Best Masterbator Podcasts (2025)

1
Drunk Coon In A Liquor Store, Pittsburgh Grinch, and A Masterbating Fireman 1:25:50

Play Pause

21d ago1:25:50

1:25:50

The Grinch is alive & arrested in Pittsburgh after trying to "end Christmas". A racoon is in AA after breaking into a liquor store & slurping up enough booze to pass out in the bathroom. A fireman is being "hosed" for playing with his "fire hose" in multiple locations. In this Midweek BONUS Episode... Man Set His Family's Home On Fire Following Arg…

1
Inflantion Hits Santa's Cookies, GameStop's Trade Anything Day, and Grandma's Birthday Cake Fire 34:22

10d ago34:22

34:22

(00:00:00) Inflantion Hits Santa's Cookies, GameStop's Trade Anything Day, and Grandma's Birthday Cake Fire (00:02:03) A Piece of My Mind (00:06:27) A Pancho-less Week of Stupidity We are "Pancho-less" for this FINAL 2025 Episode...Pancho took a week of vacation so he could contract strep throat so this Weekend Episode is not only late being publis…

1
Sniifing Farts, DoorDash-dardly Deed, Dead Hog Smorgasboard 1:28:27

14d ago1:28:27

1:28:27

(00:00:00) Sniifing Farts, DoorDash-dardly Deed, Dead Hog Smorgasboard (00:00:43) Midweek BONUS Stupidity (01:01:26) Insane Week In Review (01:09:46) Genius Awards Increase your brain power ...not from Reader's Digest, but from your own "air biscuits"! If you're getting food from a DoorDasher, better have your Ring Camera rolling! Internet influenc…

1
Overthinking Parenthood, Russian Bird-Biodrones, and Pit Porn 2:06:25

18d ago2:06:25

2:06:25

(00:00:00) Overthinking Parenthood, Russian Bird-Biodrones, and Pit Porn (00:01:40) A PIece of My Mind (00:08:11) Pancho Guero My Insane FL Nephew (01:15:24) Ask Pancho (01:36:48) Insane Game Show (01:51:51) Coming Next Episode There is a degree of trepidation for new parents but when overthinking becomes the norm, it's time for a reality check. We…

1
Bald Eagle Cat Bomb, TSA Tampon Scan, and A Radio Show Creepy Caller 2:09:14

25d ago2:09:14

2:09:14

Nature can be so beautiful until it comes through your car's windshield as you travel down the freeway! My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" will graphically tell you how one woman from NC got a front row seat experience. Going through airport security is stressful enough without the realization that those TSA officers operating the scanners can see…

1
Squeezable Leftover Gravy, Buck Naked FL Man, and An IA Man Flashes For Excitement 1:33:42

28d ago1:33:42

1:33:42

Nothing spells "yummy" like squeezable gravy in a bottle. But the ingenious people a Heinz had to add the word, "leftover" to really add some pizazz. Polk Co., FL Sheriff Grady Judd has a visual for what it means to be "buck naked", thanks to a FL man claiming to be doing a TikTok challenge...without his phone. In a stunning display of the definiti…

1
ChatBot Children, Cockroach Murder Accomplice, Smuggled Parakeets In Underwear 1:43:14

1M ago1:43:14

1:43:14

If you're going to develop feelings for your AI Chatbot, shouldn't you also let it have your children? Some people seem to think so. A lot of the psychotic murderers hear voices in their heads telling them to kill people. This guy hears it from bugs. If you're going to sneak birds out of a country, do you think putting them in your shorts next to y…

1
Baby's Diaper Consent, Chatbot Jesus, Scottish "Windmilling", and Pancho's Boobie Tea Pot 1:50:39

1M ago1:50:39

1:50:39

I'm all about proper protocol but when parents have to start granting consent from their newborn before they can remove a poopy diaper, protocol goes down the commode. You can now chat with the Almighty right from your smartphone and pray to Jesus just like you would do a Google search! Windmills look so picturesque when seen against a sunset. But …

1
Bass Pro Shop Bathroom Beatdown, Naked Chainsawing, and A Bearista Cup Bruhaha 1:22:19

1M ago1:22:19

1:22:19

If you thought things could get tense when a line of women are trying to get into a bathroom, wait until you hear about what happens when a bunch of men at a Bass Pro Shop need to potty! You've heard stories of naked gardening, but now you're treated in this episode to naked chainsawing. But the neighbors were not amused. Starbucks Coffee may not g…

1
Police Pig On The Loose!, Big Boob Bubbles, Police Chief Stung By Hooker Crime 1:53:38

2M ago1:53:38

1:53:38

An officer with the City of Buffalo couldn't keep his "Breakfast" contained and it went after a woman in his neighborhood. A man in the UK couldn't stop looking at boobs after his eye surgery. A police chief couldn't stop helping prostitutes get off the street and got caught up in a sting operation. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" and I will ex…

