Best Celibacy Definition Podcasts (2025)

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Does Your Halloween Party Suck? 1:19:01

Play Pause

13h ago1:19:01

1:19:01

This week we're talking about Halloween parties. Specifically how to improve your party with a few simple tips from Iron Chef Andrew Muscarella. Plus: How To Be Less Fuggo. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/goodchildrenpod instagram.com/joehegy…

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The Definitive Ranking of Halloween Candy 1:14:26

7d ago1:14:26

1:14:26

It's basically Halloween. Join Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompa and Violet Beauregarde on a journey through time and space as they discuss their favorite halloween candies, and the imp that has been haunting their apartment. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: insta…

1
I Got Catfished 9 Times 1:03:33

7d ago1:03:33

1:03:33

How can one man be catfished nine times? This week we unpack Andrew's relationship to... trust? HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/goodchildrenpod instagram.com/joehegyes instagram.com/andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: tiktok.com/goodchildre…

1
Straight Guys, Butt Stuff, and Other Questions You Asked 1:16:45

22d ago1:16:45

1:16:45

This week we're answering YOUR questions. Good Children, please report to the guidance office. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US O…

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Celibacy, First Times, and Being Late Bloomers 1:14:50

1M ago1:14:50

1:14:50

This week, we’re discussing being celibate. For us, that means our entire lives up until about 23 years old. It also means the first year of this podcast. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie …

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The Early Days of Instagram 1:06:46

1M ago1:06:46

1:06:46

Groufits, BuzzFeed, Facetune, EDs... This week, we go back in time through our Instagram archives to get to the bottom of who we've been pretending to be all our lives. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella E…

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Taylor and Travis: The Engagement Episode 1:23:49

2M ago1:23:49

1:23:49

BREAKING NEWS: Taylor Swift is engaged to Travis Kelce. In this emergency episode, we discuss their future wedding, our thoughts on marriage, and more. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edm…

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The Rules of Open Relationships 1:10:44

2M ago1:10:44

1:10:44

This week, the boys break down the phenomena of open relationships. Who sets the rules? Who gets to play? Do you tell your partner about your hookups? And more. Plus: hear from a concerned listener (Grant Gibbs) as they share their trials and tribulations on the outside of someone else's relationship. Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pan…

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The Death of Body Positivity 1:15:59

2M ago1:15:59

1:15:59

*TW: This week's episode touches on some very real themes surrounding body dysmorphia and weight loss drugs.* Today we're breaking down our ever-changing relationships to our bodies in a GLP-1 dominated society. New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST on Patreon. No filter. No notes. No pants (optional): https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod Joe’s…

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How It Feels to Fall for a Boy for the First Time 1:10:59

2M ago1:10:59

1:10:59

Did someone order an episode of Love, Victor? This week, we’re talking our first gay romances. Joe met a boy at the Met and spent the summer in museum corners, on crowded trains, on dates that felt like a movie. Andrew kissed someone under fireworks and fell into weeks of new friends, nights at Stonewall, rose petals, the works. It was tender. It w…

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Going to Poundtown at the Beach 1:11:39

3M ago1:11:39

1:11:39

Good Children: The Podcast is known for its fearless, unflinching commitment to investigative journalism. This week, we take on the most urgent question of our time: why does summer in New York City make us so h*rny, sweaty, and lowkey depressed? From cruising at the beach to falling in love on the L train, we examine the intersection of heat, humi…

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Sitting, Scooping, and Sucking: Bathroom Politics 1:04:41

3M ago1:04:41

1:04:41

Good Children: The Podcast continues its brave, Pulitzer-adjacent coverage of the issues that matter. This week, we investigate the modern bathroom: a space for releasing, for sucking, for crying, and wondering when you'll buy toilet paper again. From the architectural injustice of door-to-floor stalls to the unspoken rules of public restroom etiqu…

1
Bagels: A Definitive Ranking 1:10:52

3M ago1:10:52

1:10:52

Good Children: The Podcast prides itself on award-winning journalism that isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions that might make other comedian podcast duos uncomfortable. This week, we're tackling our toughest subject yet: would you f*ck that bagel? Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every T…

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Early Signs of Daddy Puberty 1:04:11

3M ago1:04:11

1:04:11

This week, we’re talking Daddy Puberty: the slow, confusing transformation from boy to twink to… Daddy. Is it a mindset? A muscle mass threshold? A beard-to-hair ratio? We break down the biology, the psychology, and the pop culture mythology of what it really means to enter your Daddy Era. Plus: pop culture daddies from childhood and a debate over …

1
Escaping The Fire Island Hookup Forest 1:17:06

4M ago1:17:06

1:17:06

This week, we embed ourselves deep inside the myth, the legend, the cautionary tale that is Fire Island. Our mission? To uncover the truth behind the infamous Belvedere Hotel, an all-nude, men-only boarding house perched just beyond the bounds of good judgment. What begins as an overnight getaway quickly spirals into blackouts at drag brunch, fight…

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From The Archive: Who Drank At My 17th Birthday Party? 46:48

