working at a snooty country club owned by the parents of objectively best characters Ryan and Sharpay Evans. But as sports…

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207 Grab Bag XII 37:05

12M ago37:05

37:05

With Alan out of town, its just Alex and Garrett. We go over some odd Grab bag creaturesBy Featured Creatures

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Extra Helpings Feed Drop: So Weird S2 E10 - Oopa 1:06:06

12M ago1:06:06

1:06:06

Mom Can't Cook! returns on 20 Jan with High School Musical 2, but until then we thought we'd treat you to a feed drop of a classic episode of Extra Helpings, Mom Can't Cook's Patreon-exclusive bonus podcast. This episode originally aired on 22 April 2024, and covers Disney Channel Original TV Show So Weird season 2 episode 10, 'Oopa'. Get access to…

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Holiday in Handcuffs 2:12:28

1y ago2:12:28

2:12:28

Xmas is here folks, and what better way to celebrate than with a LIVE recap of a film about a violent kidnapping, let me finish, that takes place at Christmas? That's right, it's Holiday in Handcuffs, the 2007 romantic comedy in which Melissa Joan Hart, recently dumped by her boyfriend and facing the prospect of a dateless Christmas with her family…

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Muppet Treasure Island 1:04:53

1y ago1:04:53

1:04:53

Happy Yule! Today we are bringing you the gift of an episode about Muppet Treasure Island. The patreon version of this episode contains bonus content about Tim Curry’s career, telling left from right (and teaching dogs to do it too), the need for a lesbian Miss Piggy movie, the movie Better Luck Tomorrow, and a couple appearances by Lark’s dogs. He…

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206 Just some little guys 38:43

1y ago38:43

38:43

this week we cover some little guysBy Featured Creatures

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Hot Frosty 2:10:03

1y ago2:10:03

2:10:03

What if a snowman came to life? It'd be pretty horrifying I expect, on account of how he'd be like, three fleshy balls, precariously balanced on top of each other. But what if the snowman had abs? Pretty sexy, right? Also he has the mind of a child. Wait, come back. That's the premise for Hot Frosty (2024), Netflix's smash hit holiday movie in whic…

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205 Kasai Rex 34:29

1y ago34:29

34:29

Today we cover a classic also Alan had Technical dificultiesBy Featured Creatures

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H-E Double Hockey Sticks 2:17:32

1y ago2:17:32

2:17:32

We return to The Wonderful World of Disney for this week's offering, 1999's H-E Double Hockey Sticks, which reunites Boy Meets World's Will Friedel and Matthew Lawrence as Griffelkin, a demon in training, and Dave Heinrich, an ambitious hockey player who would sell his soul to win the Stanley Cup, and then does do that. But that's when things start…

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204 Grab Bag XI 45:43

1y ago45:43

45:43

needed a break from Bigfoot soo here is a grab bag from a terrible websiteBy Featured Creatures

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Halloweentown High 2:11:23

1y ago2:11:23

2:11:23

In a last gasp for Halloween 2024, Mom Can't Cook is back with our live Halloween special, in which we're recapping 2004's Halloweentown High! Marnie Cromwell, powerful witch and Best Person In The World is back with a new plan to unite the human world and Halloweentown: make a bunch of Halloweentown students attend her high school, in disguise, so…

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203 Sasquatch Part 3 : Bigfoot History 57:44

1y ago57:44

57:44

after more technical difficulkties we finally bring you our researched Bigfoot episodeBy Featured Creatures

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The Haunted Mansion 2:09:58

1y ago2:09:58

2:09:58

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Mom Can't Cook podcast! Consider this dismaying observation: this episode is about the 2003 Haunted Mansion movie, which offered us this chilling challenge: watching the 2003 Haunted Mansion movie. Eddie Murphy plays Jim Evers, a workaholic real estate agent who drags his family to the titular manse with the hopes o…

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Twitches 2:08:54

1y ago2:08:54

2:08:54

Spooky season is here, Mom Can't Cook fans, and we're kicking off with a slam dunk DCOM about twins who are also witches. That's right, it's Twitches! Sister Sister's Tia and Tamera Mowry play Alexandra and Camryn, two strangers who run into each other in a clothing store and realise that not only are they twins, they are also powerful witches able…

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202 Grab Bag X 33:28

1y ago33:28

33:28

WE talk about A.S.S.By Featured Creatures

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Jump In! 2:10:57

1+ y ago2:10:57

2:10:57

This week, the DCOM writers spin the sports wheel and get a teen... [BOXER] who is worried about the ridicule he'll receive for his secret love of... [COMPETITIVE DOUBLE DUTCH JUMP ROPE]. Huh. Not sure how that got on here, but let's see how they get on. The boxer in question is Isadore "Izzy" Daniels, a pugilistic prodigy under a lot of pressure f…

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201 Sasquatch part 2 : General discussion 35:02

1+ y ago35:02

35:02

our attempt to record after we lost a recording due to technical issues.By Featured Creatures

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200! Sasquatch Part 1 : Sasquatch types 48:17

1+ y ago48:17

48:17

To celebrate our 200th episdoe we finaly cover Sasquatch... kinda Also sorry about alans sound quality he was out of town and left his mic at home.By Featured Creatures

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Jett Jackson: The Movie 2:24:56

1+ y ago2:24:56

2:24:56

Jett Jackson is the star of the hit TV show Silverstone, a thrilling spy drama full of karate and explosions. He's also a regular kid trying to keep his grades up and ask his friend Kayla to the prom. As you can imagine, this is a challenging lifestyle to maintain that only gets more difficult when he accidentally falls through a dimension hole and…

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199 Veo 25:36

1+ y ago25:36

25:36

By Featured Creatures

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Zenon: Z3 2:29:01

1+ y ago2:29:01

2:29:01

Vega omega, Mom Can't Cook! fans, this week we're heading back to the spay-stay for another instalment in the Zenon series of sci fi films that is confusing major, as well as viral extreme (bad). When we join our hero Zenon, she has a lot going on, with a new cousin, her space driving test, and the Galactic Teen Supreme contest all vying for her at…

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198 The Wolfman of Chestnut Mountain 38:21

1+ y ago38:21

38:21

By Featured Creatures