1
Pantless Police Officer On Zoom, Walmart Monkey In A Diaper, and An AZ Judge Peein In The Bushes 1:26:58

2M ago1:26:58

1:26:58

Halloween really brings out the stupid in people and we have some examples. Also a judge saw too much evidence displayed by a police officer in a Zoom hearing when it was revealed that the cop was revealing more than he focused on. Attention Walmart shopper...loose monkey in a diaper in the Halloween department. A ticket in the hand is better than …

1
College Kids Cheat AND Apologize With AI, Duckfaced Woman On A Roller Coaster, and Nutmaxxing 1:57:11

2M ago1:57:11

1:57:11

It's bad enough to cheat on a college paper by using artificial intelligence. But when the profs caught the cheaters, the profs began getting letters of apology....ony to later discover that the apology letters were also written with AI. Riding a roller coaster to experience the thrill of speed and gravity defiance was suddenly interruped for one w…

1
Booger Candy, A "Glam Campbell" AI Remix, and Smashing Pumpkins At Target 1:26:04

2M ago1:26:04

1:26:04

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose and now you can pick up some booger candy ...but I wouldn't recommend you put that in your nose. Someone who had more spare time on their hands than time would allow wondered what Glen Campbell's 1975 hit, "Rhinestone Cowboy" would sound like if it were done by an 80's glam metal band. So, he use…

1
Skeleton Strip Show Snitfit, 67, Monkey Madness, & ‘Whitexicans’ In Queens 1:48:58

2M ago1:48:58

1:48:58

Halloween sure brings out the stupid in people and this is the place to find out how. Monkeys one the loose both virtually and literally from NJ to MS. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" who considers himself a "Mexican-In-Law" has news about how New Yorkers are losing their minds over a restaurant that triggers all the left-wingnuts. 67. In This …

1
The Ultimate Bush Thongs, Montana Pumpkin Mystery, and A Diamond-Encrusted Eyeball 1:22:14

2M ago1:22:14

1:22:14

Just when you thought Kim Kardashian couldn't get any more stupid ideas, we now have an option to buy our girl a frisky thong with pubic hair. A 30-year long mystery has plagued the Missoula campus of the University of Montana that finds a pumpkin somehow impaled atop of a spire high above the Main Hall. No one knows who, why, or how. Would you tru…

1
Toxic Toad Licking, Smart Bed Snafu, and A Slow Check-Out Stabbing 1:54:40

2M ago1:54:40

1:54:40

Having the insaciable urge to lick something should lead a person to an ice cream cone or a lolipop--not frogs. But some people are just stupid, as you will discover when my Insane FL Nephew Pancho Guero will tell you. A lot of smart beds got stupid when the massive outage occurred at Amazon Web Services (AWS), leaving some night owls sleeping like…

1
Scent-Based Alarm Clocks, Thermos Up The Rectum, and A Crock-Pot Cauldron 1:34:47

2M ago1:34:47

1:34:47

Imagine waking up to the smell of fresh coffee, bacon, or gasoline. Just pick what suits your fancy the next time you have a hotel stay. Some Holiday Inn Express hotels are introducing scent-based alarm clocks! Was this guy trying to keep his soup warm when he shoved what looks to be a 20-oz. THERMOS up his "exit ramp"? As my Insane FL Nephew, "Pan…

1
Career Catfishing, His & Hers DUI, and Taylor Swift's "Wood" 1:18:11

3M ago1:18:11

1:18:11

You might have been the victim of or the perputrator to the dating scam known as "catfishing" where you portray yourself as something you're not. Now this has evolved to the job hunting profession. When you say your wedding vows, you typically promise "to death do us part"...but can you also comimit "to DUI do us serve"? One couple did & ended up c…

1
Death-Themed Coffee, Mushroom Mocktails, and Diarrhea In The Face 1:19:10

3M ago1:19:10

1:19:10

Would you pick up a cup of "Graveyard Shift Coffee" on your way into the hospital to visit your terminally ill grandma? The Mayo Clinic would probably not endose this, so they booted the death-themed coffee truck from its parking lot. Would you spare the hangover by drinking a mocktail made from mushrooms? Would you consider a career in corrections…

1
Billboard Bachelorette, Eating Peacocks For Spite, and A $10M "Seed Round" For Sperm Races 1:40:17

3M ago1:40:17

1:40:17

Forget being a mail-order bride, that's so old-fashioned. Be a Billboard Bride aan tell everyone you're "available" with an online application. One way to teach your neighbors about not feeding your pets is to EAT them. The pets. Not the neighbors. A Florida man did just that with his peacocks. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero", thinks ESPN shoul…