4M ago46:48

46:48

ONE WEEK UNTIL WE'RE BACK WITH NEW EPISODES! Thanks for your patience <3 In the meantime, find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod This week, travel back to a cold case from 2013 in which 12 beer cans were discovered at Joe's 17th birthday party. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLO…

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From The Archive: Bear in the Woods (S4E7) 1:30:22

4M ago1:30:22

1:30:22

Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?) Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.* *a few weeks. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & A…

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From The Archive: Chimes and Punishment (S4E10) 1:18:21

4M ago1:18:21

1:18:21

Did you know acapella groups participate in violent hazing rituals? This week we're taking it back to last summer, when Andrew revealed the traumatic story behind his barefooted days as a Loyola Chime. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Mu…

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From The Archive: HOW TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE (S2E1) 1:24:31

4M ago1:24:31

1:24:31

Throwing it back to when we tried to be an educational podcast: "Let's learn to put ourselves out there together: from using the internet to gain notoriety as a middle schooler, to dealing with bullying and humiliation in high school, this episode gets traumatic. The boys talk about body image, their first gay dates, their most embarrassing moments…

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FROM THE ARCHIVE: You Get To Exhale Now, Totino (S3E21) 1:06:28

5M ago1:06:28

1:06:28

Today we're taking it back to a particularly vulnerable conversation on sex. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: …

1
FROM THE ARCHIVE: Boys State (S2E25) 53:37

5M ago53:37

53:37

Let's travel back to two summers ago when Andrew shared his military camp story with the world for the very first time. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joeheg…

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FROM THE ARCHIVE: Meet You At The Mall (S1E1) 38:09

5M ago38:09

38:09

Today we're taking it all the way back to our very first episode, back when we were two delusional twinks with a dream and chronic acid reflux. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: …

1
When Podcasting Works Out 1:17:30

5M ago1:17:30

1:17:30

Today we're celebrating our three year anniversary with a retrospect on all of the historic moments and people we've had the pleasure of experiences in our time as podcasters. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Ed…

1
I Hate Birthday Parties 1:14:35

6M ago1:14:35

1:14:35

HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR FEARLESS LEADER: Andrew Thee Muscarella. Today we're talking all things birthday. PLUS: Meet Garrett! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOL…

1
Gays in Spring 1:10:27

6M ago1:10:27

1:10:27

This week we talk about the worst season of all time: spring. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn …

1
An Episode About Sleep 1:05:11

6M ago1:05:11

1:05:11

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE! Grab your PJs. Close your eyes. No seriously—close them. This week, we’re diving under the covers to talk about the one thing we all want more of and still somehow sabotage nightly. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITO…

1
Our Favorite Subject 1:21:14

6M ago1:21:14

1:21:14

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE! This episode is all about something we hold very dear to our hearts. It's long. It’s short. It’s complicated. It’s the root of wars, poems, traffic violations, and bad decisions made in locker rooms, dorm rooms, and boardrooms alike. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: pat…

1
The Hunger Games Made Me Not Suicidal 1:12:42

7M ago1:12:42

1:12:42

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE! This week, for the third time, we are bringing you back to the woods of Long Island, 2012, as Joe and Andrew partake in a life-or-death battle against fellow high schoolers in a dramatic re-enactment of The Hunger Games. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOST…

1
Can A Zoo Be Ethical? And Other Moral Debates You Expect From This Podcast 1:18:24

7M ago1:18:24

1:18:24

This week we take a very serious look at zoos as Andrew presses Joe on the ethical boundaries of zookeepers and Joe argues for the proper care and conservation of endangered species. No, we’re not kidding, that’s what the episode is about. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andre…

1
The Midwest Is the Europe of America 1:13:49

7M ago1:13:49

1:13:49

This week we bring you along for the ride of a lifetime as we talk through our most recent set of live shows in the midwest. From a rental car debacle that almost ended in disaster to an elevator experience some could describe as impossible, we made it through by the skin of our teeth and the synthetic fibers of our Chappell Roan wigs. Join the Pat…

1
You (Might) Have A Phone Addiction 1:20:33

7M ago1:20:33

1:20:33

This week we talk about our very complicated relationship to the internet, dating back to the dawn of social media and all the way up to the present day, where it’s lowkey our entire livelihood (and what that means for our mental health). We also talk about the addictive quality of going viral and how we secretly compare ourselves to each other. Wh…

1
Well, Well, Wellness 1:17:39

7M ago1:17:39

1:17:39

Today we tackle wellness culture: from experiments in goop to cauliflower crust ending with some positive affirmations by Pharrell Williams. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmu…

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Jon Lovett on Math, Chipotle, & Long Island 1:13:44

8M ago1:13:44

1:13:44

Today we're joined by Gay Long Island Podcast Royalty: Jon Lovett. From a career in political speechwriting to a stint on Survivor, Jon traces his life back to his roots: a suburban upbringing on Long Island, New York. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: …

1
The Body Keeps The Score, And, Girl, We’re Getting Our Ass Beat 1:28:57

8M ago1:28:57

1:28:57

LAST CHANCE Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!! TW: Diet Culture, Body Image, and, girlllll, just some typical self-hating gays. Today we move through our journeys with fitness as we giggle and gab about workout classes. From the dark room of SoulCyle to the comfort of an at-home workout, we’ve pretty much tried everything once. C…