1
In-n-Out Burger's "Home Run", Meltdown In The Delta Lounge, and An NFL "Poo-Nami" 1:16:11

3M ago1:16:11

1:16:11

When you hit a "home run" at an In-n-Out Burger, you're not coming in first. When you crash a Delta Sky Lounge without credentials, you're are going out first. When you change a baby's diaper, you really don't know what's coming out first. You'll understand all of these when you check out this Midweek BONUS Episode... In this Midweek BONUS Episode.…

1
IgNoble Awards, Bus Driver "Cooks" Students, and A FL Bear's Tale 2:01:59

3M ago2:01:59

2:01:59

Did you know you can actually get an "award" for inventing something stupid? My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" breaks down the recent recipients of the "Ig-Noble" Awards. Those elementary school kids can drive teachers nuts sometimes. They also drive the bus drivers to the point of stupidity...and one school bus driver used the heater to "cook" t…

1
Emotional Support Gator At Walmart, Rebelious Austrian Nuns, and Hotpot Pee 1:18:13

3M ago1:18:13

1:18:13

You are likely to see just about anything inside any given Walmart. But what about an alligator in a shopping cart...in a dress? After 85+ years living the "straight and narrow" as nuns, 3 octogenarian sisters are not about to be told where to retire. When you're young and stupid there's a pretty good chance you're going to do something that will l…

1
Dorm Room Bear Skinning, Birthday Cake Bottle Rockets, and Brake-Checking An Ambulance 1:52:13

3M ago1:52:13

1:52:13

Oh, those silly college kids. They will do just about anything stupid. Sometime illegal...but there's no laws broken when 2 Cornell students bag a bear and skin it in the dorm. My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero" describes all the gory details. Some parents didn't read the package when they bought birthday candles for their kids because it turned o…

1
Blue and Red Squirrels, DUI In A Pink Barbie Jeep, & CPR On A Coon 1:13:49

3M ago1:13:49

1:13:49

Red Pill or Blue Pill? That was the question in The Matrix. So, where would you find Red Squirrel or Blue Squirrel? In this podcast! You get thirsty for a slurpie & you don't want to walk...and you're a little tipsy...what to do? Grab your daughter's pink Barbie Jeep & head for the 7-Eleven. You have to really love animals to give a coon CPR. And t…

1
Nestlé' CEO's "Swiss Miss", Stupid Work Mistakes, and "Phillies Karen" 2:08:12

4M ago2:08:12

2:08:12

There was no JumboTron expose like what happened at the Coldplay concert, but it was a hotline that the mistress of the Nestlé CEO put him in "hot chocolate" by reporting his affair with a company employee. It's one thing when the CEO of a major comany makes a stupid work mistake, but what about the regular slobs? My Insane FL Nephew, "Pancho Guero…

1
A Crime-Fighting Nun, Cracker Barrel Blow-up, and Catfighting At Walmart 1:29:37

4M ago1:29:37

1:29:37

The 1960's-era TV show called, The Flying Nun, is nothing compared to the crime-fighting nun of Pittsburgh. Some surprises you may not have realized from the still-ongoing controversy that has really burnt the biscuits at Cracker Barrel. Nothing screams "Walmart" like a knock-down, drag-out involving a crowd of women in the check-out aisle. In this…

1
Naked Yoga, The Dude Wipe "Tush Push", and A Fouled-Up Foot Fetish 1:46:39

4M ago1:46:39

1:46:39

It's supposed to enhance body positivity, fitness, and self-esteem when you engage in nude yoga. But does it do anything else? Americans will find anything to sponsor to make some money and that even includes the (in)famous Tush Push NFL play by the Philadelphia Eagles. And they've found the perfect sponsor. Meeting someone in a hotel room that you…

1
Judge Flubs Verdict; Nude Airline Gate Show; Little Leage Betting 1:20:35

4M ago1:20:35

1:20:35

How would you feel if you get a "Guilty" verdict in court for a crime you didn't commit...only to find out 20 seconds later that the judge messed up reading the verdict? Wonder how the judge feels? It can be pretty boring waiting around the airport for your flight to be called, but if you have some striptease entertainment, it might make the time g…

1
Strangest 9-1-1 Calls TWO HOUR COMPILATION Scary 911 Calls 2:22:34

4M ago2:22:34

2:22:34

Strangest 9-1-1 Calls TWO HOUR COMPILATION Scary 911 Calls

1
Alien Abductions and Terrifying Alien Encounters True Stories - UFO Video Compilation 51:34

4M ago51:34

51:34

Alien Abductions and Terrifying Alien Encounters True Stories - UFO Video Compilation Alien Abductions and Terrifying Alien Encounters True Stories - UFO Video CompilationTRUE Paranormal stories told by people who have experienced Ghosts. From Nurses sharing terrifying last words of patients as they die to Demons who attack Military units in Iraq. …

1
When You Return Wrecked Cars to the Rental Place | Hilarious Reddit Stories 26:50

4M ago26:50

26:50

When You Return Wrecked Cars to the Rental Place | Hilarious Reddit Stories

1
My Husband is a Pedophile, I called the police and turned him in. (A Crazy Reddit Ask Me Anything) 18:35

4M ago18:35

18:35

My Husband is a Pedophile, I called the police and turned him in. (A Crazy Reddit Ask Me Anything)

1
I Quietly Moved All Our Savings and Filed for Divorce While My Wife Was Out Cheating on Me. 41:41

4M ago41:41

41:41

I Quietly Moved All Our Savings and Filed for Divorce While My Wife Was Out Cheating on Me.

1
People who were almost Murdered, What's your story? 59:50

4M ago59:50

59:50

People who were almost Murdered, What's your story?

1
What Myth or Folklore Do You Firmly Believe In? (Cryptids, Aliens, Wood Creatures, Demons, etc.) 39:44

4M ago39:44

39:44

What Myth or Folklore Do You Firmly Believe In? (Cryptids, Aliens, Wood Creatures, Demons, etc.)

1
What’s The Dumbest Excuse You Gave When Caught Masterbating? | NSFW Reddit 33:21

4M ago33:21

33:21

What’s The Dumbest Excuse You Gave When Caught Masterbating? | NSFW Reddit

1
What was your Creepy Mystery as a Child that was confirmed by your Parents to have happened? 59:45

4M ago59:45

59:45

What was your Creepy Mystery as a Child that was confirmed by your Parents to have happened?

1
What’s the Darkest Confession you’ve ever kept hidden from everyone? 59:10

4M ago59:10

59:10

What’s the Darkest Confession you’ve ever kept hidden from everyone?

1
What Is Your Craziest "I Didn't Expect To Get Laid Today" Story? 40:58

4M ago40:58

40:58

What Is Your Craziest "I Didn't Expect To Get Laid Today" Story?

1
What is your “Highway Horror” Story? 43:58

4M ago43:58

43:58

What is your “Highway Horror” Story?

1
Siblings of Sociopaths or Narcissists, when did you realize your sibling wasn't normal? 59:38

4M ago59:38

59:38

Siblings of Sociopaths or Narcissists, when did you realize your sibling wasn't normal?

1
What's The Most Morally Questionable Thing You've Done But Would Never Admit To? | Ask Reddit 58:46

4M ago58:46

58:46

What's The Most Morally Questionable Thing You've Done But Would Never Admit To? | Ask Reddit

1
I was mauled by a bear and I fought it off. Ask Me Anything! 14:05

4M ago14:05

14:05

I was mauled by a bear and I fought it off. Ask Me Anything! I was mauled by a bear, fought it off, and drove 4 miles down a mountain with my face hanging off. AMA

1
Caught My Wife in the Act With a Stranger in Our Car—So I Recorded Everything and Waited. 42:04

4M ago42:04

42:04

Caught My Wife in the Act With a Stranger in Our Car—So I Recorded Everything and Waited.

1
Emergency Workers: What is the scariest/worst call you've ever had? 1:00:07

4M ago1:00:07

1:00:07

Emergency Workers: What is the scariest/worst call you've ever had?

1
People Who Slept With A Friend's Mom or Dad, How Did It Go? 41:46

4M ago41:46

41:46

People Who Slept With A Friend's Mom or Dad, How Did It Go?

1
Super-Glued Teeth; Catfishing Fishermen; and Hamstering On A Sunroof 2:00:41

4M ago2:00:41

2:00:41

Would you trust your teeth to the Tapp Inn Beauty Bar to veneer your teeth...even if they used Gorrilla Glue? Some did and paid a hefty price! There are fishermen posing as interested women on dating apps so they can steal other fishermen's favorite fishing spots. Inspiration for enhancing romance has been found in how hamsters drink water! Curious…

1
Radioactive Shrimp; Biohazard Diarrhea; and Pregnant Robots! 1:14:42

4M ago1:14:42

1:14:42

If you eat frozen shrimp from Walmart, you might glow in the dark! If you eat undercooked hamburger in a foreign country, your trip home may be explosive in the plane's bathroom. Robots may soon be surragates for your next baby! In this Midweek BONUS Episode... You Should Probably Not Eat the Radioactive Shrimp from Walmart Angler Hooked a 4-ft. Al…

1
Nurses, Doctors, Hospital Workers: What's your Creepiest Experience in a Hospital? 52:44

4M ago52:44

52:44

Nurses, Doctors, Hospital Workers: What's your Creepiest Experience in a Hospital?By Gawid Entertainment Podcasts