1
If You’re In Your Darkest Hour: Click On This 1:14:10

8M ago1:14:10

1:14:10

This week, we are back on the timeless subject of Valentine’s Day. Joe and Andrew discuss angel food cake, the devil, Instagram flirting tactics, Hailee Steinfeld, Hailee Steinfeld’s dad, Sia’s Jamaican patois, and the mental and emotional state of one of our perpetually Valentine-less hosts, who will remain unnamed. Tickets for Indianapolis, Chica…

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The Sick & Twisted Story of A Twink & A Redhead 1:18:54

8M ago1:18:54

1:18:54

This week we're joined by our IRL besties, Grant Gibbs and Ashley Gill AKA A Twink and a Redhead! We talk about our parallel lives growing up together in the tri-state area, our joint love of chain restaurants, and getting to know each other as neighbors in Brooklyn! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.c…

1
What Cruise Ships Do To The Brain 1:13:53

9M ago1:13:53

1:13:53

Today we're talking CRUISING!!!!! Specifically the family vacation we took together in 2022 that was anything but smooth sailing. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FO…

1
The Life & Death of Shirley Temple 54:37

9M ago54:37

54:37

This week, get a look behind the Patreon Paywall with a very special episode, where Andrew tells Joe all about the life and death of legendary film star Shirley Temple. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella FOL…

1
Why Ben Platt Performs 1:05:22

9M ago1:05:22

1:05:22

Ben Platt joins the boys for an honest conversation about anxiety, aspirations, and The Search for Elle Woods. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: …

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Why Is Spending The Night So Scary? 1:19:53

9M ago1:19:53

1:19:53

Today the boys discuss the timeless hell that is a sleepover. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.…

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Getting Naked With Your Best Friend 1:18:45

10M ago1:18:45

1:18:45

Happy Nude Year! After a life-changing three day visit to a Korean Spa in Los Angeles, the boys discuss the complications of being in touch with their own bodies, with stories from middle school to Melbourne, Australia. Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tour tickets HERE!! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: pa…

1
DO NOT HIRE A GRINCH IMPERSONATOR 1:00:56

10M ago1:00:56

1:00:56

Merry Christmas to AWLL! Today Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch work it out on the remix before Joe and Andrew dive into their storied history with The Grinch. From elaborately themed experiential walkthroughs at summer camp, to unsolicited visits in college, all the way to the fateful Grinch impersonator that changed Snowchella forever. Chicago, India…

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Ilana Glazer on Long Island, Weed, Motherhood, & Broad City 1:06:17

10M ago1:06:17

1:06:17

Today we're joined by the icon who made this podcast possible: Ilana Glazer. We discuss growing up on Long Island, weed-induced anxiety attacks, motherhood, working with your best friend, and Ilana's latest project; "Human Magic" out December 20th on Hulu & Disney+. Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.co…

1
Why Does Santa Punish Us? 1:14:31

10M ago1:14:31

1:14:31

Is it ethical to raise children under the threat of Santa Claus? Today we join Buddy the Elf and Santa Claws himself for a discussion on Santa Claus... the good.. the bad.. and the freaks! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter code: GOODCHILDREN at checkout for 40% off your first order. Terms and conditions apply. Join the Patreon community for a brand new …

1
Are Christmas Carolers Okay? 1:17:47

11M ago1:17:47

1:17:47

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/50goodchildren and use code 50goodchildren to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping! Today we join Nora and Luther Krank as they prepare for the surprise homecoming of their grown-ass dau…

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The Perks of Touching Grass 1:22:43

11M ago1:22:43

1:22:43

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night! 🏕️ GIVEAWAY ALERT! 🏕️ This week, we’re taking you along on our getaway to Postcard Cabins in Machimoodus, CT— where we unplug and get back in touch with ourselves 🌲✨ AND, because we loved it so much, we’re giving THREE …

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Thanksgiving When You're Gay and Italian and In Your 20s 1:19:39

11M ago1:19:39

1:19:39

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! Today Joe explains why fish are birds, we discuss Thanksgiving as a concept, and the boys ideate on a new ice cream flavor that will change the trajectory of their lives. For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! Use …

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Do Gays Need Gay Friends? 1:08:49

11M ago1:08:49

1:08:49

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! RECORDED PRE-ELECTION: Today we discuss the technicalities of what it means to be a gay person, from coming to terms to coming out. Use code GOODCHILDREN at RocketRX.com for 4…

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Our Friendship Was Over 1:10:26

11M ago1:10:26

1:10:26

An early release for some much needed distraction right about now <3 Go out and vote if you haven't yet! WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! This week, we have a very serious, very honest, conversation about the…

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The Partying Will Catch Up To You 1:12:42

12M ago1:12:42

1:12:42

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! Today, we’re diving into the wild aftermath of weekend debauchery—why we keep saying “never again” but somehow still show up in the same places every Friday night. We’re talki…